


A Stupid Tradition

by Purpleprose556



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nygmobblepot is endgame I swear, Some Humor, Some Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22750420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpleprose556/pseuds/Purpleprose556
Summary: Ed starts to receive riddles from a secret admirer, and can't help but wonder if they're from the gorgeous guy he's been infatuated with for months.
Relationships: Isabella/Edward Nygma, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Jerome Valeska
Comments: 52
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

Ed hated cellophane. 

It was an obnoxious substance - loud, toxic, and often used for ridiculous purposes. The incessant crinkling of his fellow students opening kitschy gift baskets and overpriced chocolates was enough to drive him to taking his studies to the library. Unfortunately, Gotham University's library staff opted to decorate the building in pink and red paper hearts, even handing out candy to those who were checking out romance novels. 

It was obscenely insipid. But then, Valentine's Day itself was a stupid tradition.

Kristen Kringle scowled at him as he entered the building, then hurried into the back room to avoid him. Last year, Ed's infantile infatuation led to a few awkward dates, and ultimately culminated in disaster. Once Kristen discovered Ed's involvement in her idiotic ex-boyfriend's expulsion, she'd become hysterical, threatening to report him, then settling on demanding that he never speak to her again. 

_**You should have let me handle it, Ed. You just stood there, whining like a child, begging her to stay...** _

_-No! Be quiet._

No.

He couldn't lose control.

Not again. 

Ed took a deep breath and found a seat at a table in the back, near the framed maps of the city. Studies would be a welcome distraction. His professors acknowledged his genius, and most of them allowed him to create his own syllabus. Right now, he was preparing a paper on the history of Gotham's architecture and its influence on modern life for his History of Gotham class. It was beneficial to truly understand one's surroundings, and the city's history was indeed fascinating. 

The fact that it might impress a certain classmate...well. That would just be a lovely bonus. 

Ed smiled to himself as he looked over his notes. It was clear that the object of his affection was a of a prickly sort; he'd even told Ed that he was standing too close when they first met. But oh, those beautiful light eyes...Ed could not fully ascertain their color. Those eyes were beyond simple "blue" or "green". No, that color was something new, a heavenly correlation of blue and green, the sky after a day of rain. And those lips, and that gorgeous jet black hair...

 _Stop thinking about him._ Such thoughts were inappropriate in a public setting. As it was, Ed's pants were starting to feel a bit constrictive and his skin was feeling flushed. His heart rate had picked up, and he was certain his pupils were dilated. It would not do to be aroused right now, lest someone were to think he was here to pleasure himself like one of the moronic imbeciles that used the library as a sort of brothel. 

_**But now you're thinking about it, aren't you? Pathetic. Hiding your erection, thinking about a guy who doesn't know you exist...or if he does, he probably hates you. Don't you want to have the courage to go up to him, grab that hair in your fist, and kiss that mouth that is just *begging* to be stuffed with your ...** _

"Nygma? That you?"

Ed looked up, his heart dropping when he saw Harvey Bullock approaching, wearing a familiar smirk. 

"Congratulations. You found the library." Ed cleared his throat and tried to will his body to calm down. "There are things here called books. People read them. Try not to let it alarm you."

"Ha ha. Hey, since you're here, I'm gonna need you to help me with the essay due next week."

"You mean do it for you?"

"Now you're talking." Harvey chuckled. "I'd pay you, but I'm a little short on cash. We'll open up a tab. You help me get through class, I pay you once I pass. Deal?"

"No. Write it yourself."

Harvey scoffed. "Some of us have a life, Nygma. Don't take out your sad existence out on me." The senior reached down and picked up one of Ed's notebooks before he could react. "Whatcha got there? More of those riddles you like spouting in class?"

"Give it back," Ed hissed, getting up to snatch the notebook away before Harvey shoved him back down. 

"What the...this is in freaking Latin!" Harvey tossed the notebook on the table with a scoff. "Are you for real, Nygma?"

Ed glowered at him. "I am not one of your whiskey induced hallucinations, Bullock. Now if you please..."

"What's that?" Harvey stumbled closer, pointing to Ed's History of Gotham textbook. 

"...Do you seriously not know what a book is? My god!"

 _"That."_ Harvey poked his fat finger at a red bookmark sticking out between the closed pages. "It looks like a Valentine's Day card."

Ed snorted. "You are being preposterous. We are not in grade school."

"It is!" Harvey tugged on the card and held it over his head. Ed tried to reach for it while remaining seated, but to no avail. He could only grip the armrests of his chair and watch as Harvey opened his card. 

"Who's it from? You got a secret admirer, Nygma?" Harvey taunted as he looked over the card and frowned. "Huh. Weird."

"Give. Me. My. Card." Ed's nails were clawing into the armrests now. He was imagining taking his pencil and stabbing Harvey right in his smug face, and _good god_ , Ed swore he heard his own laughter in his head, like his other self just loved that idea...

Harvey threw the card on the table with a cruel laugh. "Whoever wants to get in your pants likes riddles too," he taunted, and wandered off to bother a group of cheerleaders hovering in the Romance section.

Ed grabbed the card and stared at it for a few moments. The card itself was black, with a red question mark written on the front. It gave him a bit of a thrill. 

But who would put a Valentine's Day card in his textbook?

_**Who indeed? Not the object of your affections, Ed. He would *never*...** _

_\- Shut. Up._

Ed ignored the laughter in his head and opened the card, barely managing to stop himself from giggling with glee. It _was_ a riddle.

**What is the one instance when Halloween comes before Valentine's Day?**

"Easy. A dictionary." Ed's eyes grew wide. "Wait."

Was there another part to this? Would there be another card in one of the dictionaries?

Was his _secret admirer_ planning on sending him more riddles?

Thankfully, Ed's body had calmed down enough that he could gather his things and make a beeline to the Reference section so he could peruse the dictionaries in hopes for another clue.

++++++++

It was an utterly _stupid_ thing to do, but yet, he did it. Once again, Oswald gave into his emotions and now, he had to live with the fact that he made himself vulnerable.

Oh, how he thought it was brilliant, leaving riddles all over school and the idea of incorporating holidays! But now, Oswald sat outside the library like a lovesick stalker while Ed Nygma - brilliant, amazing, _beautiful_ Ed Nygma - was probably deducing Oswald's pathetic crush and probably trying not to vomit. 

God, the whole idea was _idiotic_ , and _stupid, stupid, stupid_ -

"Whoa there, you're gonna knock yourself out."

Oswald stopped hitting himself in the head with his Advanced Politics textbook and looked up at a concerned Jim Gordon, of all people. Crushing on Jim during his entire freshman year had been another idiotic venture of his, as was deluding himself into thinking they were actual friends. 

"What do you care?" Oswald snapped. "This doesn't concern you!"

"Sheesh, sorry." Instead of leaving, like a normal person would, Jim approached him and sat at the same table while Oswald stared at him in shock. "So, Ozzie..."

"Oswald!"

"...Right, sorry. Forgot that was Sofia's nickname for you." Jim had the decency to cringe at himself. "I wanted to apologize for what happened with Sofia. She got us both good in the end, didn't she?"

Somehow Oswald didn't snap his umbrella in half. "I hardly think that what that woman put me through compares to you getting stood up at fucking Homecoming!"

"You're right, you're right. Sorry." Jim cringed again. "Look, she's already transferred out of the country, so I just wanted to..."

"Goodbye, James." Oswald sneered at him. "Please give my regards to whatever nameless hussy you have wearing your letter jacket these days."

"Hey." Jim narrowed his eyes, a sight that used to give Oswald butterflies but now just irritated the hell out of him. "My girlfriend is not a hussy, and her name is Lee."

"Congratulations to you both." Oswald opened his textbook and stared at it intently until Jim sighed and got up. 

"I'll leave you alone. Later, Oswald." Jim paused. "I really am sorry."

Everything inside Oswald screamed at him not to look up, but...

_Oh._

Jim's contrite expression was dazzling. Those big eyes, that pouting mouth...

_No!_

"Leave me the fuck alone!" Oswald screamed, staring wildly at Jim until the other man turned and finally left. Oswald turned his wild gaze to the few students that were staring after his outburst, and they quickly looked away.

"That's right," Oswald muttered. He wanted to be left the hell alone. He was used to being alone. 

God, why did he leave those stupid riddles everywhere? This was going to end in a disaster...

_But maybe...._

_No._

_No, don't be ridiculous. He could have anybody. Why would Ed Nygma want Oswald Cobblepot?_

Oswald clenched his jaw, swallowed hard, and pretended to read.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dammit!" Ed slammed the 11th edition of Merriam Webster's Dictionary onto the shelf, making the study group sitting near him jump. He ignored the subsequent shushing and gritted his teeth. That was the tenth and last dictionary in the library, and it didn't have any cards or riddles hidden in it. 

Was this all a joke? Was somebody doing this as a prank, just to see him running around like an idiot?

**_You do know that's the most likely scenario, don't you?_ **

"No," Ed growled, and looked around wildly. No one would go through all this trouble just to laugh at him. This felt...real.

Hope was a dangerous thing, but he did wonder if this was something that Oswald would concoct. He was a brilliant, cunning man, who'd single-handedly rearranged the social dynamic at Gotham University. Before Oswald, two legacy families, the Maronis and the Falcones, ran everything - events, student elections, even staff hirings. But change came in the form of Oswald Cobblepot, who had risen from being a student assistant to one of Falcone's lackeys and ultimately being a feared leader in his own right. Even his eventually humiliating experience with Sofia Falcone didn't diminish Oswald's influence. So, if someone were to mastermind something as elaborate as a hunt for riddles, it would stand to argue that Oswald could operate such a task. 

Or was it just wishful thinking?

Truth be told, Oswald didn't seem to like Ed that much. It had been impossible not to notice him when Ed first saw him last year in their shared Developmental Psychology class. Oswald had stumbled into the classroom with that ever-present sneer, and Ed had stared in fascination and desire. 

He'd had to approach him. It was an absolute necessity. 

_Those light eyes studied the room, taking in the surroundings with a scowl. Ed watched as Oswald's body lurched as he made his way into the classroom, scanning for the best possible seat. It was an undoubtedly strategic move; too close to the front made you vulnerable to those behind you, while too far back rendered one invisible._

_Oswald Cobblepot could never be invisible._

_Ed glanced hopefully at the seat next to him, which had remained empty since he'd claimed it. He was not a popular young man, not like Jim Gordon, the new guy who already seemed to have formed his own clique. He was smack in the middle of the classroom, laughing at something Lee Thompkins was saying and playfully tossing a football back and forth with Harvey Bullock. Jim Gordon, young and athletic, handsome as hell, a walking cliche._

_Oswald seemed to stare at Jim for a moment too long for Ed's liking, and Ed cleared his throat and grinned up at Oswald, desperate to feel the gaze of those gorgeous eyes._

_Said eyes traveled down, looking at Ed with a touch of curiosity but mostly disdain. "Can I help you?" he sneered._

_Panic caused Ed's mind to short circuit. "I don't think so," he practically babbled, and got to his feet. "Can you?"_

_Oswald's eyes narrowed as Ed silently screamed at the knowledge that he'd just made a flirtatious greeting equivalent of a spitball. "What do you want?" Oswald demanded, giving Ed a cocky smirk that oozed danger and sex._

_'Nothing'," Ed wanted to reply casually, but instead, his mouth ran ahead without him. "What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die."_

_Oswald blinked. It was adorable. "Is this... Are you asking me a riddle?"_

_Ed beamed. "Do you like riddles?"_

_"No," Oswald replied curtly, and looked back at Jim Gordon. Something flickered in those eyes, an emotion Ed could recognize if he allowed himself to be honest. But no, Oswald Cobblepot wouldn't be interested in Jim Gordon. The idea was preposterous. Ludicrous, even. Jim Gordon was the big man on campus, Mr. Popular, and Oswald was...an enigma. Someone like that deserved a romance for the ages, someone who would appreciate his brilliance, his gorgeous features, his absolutely stunning presence...his everything._

_Ed wanted to be that person. He wanted to be worthy. He wanted Oswald Cobblepot._

_"So do you give up?" Ed blurted, desperate to regain Oswald's attention._

_It worked. Oswald sighed and shook his head. "Friend, lookit..."_

_"Nothing," Ed prattled, his heart leaping at the word 'friend'. "The answer's nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you'll die."_

_Oswald frowned, those pretty lips nearly pouting. Oh, what a sight. "Who are you?"_

_This was it! Their introduction, the basis of all future interactions. This had to be perfect. "Edward. Nygma." A careful emphasis on his name, not to be forgotten. Now to be playful, even seductive. "I know who you are," Ed purred, his lips curving into a smirk._

_Those eyes looked him over, and was that an appreciative glint? Something flickered over those dark features. Oswald stepped closer, that cocky grin reappearing. "Then you know that you're standing too close," Oswald murmured._

_Ed looked down, stepped back and tapped his fingers on the back of his chair. Oswald's gaze focused on Ed's hands and to Ed's amazement, the other man's tongue slipped out and wet his lower lip. Then those eyes lifted and looked at Ed with curiosity, the shadow of a knowing grin playing at the corner of those sweet looking lips._

_Ed's jaw dropped. He knew that look. He'd been on the receiving end of it plenty of times enough to know what it meant._

_But his traitorous mouth was a locomotive, unable and unwilling to be stopped. "Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet? Isn't that neat?"_

_That sexy look vanished, replaced by a look of confusion, then irritation. "Nice to meet you," Oswald muttered, and shuffled to an empty seat behind and to the right of Ed's._

_Knowing that Oswald could see him, but couldn't be watched, was frustrating beyond words. Still, every so often Ed would feel that gaze on him, and the weight of it was nothing short of enthralling._

Ed sighed at the memory of last year's class and stared miserably at the bookshelf in front of him. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand - finding the next riddle. What was the logical next step? He'd gone through the dictionaries and found nothing. Students couldn't check out reference books, so it wasn't a possibility that the book he needed was in someone's dorm room right now. It also wasn't likely that his...admirer...would put a card in a foreign language dictionary. Maybe there was a dictionary behind the reference desk. Yes - that made sense. Whoever was trying to court him...

**_It's not Oswald, loser._ **

...wouldn't make things too easy. 

Ed peeked out from behind the shelf and sighed when he saw who was just coming out to sit at the desk. 

"Kristen Kringle. Of course." He stood up straight, keeping his expression neutral and headed over.

She looked up when he heard someone approach, her smile fading when she saw it was him. Those eyes that once looked at Ed with casual indifference, then affection, now gazed at him in contempt. "Yes?" she asked tersely, nearly hissing at him.

"I need help," he blurted.

"No kidding." She pointed at the door. "The mental health facility is that way. Though I think you might be beyond benefitting from any kind of normal therapy. No, I think Arkham is more suited to your needs."

"I need a dictionary," he informed her between clenched teeth.

Kristen scoffed. "What for? I thought you already knew everything."

"You're not listening! I _said_ , I need..." Ed breathed in deeply, trying to slow his racing pulse. _Calm. Be calm. Act normal._ "Please. A dictionary. I've already looked at all the editions in the reference section."

"Fine." Kristen rolled her eyes and turned to grab a book from the small shelf behind her. She blew the thin layer of dust on the cover in Ed's direction and smirked as he coughed. "Here. Have fun."

Ed nearly snatched it from her hands, his pulse racing even though the presence of dust on the tome alerted him that this was not the book he needed. But it had to be; there weren't any other options, and he was not ready to give up just yet.

++++++++

The words were jumbling together in a hazy, dark mess. This, Oswald thought to himself, was foolishness. Why was he pretending to read? Why was he putting on airs for the surrounding idiocy that was the student body at Gotham University?

Truthfully, it was a ludicrous attempt to distract himself from the mess he'd made. When Edward Nygma had cheerfully introduced himself in last year's Developmental Psychology class, Oswald had responded with biting sarcasm and indifference. He'd had to - getting butterflies and flushed skin only led to rash decisions and general idiocy. It was a lesson he'd learned with Jim Gordon and even Sofia Falcone.

Oswald was destined to be alone. He should get used to it.

"...Hey birdy birdy bird, pretty bird..."

Oswald's head snapped up at the familiar voice. "Oh god, no."

"Blasphemy!" A loud cackle had nearby students looking up in trepidation and Oswald rolling his eyes. He stiffened as the bench shifted under the weight of another person, and nearly jumped at the feel of a broad chest pressing against his back. "Miss me?" the voice hissed.

"No," Oswald responded curtly. 

"Aww." Strong arms wrapped around Oswald's waist and gently rocked him side to side. "Such a meanie."

++++++++

"Nothing," Ed whispered, and shoved the dictionary aside. He'd poured through every page, even hoping for something scribbled in the margins or a clue in a highlighted word, but there had been nothing.

This was a setup.

Ed exhaled and slipped off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes to try to relieve the pain behind them. He should have known better. The thought of someone going through the trouble of coming up with riddles, and planting them around the school to do anything but humiliate him was preposterous. He was too weird, too nerdy, too everything. 

And to think he'd thought Oswald Cobblepot could be the one who had wanted him...

A humorous laugh escaped him, and he aggressively unzipped his bag, ready to pull out the offending valentine and tear it to shreds. His fingers closed around the card when something in his bag caught his eye.

His personal, leather bound medical dictionary. 

"No," Ed breathed. It couldn't be. But then, the first clue had been hidden in his textbook, so maybe, just maybe, this could be the location of the next card.

Slowly Ed retrieved the book from his bag, willing his hands not to shake. Normally the idea of a stranger pawing through his things would make him irate, but if someone were to go through the trouble of doing all this to make Ed happy, well, it was working. His heart was beating at what felt like twice its normal speed, his hands were indeed shaking, and...

There it was. A folded piece of green paper, with a large question mark on the front, tucked into the pages of anatomical drawings of hearts. 

"Oh," Ed gasped, almost too delighted to move. Curiosity got the better of him, of course, and he quickly unfolded the paper to read the message. 

**You're very good at this, aren't you? Of course you are. Your cleverness is part of what I first noticed about you. Well, that and your exceedingly handsome features.**

Ed giggled despite himself, drawing a few perplexed looks from fellow students. He didn't care.

**On with the next riddle, shall we?**

**I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?**

"Easy. The missing elements indicate an inanimate object...it's a map. A map!" Ed looked up, eyeing the framed maps of Gotham in the middle of the library. He was about to get up to start inspecting them when he noticed something on the bottom of the paper. 

**What you seek you won't find here  
Wait for the luckiest day of the year**

Ed groaned. He'd have to wait a whole month? That hardly seemed fair. His eyes travelled to the bottom corner of the page, which had an arrow pointing to the right, indicating that he should turn the page over. On the back, an additional note was written. 

**I have a gift to tide you over until then. Check out a copy of Sun Tze's The Art of War, and tell the librarian that you think Valentine's Day is a sham commercial holiday.**

"Oh, you are a delight." Ed got up to hurry to the nonfiction section, humming to himself as he made his way to the shelves.

++++++++

Oswald scowled as he felt teeth begin to nibble on his ear. "Please stop."

"My birdy used to be so much fun..."

"Jerome, I am not yours." Oswald squeaked as the hand on his waist slid down to squeeze in between his legs. "We are in public!" he hissed, squirming as he was pulled back onto the other man's lap.

"Come back to my place," Jerome sang into his ear, punctuating the suggestion with a lick against Oswald's earlobe. "Off campus, just us in that old house...you can scream all you want."

Oswald forced himself to breathe normally. He'd hooked up with Jerome first after being shot down by Jim, then humiliated by Sofia, and Jerome had been more than happy to pick up the pieces of a broken man. The sex had been pretty amazing, but Oswald never kidded himself to believe that the two of them would be anything serious. Besides, Jerome Valeska was certifiably off the deep end.

"Such a pretty birdy." Jerome sunk his teeth into the back of Oswald's neck. "I just _love_ those noises you make."

Oswald shivered and closed his eyes. As much as he wanted Ed, (who would no doubt be an intense lover, but also sweet and sensual) the reality was that Ed didn't want him. He couldn't. He'd pined over that librarian and seemed to have an eye for Jim Gordon's girlfriend as well. Oswald's whole seduction plan was a farce, but it was too late to stop it now. He could only hope Ed wouldn't become homicidal when he found out that Oswald was behind everything. 

In the meantime, there was Jerome, and Oswald did care for the man, even if he was a nutcase.

"Okay."

"Mmm?" Jerome nipped at Oswald's neck again. "Say that again, Pengy?"

"Okay, let's go to your place." 

Jerome hooted with laughter and squeezed Oswald's waist, making the other man smile despite himself. At least _someone_ wanted him.

++++++++

"Valentine's Day is a sham holiday," Ed cheerfully informed the librarian. "Valentines themselves are based on letters written from a man while he was imprisoned. The greeting card and candy companies have turned February fourteenth into a cornucopia of sugar and recycled paper, all to appease the unending hunger of the consumer. In fact..."

"Oh god. You're him." The librarian - Sara, according to her nametag - sighed and pushed The Art of War at him. "Okay, two weeks for this, and hold on a second...there's something for you in the back." She disappeared in the back room and came back with a wrapped box. "Here. I'm supposed to tell you that patience can indeed be a virtue."

Ed took the box carefully, his eyes wide. "What else did they say? Did they give any other clues? Am I meant to..." 

Sara held a hand up. "I did what I said I'd do. I don't know any more."

Ed leaned over the desk, his heart racing. "Can you tell me anything?"

She smiled slightly. "I got all my instructions via notes from the courier, who had no idea about who sent them. But I can say they paid fairly well. Maybe you've got a sugar momma...or a sugar daddy." Sara smirked at Ed's astonished expression. "Enjoy your sham holiday."

Somehow Ed made it outside without tearing into the black and silver wrapping paper. It looked expensive, and he intended to keep it as a momento, as well as possibly deriving clues from it, but right now he had to know what sort of present his admirer gave him. Ed sat down on the library steps and eagerly opened the box, drawing in a sharp breath when he saw the contents. Gourmet fortune cookies, dipped in chocolate and covered with green sprinkles - his favorite color. He gleefully cracked one open, nearly squealing when he saw that the fortune inside contained another riddle.

**I am given freely to strangers to be polite, but to those I love, I am priceless. Turn me upside down for the opposite effect. ******

"A smile," Ed whispered, and turned the fortune over. 

******Oh, how I love your smile, Ed.** ** **

Ed laughed, nearly dizzy with emotions as he gathered up his treasures and made a beeline to his dorm room to read the rest of his fortunes. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Ugh..."

Oswald opened his eyes. 

He was lying face down on a mattress, a worn, ancient thing with tattered sheets stretched over its weak frame. Cool air hit his bare skin, and Oswald weakly pulled at the covers. Something heavy was on his back. 

"Ugh..."

He was sore. His shoulders and his head were throbbing with pain, and the rest of him felt a familiar sort of ache, some of it not terribly unpleasant.

_Oh. Oh no._

Parts of last night came back in pieces. Drinking bourbon straight from the bottle, watching as Jerome fired a gun at random items in his house. The two of them throwing knives at walls and cackling as they destroyed artwork. Raiding the pantry, stuffing their faces with sugary snacks. Jerome finding a jar of maraschino cherries and insisting on feeding Oswald, pulling the other man onto his lap and smearing cherry juice all over his lips. 

Oswald wiped at his mouth, still tasting the syrupy sweetness. He remembered squirming on Jerome's lap, and groaning when fingers dripping with juice pushed past his lips to massage his tongue.

_"Mmm, tastes good? How about a smile, then? Ahhh, yes, there it is. Love that smile of yours, Ozzie."_

The sudden memory of Jerome's heated whispers sparked a similar reminder of something Oswald had written for one of Ed's fortunes. 

**Oh, how I love your smile, Ed.**

Oswald's throat tightened. "Ed," he groaned, and rubbed his eyes to relieve the sudden stinging behind them. 

_Oh god, Ed. Oh, shit, what have I done?_

Oswald tried to sit up, but the arm draped across his back made him pause. Slowly he turned, bracing himself for a knowing leer, but the Jerome continued to sleep undisturbed. 

_What the *fuck* have I done?_

Self pity and loneliness brought him here, lying face down and naked on a sagging mattress with Jerome Valeska's arm possessively flung over his shoulders. If Ed ever found out about this...

No. That could not happen. Oswald needed to leave _now_.

With a wince, Oswald attempted to shift away, his body reminding him of the other things they had gotten up to last night. He didn't need to look down to know that he had bruises on his hips from when Jerome drove into him from behind, making him scream, and didn't need a mirror to know that his shoulders were covered in scratches from when Oswald had Jerome on his back. They'd switched a few times last night, Oswald remembered, suddenly recalling the image of the redhead grinning up at him, muttering encouragement as Oswald rode him hard, damn near breaking the bed frame...

Oswald had managed to scoot a few inches closer to the edge of the bed, but Jerome grunted in his sleep and pulled Oswald closer to him, then continued to snore.

"Great," Oswald muttered. He'd have to actually wake Jerome up to escape, and he was not looking forward to the inevitable conversation that would follow. 

"I fear we may have miscalculated our promised time of arrival." 

Oswald froze as two figures wandered in the room, stopping a few feet from the bed. He knew that voice - it belonged to Jonathan Crane, a freshman who already had a reputation for being unpredictably vicious. He'd locked many a student in closets with cadavers from the medical unit to "help them face the fear of death", and often wandered around the campus wearing a creepy scarecrow mask, refusing to take it off even during classes. Jonathan was now wearing the infamous mask and the younger man tilted his head, staring curiously at Oswald, who could only stare back in shock.

The other man scoffed and checked his pocket watch. "To this I must object. Our arrival is prompt and correct." 

_Jervis Tetch._ A fellow sophomore, Jervis was known for speaking in rhymes, as well as his obsession with his dead sister, Lewis Carroll, and wreaking havoc. Rumors of him hypnotizing students and staff into doing bizarre and dangerous things for his amusement made him notorious. Jervis tsked and squinted at Oswald. "The Penguin, I presume?"

Oswald fought the urge to scream. The last thing he needed right now was to be trapped under a sleeping madman, while still recovering from a night of debauchery with said madman, and then be gawked at by two of the strangest students Gotham had to offer. "Some privacy, please?" Oswald sputtered. 

Jervis tsked again and put away his watch. "We are not here to witness your sexual proclivities. Jerome asked us to be here to discuss plans. I did not know you would be joining us, but the more, the merrier. Still, I do believe you should get dressed. Your nudity will only distract everyone."

"Get out, then!" Oswald hissed, grabbing at the sheets to cover himself. 

"I find it rather frightening that you believe that you can order us around like children," Jonathan snarled.

Jervis nodded. "What my fellow student says is true - we do not answer to you."

"You are not scared to voice your thoughts, Penguin. Yet our presence seems to terrify you."

"If I may hazard a guess, it is due to his state of undress. Perhaps -"

"Ack, do you jerks ever shut up?" Jerome lifted his head with a glare. "Wait for me downstairs. Let me have my private time with dear ol' Ozzie here."

Oswald buried his face in the pillow beneath him as the two intruding students left the room, muttering to themselves. 

"Hmm. That's better. So annoying, those two." Jerome nipped at Oswald's arm. "How's my favorite bird?"

++++++++

_I am in love._

Ed beamed at the ceiling, nearly dizzy with glee. He was literally lying on a bed of riddles. He'd read and solved every single one of them, all of them clever and witty, all of them bearing a rhapsodic ode to him. The notes attached to the riddles waxed poetic about his smile, his eyes, his intelligence, his laugh...all the things he thought no one would ever notice. 

"You're perfect," he sighed, and lazily reached for a cookie. They were delicious, and he'd had to stop himself from over indulging. 

Who was this person, this admirer? Ed nearly didn't care. He was in love. No one had ever made him feel so alive, so seen. Whoever it was cared about him deeply, and wanted him happy. They were considerate, loving, and downright brilliant. How could Ed not fall in love with that?

His phone buzzed, and he frowned, unsure of who would be calling him. He wasn't particularly friendly with anyone, and his family had pretty much written him off when they realized that he was... different. 

**_You mean crazy? That's the word they used, don't you remember? Mom screaming at you to stop talking to yourself, Dad calling you a freak..._ **

"Shut up," Ed growled, and rolled over to retrieve his phone. The number was not familiar to him. "Hello?"

"Hey, Nygma...Ed! Did I wake you?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Jim Gordon."

"That's me."

"How did you get my number?"

"I've got my ways." Jim chuckled. "Hey, so, we're forming a study group for history class. I know you probably don't need it, but -"

"Your deduction is correct."

"...But Lee and I figured it would be fun to get some people together this morning. We'll look over our class notes, eat food, have some fun with it. You in?"

"No thank you."

"Aw, c'mon, Ed..."

"No. Thank you." Ed narrowed his eyes. Jim Gordon was friendly enough, but Ed didn't care for the pity in the other man's eyes when he looked at Ed. Plus knowing that Oswald Cobblepot had harbored a serious crush on Jim last year made Ed kind of want to slit his throat.

"Wait, wait!" Another voice piped up in the background, one Ed recognized as belonging to Lee Thompkins. Ed liked her - she was smart, funny, and kind. He wasn't surprised that Jim ended up with her, as she was sort of his female counterpart. They made a very striking couple. "Ed, c'mon. You never go to parties, football games..."

"Correct." 

"Join us, and we'll make it worth your while. I know Professor Doyle is requiring that you get a lab partner for the project you want to do for his class..."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Synaptic Structures. I am comparing results from donated brain tissue."

"Right, and Doyle doesn't like people working alone in his lab. If I partner with you, I can use the lab time for my neuropathology class. Win-win. What do you say?"

Ed sighed. When Doyle had insisted on Ed finding a lab partner for his project, it seemed like a nail in the coffin. No one would partner with Ed Nygma, the weirdo, the freak, and Ed had been mentally preparing himself for the possibility of abandoning his pet project, which he was loathe to do, since he _really_ wanted to get his hands on some brain matter. 

Still, he had his pride. "Tell Harvey Bullock and any other like minded idiots that I will not tolerate any offers of plagiarism for my work."

"I'll talk to Harvey, he'll be fine," Lee promised. "So, do we have a deal?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "I suppose."

"Great! We're meeting at my place, it's the blue house off Heller street."

"Fine."

++++++++

"Mmm, just fine?"

Oswald sighed and tried burrowed under the covers, but Jerome flung the sheets aside and sunk his teeth into Oswald's shoulder. 

"My little birdy can't hide from me," Jerome taunted. He wrapped an arm around Oswald's waist and let his free hand wander over his chest and stomach, humming in appreciation. 

Oswald scoffed. "I'm not little."

"Don't I know it." Jerome reached between Oswald's legs to squeeze him, chuckling when Oswald gasped. "Gotta say, Pengy, I'm feeling a bit sore. I like it though. Whaddya say we play around little bit, make those fellas downstairs wait for us?"

"I should go. I have class later." Oswald tried to ignore his body's obvious interest in Jerome's suggestion and attempted to wriggle away. 

Jerome growled and climbed on top of Oswald's lap, glaring down at him. "Just gonna run off, huh? After all the fun we had? Nah, you should stay with me, Pengy."

"Why?" Oswald shot back, his hands reaching for Jerome's hips, ready to throw him to the side. Once his hands felt the warm, pale skin, he hesitated, and the other man grinned. 

"Mmm, looks like you want to stay." Jerome pressed his length against Oswald's and wrapped his hands around both of them. Oswald moaned helplessly and bucked his hips up, making the other man grin wickedly. 

"There you go...you like that, dontcha? How about if I move my hand like so...oh, yup, that's a definite yes. Hmm...maybe you'll go downstairs with me when I'm done? Be a part of my big scheme? Would love to have you on board...mmm, you're such a good team player..."

"Oh god, Jerome...please..."

"Ah, you know I like begging, Ozzie. Music to my ears."

"We...shouldn't...do this..." Oswald managed, already feeling his pleasure build to dizzying heights.

"Mmm, why not?"

"Because...oh my god... I sent... someone...a valentine!" Oswald erupted, Jerome following close behind. 

Reality came crashing down as Oswald gathered his breath. Jerome grabbed one of his shirts to clean them up and gave Oswald a searching look.

"Sent a valentine, huh? That a euphemism, Ozzie?" Jerome smirked, but something dark flickered in his eyes.

"N-no." Oswald sat up and wiped his face. "Jerome, I...there's someone that I..."

"If you two have finished mating, please remember that we are waiting!" Jervis shouted from the hallway. 

Jerome rolled his eyes and tossed the shirt to the floor. "Morons. Come downstairs, Ozzie. You need to be a part of this."

Oswald sighed. "Jerome..."

"Downstairs," Jerome snapped, and stormed off to his closet. 

Oswald rubbed his eyes, breathing deeply. His throat was tight with guilt and he didn't know what made him feel worse - being with Jerome when he was infatuated with Ed, or using Jerome as a means of massaging his own stupid ego. Jerome seemed to actually like him, as crazy as it seemed. Plus, Oswald was hardly in a relationship with Ed, and had already decided that his courting project, while already in progress, was doomed.

Would Ed Nygma really give a damn if he knew Oswald was here?

But the thought of Ed made Oswald's heart soar. What he wouldn't give to be with Ed now, in his arms, planning all sorts of havoc with him instead.

What sort of things could they come up with together?

"Pengy...as much as I enjoy the view, I'm not sure the other guys will." Jerome threw Oswald's clothes at him and glared. "Get dressed. You're going to be a big part of what I have planned."

++++++++

"You've gotta be kidding me."

Ed narrowed his eyes at Harvey Bullock, who stayed in the doorway staring at Ed with a smirk. 

"Hello, Harvey."

"Never thought you'd actually show." Harvey took a drink from his coffee cup and raked his eyes over Ed. "Nice shirt."

Ed resisted the urge to fiddle with the top button of his forest green shirt, one of his favorites. "Where are Jim and Lee?" he growled. 

"Inside. They told me I gotta be nice to you. So I guess I'll let you in." Harvey stepped aside and Ed hurried past him, following the sound of laughter and conversation. The grip on his bag tightened as he stood in the entryway of the dining room, watching as a small group of fellow students passed around plates of fruit and pastries. Jim and sat on the opposite side of the table, his arm around Lee, looking carefree and happy with his stupid handsome face. 

**_Easy to see why Oswald liked him, right? It's because he's not insane. He's everything you're not...loser._ **

Ed clenched his jaw and fought the urge to shout at himself. "I have arrived," he blurted. 

Heads turned and looked him over as the laughter and conversation died down. Ed's face burned as he recognized the looks of curiosity and mild disgust.

_**You never should have come. Freak.** _

"Ed! Great to see you!" Lee gestured to an empty seat across from her. "Sit down, we're just getting started." 

"Very well." Ed sat down, very much aware of the empty chairs on either side of him. The message was clear - he was invited, but not completely welcome. He could never belong with these sort of people.

_**You mean normal people?** _

_Shut up._

Ed began unpacking his notes as Jim droned on about the upcoming midterms and the big presentation he had planned for the History of Gotham class, one that he was working on with Harvey and Lee. Ed managed not to roll his eyes and was focused on tuning him out when he heard Jim mentioning "the map unveiling".

"A map?" Ed inquired, his head snapping up from his notes. "What map? Where?"

"The map of Gotham the historical society found when they cleaned out that old house on Revell Street," Jim explained. "They're going to unveil it after the St. Patrick's Day parade next month."

"Revell Street? Isn't that the same street the Valeska house is on?" someone asked in a hushed voice. 

Ed nearly laughed out loud at the expressions of terror on the other students' faces. Jerome Valeska was rumored to have killed his mother, then his father, from whom he inherited his family's house. Frequent noise complaints had driven all the other neighbors away, and no one knew what sort of deranged things Jerome did there. He was like a magnet to all the other oddballs at Gotham University, with his name often uttered in fear and awe.

Ed wanted that. He wanted people to see him as a ruthless, unpredictable force of nature that thrived on chaos. 

Maybe then Oswald Cobblepot would notice him.

_**Pathetic.** _

"Be quiet," Ed muttered.

"Excuse me, what?" Alex Alvarez narrowed his eyes. "What did you just say to me?"

"I wasn't talking to you," Ed snapped.

Alex scoffed. "Who were you talking to, then?"

"Nobody!"

Alex's lips curled into a sneer and scooted his chair further away from Ed.

_Jackass._ Ed returned his attention to his notes when a familiar voice made Ed's blood run cold.

"Excuse me..."

Slowly he lifted his gaze to see Kristen Kringle smiling down at him. Her glasses were missing, and her hair was blond, but it was her.

"May I sit next to you?" she asked quietly, hugging her bookbag to her chest. 

"You want to sit next to me?" Ed asked, his traitorous heart leaping at the thought. 

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat. "If that's okay."

Ed frowned. "Miss Kringle... Kristen..."

"Oh...no, I'm...she's my cousin." The girl smiled nervously. "I'm Isabella Kringle."

++++++++

"Oh, fuck off."

Jervis bristled at Oswald's outburst as Jonathan glared and Jerome cackled with glee. "Excuse me? Fuck off?"

"Yes." Oswald rolled his eyes and took a sip of the mimosa that one of Jerome's lackeys had made for him. When he and Jerome went downstairs to meet with Jervis and Jonathan, a few freshman had set up the dining room table with a spread of food and drinks. They bustled in and out of the kitchen as the four men spoke of plans to make their mark on the student body. So far, nothing seemed crazy enough for Jerome or feasible enough for Oswald. 

"It's a good idea!" Jervis insisted. "Just because you're Jerome's paramour doesn't mean -"

"It's a stupid idea!" Oswald shouted. "Infecting the student body? A blood drive doesn't guarantee that you'll be able to affect all the students. You want to make a big impact, right? So why don't we do that and actually impact the entire school?"

"What do you suggest, then?" Jonathan demanded.

Oswald drummed his fingers on the table. "Think, people. What's the next big event coming up for GU?"

"The St. Patrick's Day parade," Jerome answered, his eyes taking on a dangerous glint. 

"Okay, and what do we want to achieve with this grand gesture?"

"Fear," Jonathan replied.

"Chaos," Jerome purred.

"Madness," Jervis whispered. 

Oswald smiled. "And what says all that better than an explosion?"

Jervis raised an eyebrow, but Jerome hooted with laughter. "My thoughts exactly!"

Jonathan tilted his head thoughtfully. "You want to blow up the parade?"

"Could get messy," Jervis noted.

"I like it," Jerome murmured. "Maybe we set a few fires, make things nice and toasty. That old map they found will make a nice bonfire..."

"No!"

Jerome's smile faded, and he narrowed his eyes at Oswald. "No? Why?"

"I have plans for that," Oswald managed, his face burning under Jerome's suspicious gaze. "Nevermind the map. I have an idea, but it will require a lot of materials, and we don't have that much time. First things first...I'm going to need to get into Professor Doyle's lab, but it would be best if he was...out of commission for a while so I can get my supplies." Oswald finished his drink and stared coolly at the other three students. "I'm assuming you can collectively create a sufficient diversion?"

++++++++

"Are you serious?" Isabella laughed prettily as she stirred sugar into her coffee. "All the time. It's why I wear contacts and changed my hair. But yes, people still confuse me for my cousin."

"Fascinating," Ed breathed. An idea occurred to him, and he leaned closer. "Would I be possible to interview you for my Exploration of Self Identity class? Professor Jennings has let me create my own syllabus, and I am focusing on the dual natures of self introspection. It would be beneficial to have to input of someone who is essentially a twin."

"Oh, I'd love to," Isabella gushed. "Wow, I can't imagine creating your own syllabus. You must really be brilliant."

"I'd like to think so," Ed replied, flushing when she giggled and gave him a searching look. She seemed quite taken with him, and was intelligent, resourceful...

_Wait._

_No. It can't be her._

_Could it?_

++++++++

"Fuck no."

Jerome grunted as Oswald pulled up his StudentRide app. "No sure why we can't set the damn thing on fire..."

"I told you, I have plans for it." Oswald looked out of the corner of his eye, carefully watching Jervis and Jonathan. They had liked his plan, but clearly wanted to create their own sort of chaos. Still, Jerome was confident that everything would work out. 

And as long as he left the damn historical map alone, Ed could still get his next big riddle. 

Coming here had been a mistake. Oswald pushed back on the feeling of guilt that made his stomach turn, and breathed deeply. He wasn't with Ed...yet. He had to think positive. He had to focus. 

And he needed to keep things professional between him and Jerome. Strictly business from here on out. 

"What's with you and that stupid map?" 

Oswald scowled. "It's personal."

"Personal." Jerome said the word like it was an infectious disease. "Whatever you say." He leaned close and brushed his lips against Oswald's ear. "You just let me know if you ever want a helping hand, Pengy." 

Oswald jumped when Jerome nipped at his earlobe, which made the redhead laugh hysterically as he wandered away. 

_Your ride is arriving in ten minutes. Your driver's name is Butch Gilzean_ , the app informed Oswald, and he sighed. Of course it was Butch. The history between him and the junior student was sketchy at best. The last time they'd talked, Butch had taunted Oswald about Sofia, and Oswald had grabbed a broken bottle and held it to Butch's throat.

Maybe Butch would be feeling charitable about the whole thing.

++++++++

"Not a chance," Jim growled at Harvey's suggestion.

"It's only a minute away! I'm bored, Jim, and I want to look that fellow ginger in the eye and let him know I'm not afraid of him," Harvey insisted, and took a sip of his coffee.

Jim squinted at him. "Have you been making your coffee Irish, Harvey?"

The senior snorted. "Bailey's is a creamer. The buzz is a bonus."

"So you're drunk, and you want to go to Jerome Valeska's house and confront him."

"You make it sound so crazy! It's just good vigilance. That guy is always up to no good. Let's make our presence known." Harvey turned to the group and waved. "Hey! Who wants to take a break and go sneak a peek at the Valeska place?"

Conversations stopped as students looked up and stared incredulously   
at Harvey. "Are you being serious?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, c'mon. Let's see what that maniac is up to. We deserve a break, people!"

Ed nearly jumped out of his seat when Isabella put her hand on his leg. "It might be fun," she suggested softly. 

"Fun," he echoed dully. Jerome was a beacon not just to miscreants, but to regular students as well. That was the kind of notoriety Ed needed. "...Uh, yes. Fun. Yes...let's go." He smiled to himself as Isabella grinned at him. This side trip could help take his mind off things. Besides, maybe Ed would get to see something interesting.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Seven minutes until your driver's arrival."_

"Yippee." Oswald sighed and put away his phone. Jerome had gone upstairs, leaving his guests to wander. Jonathan and Jervis were milling about in the living room, but were keeping their distance. That was fine; Oswald wasn't in the mood to attempt to converse with them any further. Once he'd gone over his plan, they agreed it was the best one and even seemed enthusiastic about it. Oswald didn't completely trust them, but one worked with what one had.

Oswald leaned against the front door, eyeing the freshmen who were busy cleaning up the dining room. They'd doted on him a bit, giving him extra helpings of fruit and keeping his drinks refreshed, but avoided looking directly at him. It was an enjoyable demonstration of fear and respect. Watching them scurry around like confused rats was amusing. It was as if Jerome had his own fraternity, complete with sycophantic pledges. Jerome didn't seem to care about them one way or another, and was outright ignoring them when he wasn't ordering them around. 

One of the students, a young man with facial piercings and neck tattoos, cautiously approached Oswald. "Mr. Penguin?"

Oswald glared at him. " _The_ Penguin. What is it?"

"Jerome wanted me to give you this." He handed over a sealed envelope. 

Oswald stared down at the envelope, his lip curled in disgust. "And what exactly is that?"

"I'm not sure what it is, but he expressly told me to make sure you got it...in private," the underclassman explained. He glanced over at Jervis and Jonathan, who were staring intently out one of the front windows, clearly oblivious.

"Fine." Oswald put the envelope in his bookbag, raising an eyebrow when the other student didn't take this as a cue to leave. "Anything else?"

"Jerome also told me to tell you that he's going to find out who your valentine is." The freshman's eyes darted around nervously.

"What?" 

"He said that he's going to..."

"I heard you," Oswald snapped. "Why in the hell would he have you tell me that? No...no, don't answer," Oswald held a hand up when the other student seemed as if he'd actually respond. "Go upstairs and get Jerome. I want a word with him."

"I-I can't!" The freshman pleaded. "We're not allowed upstairs. We're not even supposed to speak to him unless he asks!"

Oswald rolled his eyes. "For God's sake..."

"We have visitors," Jonathan announced loudly, and everything stopped. 

"What now?" Oswald scowled and hurried to the other front window while the freshman yelped and ran off. A minivan was parked across the street, too clean and new to be from one of the houses on Revell Street. Oswald glanced at his phone. Butch wasn't due for another six minutes. 

He peered out the window, squinting at the vehicle. The passenger door opened, and Oswald's stomach turned when he saw Jim Gordon step out and squint up at the house.

"Jim?" Oswald muttered, grasping at the curtains. "Why is he...?"

All the words died in his throat when he saw Ed Nygma step out of the car.

He was wearing the dark green shirt he'd worn the first time they'd met. His glasses flashed in the sunlight, making him look otherworldly for a moment, while the sun shone dotingly on his dark hair. 

He was beautiful. How could he not know? 

Ed stared at the house, frowning to himself, then looked back to the car and held out his hand. 

_What...?_

Oswald's heart sank as he watched as Ed help a beautiful blond woman step out of the vehicle. She took his hand and stepped out of the car, smiling up at him like he was Prince Charming.

"Will today's wonders never cease, Mr. Nygma has a lovely new piece," Jervis intoned. Oswald's grip on the curtains tightened.

_Lovely._ Delicate features, the light to Ed's darkness. Soft, pretty, sweet. So unlike Oswald himself, with his sharp nose, piercing eyes - all angles. Clearly what Ed wanted was a decorative female to wear on his arm.

_Of fucking course._

Ed was with a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman for a beautiful man. No room for someone as dark and twisted and ugly as Oswald. It didn't make sense, the two of them. All that work, all those clues, all for nothing. It was clear now, seeing Ed with this mystery woman, that this Valentine's Day experiment would end in humiliation and heartbreak.

Why did he ever expect anything different?

The woman said something that made Ed smile, and Oswald's breathing hitched. It was a sweet smile, one meant for someone special. Someone who had his heart. 

_How did I not know about her?_

A few more students filed out of the car, gawking at the house. Harvey Bullock swaggered into the street and pointed at the front door, saying something that made the rest of them laugh. 

"They have made a grave error." Jonathan grabbed a scythe from a nearby statue and squared his shoulders. "I will show them what they are meant to fear."

Jervis chuckled and pulled out a large hunting knife from his jacket. "Alas, they do not comprehend - if they approach, they will meet their end."

Oswald stared as the woman whispered in Ed's ear and giggled as he nodded. Pain dulled into rage as she placed her hand on Ed's shoulder and kept talking to him. "Who is she?" He hissed. "Who in the _fuck_..."

"Oooh, an audience!" Jerome bounded down the steps, cackling with glee as he entered the living room. "Mmm, I love putting on a good show." He rested his chin on Oswald's shoulder and giggled as he stared out the window. "Whaddya say, Pengy...want to greet our new guests with me?"

++++++++

"This is exciting," Isabella giggled, and wrapped her hands around Ed's arm, hugging him close. "It feels kind of naughty being here."

"Hmm." Ed's attention was focused on the windows. He could tell people were inside watching. One of curtains moved, and Ed could have sworn that he'd seen black hair sticking out in all different directions, a wild look of fury, a pouting scowl...

Harvey cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted. "Hey, freak!" 

"Jesus!" Jim glared at his friend.

"Aww, c'mon, he knows he's a freak... Jerome! Come on out! Come say hello...unless you're too scared!"

Jim sighed. "Real subtle, Harv. Real smooth."

Harvey snorted. "That Valeska twerp isn't gonna show himself. He knows better."

Before Jim could reply, the front door creaked open, swinging slowly outward until it thudded against the exterior. Beyond the door was darkness, vast and silent, and still.

Outside, all the students all exchanged a glance. Knowing they were being watched cast a tense mood, and Ed could feel his heart beating more rapidly. 

_**Go inside.** _

_No._

_**Go. Oswald is in there. Go claim him.** _

_**Unless you're too much of a fucking loser.** _

_**Are you?** _

"No!" Ed whispered.

"What?" Isabella asked softly, keeping her gaze on the open door.

"Nothing." Ed was about to pull away when Jim took a step forward, ignoring everyone's hisses to stay back. 

"Is he insane?" Isabella whispered, tightening her hold on Ed's arm. 

"Everything's fine," Jim reassured them with a tense smile, then turned and kept walking. 

"Shit," Harvey muttered. "Lee's gonna kill me for this." 

Ed watched Jim climb the steps to the house. Still, there was no movement from inside - just darkness. 

_**Don't let him go in, you idiot! He'll ruin everything.** _

Ed's jaw clenched as Jim took another step, then another. He was nearly to the front door. He was going to go inside, confront Jerome Valeska, impress Oswald, and get all the goddamn glory. 

**_Of course he is. He's practically a goddamn celebrity. Big man on campus. And who are you? A snivelling, feeble nobody._ **

Ed shook off Isabella's grip and began striding toward the house when the shrill sound of feedback made everyone jump. 

"Well, hello, uninvited guests! I see we have some wayward souls looking to be entertained!" Jerome cackled into the megaphone as Jim and Ed shared a wild glance. "Oh! Not to worry! I have some very good friends with me, and they'd just love to show you around. Come on in and we'll have an absolute blast!"

Jonathan emerged from the house, scythe in hand, Jervis close behind with his knife and a maniacal smile.

"Holy shit." Alex backed up and pawed at the car door behind him, slipping inside the vehicle once he managed to get the door open. A few other students followed, leaving Ed, Jim, and Harvey to stare at the menacing young men standing in front of Jerome's house.

"Hey." Jim held his hands up and began backing away. "No harm meant, okay? We were just leaving."

Ed continued to slowly walk up the steps. Jim grasped at his shoulder to pull him back, but Ed jerked away and kept moving until two figures stepped out of the darkness and stood in the doorway.

There he was. That piercing gaze, a familiar scowl. Behind him, a flash of red and a deranged grin. Then, a spark, then another, and a burst of flame. 

Ed watched as Oswald Cobblepot held up a bottle with a lit rag tucked inside. The flames illuminated his face, highlighting the features that Ed so loved. Jerome Valeska stood next to Oswald, laughing and running his hands adoringly and possessively over Oswald's chest and shoulders.

Ed watched as Oswald smirked at him, then threw the bottle.

Jim shouted and yanked Ed back, Jerome's hysterical laughter drowning out the shattering of glass. Flames rose up and engulfed the dried leaves that were scattered on the lawn. Ed shook off Jim's grip and remained on the steps, unable to take his eyes off Jerome lustily pawing at Oswald.

_**Grab a piece of broken glass, march right up to that ginger maniac and you show him that no one touches what belongs to you.** _

_He's not mine. He doesn't know me._

_**Then you show him who you are. You're going to let that that laughing clown have him? No. Go up to the man you've been obsessing over and make your fucking move!** _

_**Do it.** _

_**Do it NOW!** _

A black Cadillac pulled up and the window rolled down. "Hello, I'm here for...what the hell?" Butch Gilzean quickly pulled off his sunglasses and gaped at the burning lawn, then at Jonathan and Jervis waving their weapons around in Harvey's direction. "What is going on here?"

Oswald turned to Jerome and murmured something to him that made the redhead snicker. Oswald then grabbed his bag and went to leave when Jerome pulled him back, grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

"Whoa!" Harvey waved his hands around. "Okay, I did not sign up for a peep show!"

Ed's hands twitched as he watched Jerome practically stick his tongue down Oswald's throat, those stupid hands of his groping again. He was putting on a _show_ , just as he'd promised. Oswald didn't seem to mind, as he was practically performing himself, arching his back, slipping a hand between their bodies...

"I've got this!" Butch comically wrestled with a portable fire extinguisher that he'd pulled out of his trunk. "I am in control here!"

Oswald broke off his kiss with Jerome, muttered something to the other man and then casually meandered to Butch's car. He stood by the rear passenger door and examined his nails while Butch managed to aim the extinguisher at the lawn, covering the flames with a layer of frost. 

Ed could only stare at Oswald, who seemed to vibrate with irritation at having to wait for his ride to finish putting out a fire that he'd started.

Harvey flipped off Jonathan and Jervis while Jim turned his ire to Jerome. "Someone could have been hurt, you jackass!" Jim's face turning red when Jerome only laughed in response. "Go on, laugh, you deranged asshole! We're leaving! Ed, for God's sake, get in the car!"

Butch threw his fire extinguisher in the backseat of his Cadillac and said something to Oswald that made him roll his eyes. The Penguin was calm as he got into the backseat, staring straight ahead as Butch started the car. Briefly Ed toyed with the idea of standing in front of the car, envisioning himself refusing to move unless Oswald got out and talked to him, but ultimately Ed stood aside and watched them drive off.

++++++++

"Holy shit, did you see that?" Harvey slapped his hands on the dashboard as Jim sped away. "I mean...holy fucking shit!"

"The Molotov cocktail? Yeah, that was kind of hard to miss," Jim snapped, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Not just that! Crane and Tetch with weapons? Jerome Valeska making out with Penguin? It's insane!"

"Well, apparently crazy loves company." Jim glanced at Ed in his rearview mirror. "Nygma, what were you thinking back there?"

Ed remained silent, thinking of the way Jerome's hands had wandered over Oswald's body and the redhead's smug, knowing grin. He thought he'd won already.

"Nygma?"

The look in Oswald's eyes was one of satisfaction, but Ed had seen the fear behind it. Maybe Oswald had mistaken Ed's disapproving stare.

Did he not know that Ed was bi? Maybe not...he'd only dated Kristen while at GU. Plus people probably noticed that he'd had a tiny crush on Lee when he'd first met her. But still...

"Ed?"

Maybe this was all hopeless. Oswald was clearly with Jerome. Ed had an admirer, and it was probable that it was Isabella. She was smart, and sweet. Maybe Ed could use some sweet. Maybe Oswald was too intense for him.

_**Coward.** _

"Are you okay?" Isabella asked softly, placing a gentle hand on his arm. 

Ed smiled. "What is it that given one, you'll have either two or none?"

"What?" Harvey narrowed his eyes. "What the hell, Nygma?"

Ed chuckled. "Do you give up?"

"I don't..."

"A choice," Isabella said softly. 

"Correct." Ed settled back in his seat and put an arm around her. The way he saw it, he had a choice - continue to pine after Oswald, or move on with whomever his admirer was - and it was most likely the lovely lady sitting next to him. 

It seemed like an easy one. 

So why did he feel like screaming?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, everyone. 🖤

"...so the zookeeper says, 'That's why they call it a hippocampus!'" Lee chuckled at her own joke as she removed her gloves. "Get it? Hippocampus?"

"Hilarious." Ed smirked and pulled off his own gloves with a snap. Terrible jokes aside, working in the lab with Lee was quite enjoyable. It was refreshing to talk to someone who appreciated a good brain dissection. "Although I don't know if a career in stand up comedy is in your future."

"C'mon, that was golden." They threw away their gloves and pulled off their scrubs, placing them in the laundry chute before heading to the cleaning station. "So, how's the history project going?"

"It's fine," Ed lied. He'd been too distracted the last couple of weeks to focus on school work. Even though he'd been on a few charming dates with Isabella, he still felt anxious. After dropping hints and plenty of opportunities for her to confess that she'd masterminded the hunt for riddles, she hadn't taken the bait. Either she was a very good liar or she wasn't his admirer. 

In the meantime, Oswald was ignoring him as usual. He came to class with his neck covered in hickeys and love bites, and glared at anyone who dared to stare at him. Butch Gilzean had become his defacto driver, shuttling him off campus after school every day. Jerome even picked him up a few times, leaning on the hood of his car (a purple, garish thing) and smoking while he waited for Oswald to emerge from class. He'd grin like a madman and toss his cigarette when Oswald approached, then the two of them would drive off without a care in the world.

It was enough to make Ed want to throw the entire student body down a flight of stairs.

"Ms. Thompson, Mr. Nygma." Professor Doyle strode in just as Ed and Lee were finishing washing up. "I trust you both used your time wisely?"

"Of course." Lee winked at Ed. "This guy knows his stuff."

Ed blushed a bit and adjusted his glasses. "Yes, well, the lab time is most beneficial."

Professor Doyle smiled. It was a rare sight, but Lee seemed to have that affect on people. Ed wondered what that was like, making people happy. He had no idea. "Good to hear it. If you two are ready, I can lock up for the evening."

"I'm ready." Lee nudged Ed. "How about you? Had enough of my brain jokes for one night?"

Ed was about to retort when the room suddenly plunged into total darkness. 

Lee gasped and reached for Ed's hand, giving it a careful squeeze. "What's happening?" she whispered. "I don't hear a storm outside."

"There has not been any chance of precipitation in recent forecasts." Ed cleared his throat, wondering if he could ask for his hand back. Briefly he wondered if Isabella would object to this sort of thing. He considered Lee a friend, and not a romantic prospect, but didn't know if his sort-of girlfriend would be keen on him holding hands with another woman. The whole idea of jealousy over something like that seemed rather ridiculous.

_**Oh, like you're okay with seeing all those bite marks on Oswald Cobblepot's neck, knowing that they're from that deranged clown and not you?** _

_Shut. Up._

"Strange," Professor Doyle whispered. "The school has a backup generator. The backup lights should come on immediately after a break in power."

"Well, the generator is clearly not operational," Ed snapped, reaching for his phone with his free hand. "I will call for..."

_"GOOD EVENING!"_

Lee yelped and Ed's jaw clenched. He knew that voice. 

_"Hello, science pals!"_ The loudspeaker shrieked with feedback as Jerome cackled. _"I so admire your dedication to higher learning. In fact, I've been inspired to do some research of my own. I've been wondering what could happen if I took a middle aged, overweight professor and put a little something-something in his coffee... something that would open his mind wiiiiide to all kinds of new possibilities. Then I wondered if I knew anyone who was good with chemicals, and hey, what do you know, I do! And whaddya know, I got a guy who's good with hypnotism too! Time for some fun!"_

Slowly the lights began to came back up as a sharp ticking sound played over the loudspeaker. Ed stared as Professor Doyle began to sway on his feet, his eyes wide.

"Professor?" Lee let go of Ed's hand and rushed forward to steady the older man. "Professor, please breathe slowly... we're going to call an ambulance."

"The tick tock of the clock," Professor Doyle mumbled, his eyes glassy and staring into space. "Tick tock, tick tock..." 

"Fascinating," Ed whispered.

"Ed! Help me with this!" Lee glared at him while the professor babbled and kept swaying. 

"What? Oh...sorry. Um, yeah, let me call an ambulance."

++++++++

Money and fear. It was truly remarkable, what those two things could make people do. For instance, bribing the school janitor gave one access to doors that would normally be closed, and Oswald's growing reputation as a violent, chaotic leader gave him sway over most of the campus police. Well, the ones that mattered, anyway.

Oswald smirked to himself as he walked down the hallway of the science wing, clutching his new cane tightly. He'd bought it for himself after a few rough intimate encounters with Jerome had exacerbated his leg. 

Guilt tightened his stomach, but Oswald clenched his jaw and kept walking. Ed had definitely noticed the markings Jerome had left on Oswald's neck, and every time Oswald saw him scowl at the sight, his heart leapt. Seeing those dark eyes flash with irritation at him was quite the sight. What Oswald wouldn't give to see those eyes stare down at him while Ed slid those gorgeous hands all over - 

_Stop. This is foolishness._

Oswald huffed at himself. He was hopeless. Even now, with Ed dating that Isabelle girl and his own entanglement with Jerome, Oswald had made sure that the tweaks to the map unveiling were in place. He'd worked too damn hard on the riddle project, or "Enigma" as he was calling it (a fun play on Edward's name), to cancel the next big step. But this time, he'd be more careful; he was going to be sure to get Ed's reaction to the next clue. If he wasn't interested, Oswald would find a way to derail the whole thing, and continue his... association with Jerome. It was madness, but it was better than being lonely. 

At least that's what he kept telling himself. 

It was callous, he knew, but as Oswald slept in tattered sheets in a bed that wasn't his, he wanted to roll over and bury his face in dark hair. He wanted to reach for a man that embodied grace and darkness. He wanted beauty, and an elegant sort of madness. 

God help him, he wanted Edward Nygma. The longing didn't fade with time; in fact, every day he saw Ed in class and felt his heated glare was a sublime torture. 

Oswald had to try again. He had to give the next clue. If Ed showed any sort of interest, anything that gave Oswald any bit of hope that he could continue as his admirer, then...well. Then some changes would have to be made. Starting with that damned girlfriend of his. 

Oswald slipped into Professor Doyle's lab with the key he'd been given by the janitor, and smiled to himself as he looked around. This was indeed a treasure trove of wondrous chemicals, some of which would do nicely in building several explosives. Oswald found the back door and unlocked it, then pulled out his phone to send a text message to two of his most recent contacts.

A few moments later, Butch Gilzean walked through the back door with Victor Zsasz, a student who used to do the dirty work for the Falcones until Oswald managed to recruit him. He gave Oswald a charming grin as he entered, looking around the lab like a kid in a candy store.

"Gentlemen," Oswald greeted them with a smile. "I do believe we'll find just what we need right here."

++++++++

"It's so horrible." Lee shuddered and pulled her jacket tighter. "Why would Jerome do this?"

Ed watched the campus police scour Professor Doyle's office and suppressed a shrug. He'd wanted to assist with looking for evidence, but they'd warned him to stay away. Also, the lab would be off limits for the rest of the month, so his project would be stalled. 

The entire thing would be irritating if it wasn't so intriguing. Why indeed would Jerome target Professor Doyle? Granted, Jerome wasn't much for logic, but this seemed very well planned. 

_**Find that ginger clown and make him tell you. And while you're at it, tell him to keep his hands off Penguin.** _

"Shut the fuck up," Ed hissed.

Lee flinched. "What did you just say?"

"Oh. Um, I...should have shut the front door. Locked the lab door, I mean. Locked it."

"What? No, Ed, this wasn't your fault." Lee shuddered again. "I wonder if Jerome was sending us a message?"

"Why would he do that? And what sort of message?"

Before Lee could respond, Jim came jogging up the hallway with Harvey. "Hey, we made it." He pulled Lee into a hug and nodded at Ed. "You two okay?"

Lee nodded. "We're fine. Professor Doyle..."

"He'll be fine," Jim assured her.

Ed sniffed. "Assuming that the damage inflicted by the neurotoxins is reversible."

"Be positive," Jim growled, nodding at his distraught girlfriend. 

Harvey paced in front of them. "I'm telling you, Jim, that Valeska freak has to be dealt with."

"Campus police will handle this," Jim insisted. 

"Like how? Jerome always has an alibi. Plus Dean Loeb doesn't give a shit. We're on our own here!" Harvey stopped pacing and glared at his friend. "It's time we took matters in our own hands."

Lee sighed. "Harvey..."

"I'm serious! I say we teach that nutjob a lesson. Him and that other freak, that boyfriend of his...Oswald Cobblepot. God knows that Penguin could benefit from getting smacked around."

Ed was on his feet before he knew it, standing directly in front of Harvey and staring him down. _"No."_

Everything stopped. Harvey opened his mouth, but didn't make a sound. His eyes widened, and to Ed's utter delight, shone with just a bit of fear. 

"...Ed?" Jim stepped up next to him, his voice soft and cautious. "Hey... everything's okay."

Ed narrowed his eyes at Harvey. "You will not do anything to Oswald. Do you hear me?" 

"Whoa." Jim put a careful hand on Ed's shoulder. "Why don't we..."

_"Don't fucking touch me!"_

Jim jumped back, and Harvey seemed to pale a little. A couple members of the campus police turned and gave Ed a searching stare.

Ed managed to unclench his fists and breathed in deeply. Everything in him screamed at him to slam Harvey's skull into the wall, but he was able to suppress his rage. He was in complete control. 

_**But for how long? C'mon, you know you want to let me have some fun...** _

"I'm leaving," Ed announced, and turned on his heel to stride out of the building.

++++++++

"Whatcha up to?"

Oswald scoffed. "I told you, it's part of my plan. Hand me that wire, will you?"

Jerome grunted as he shifted around on the bed and tossed the wire in Oswald's general direction. Luckily it landed on the desk, right in front of Oswald. "Thought you got some lackeys to do this for you," Jerome muttered, grabbing at a pack of cigarettes on the nightstand.

"This part is too important to trust to anybody else." Oswald grabbed a pair of pliers and smiled. He was almost there, just a few tweaks, and...

"This about your _valentine_?" Jerome's voice dripped of sarcasm. 

Oswald clenched his jaw. "I told you. That's all in the past."

"Mmm? How come you won't tell me their name?" Jerome flicked his lighter as he got up to stand over Oswald, watching him work. 

"Will you be careful? The desk is covered in explosive material." Oswald glared up at the other man. "And like I said, that was in the past. Relax."

"Oh, I'm plenty relaxed." Jerome chuckled and ran his fingers over the back of Oswald's neck. "Gotta say, Pengy, seeing you work is getting me riled up."

"Everything gets you riled up." Oswald frowned as he adjusted the wire. Just a few more turns... "There!"

Jerome leaned forward, resting his hands on Oswald's shoulders and giggling as he looked over the device. "Ooh! It's got a blinking light and everything!"

"Glad you approve." Oswald chuckled. "Give me food, and I will live. Give me water, and I will die. What am I?"

A chilled silence filled the room. Jerome's hands traveled down Oswald's arms and he leaned close to whisper in his ear. "That doesn't sound like a _joke_."

"It's not." Oswald cleared his throat. "It's a riddle."

"Hmm." Jerome suddenly sunk his teeth into Oswald's shoulder. Oswald's back arched and he gasped as Jerome reached between his legs and began stroking him. "Well, if you don't feel like telling jokes, I got a few other ideas on how to keep you busy..."

"A success, I must confess! Professor Doyle is in distress!"

Jerome sighed and gave Oswald a few tender pats. "Sorry, Ozzie, but it looks like we've got company. Gotta see about getting locks for the door...I'll add it to the to-do list." 

Jervis and Jonathan entered, immediately eyeing the contraption that Oswald built. "It appears to be ready," Jonathan noted.

"It is." Oswald adjusted himself, his face burning. Being with Jerome was starting to make him feel like a piece of meat. "I trust Professor Doyle will be out of commission for a while?"

"No man can escape the ticking of the clock." Jervis grinned.

Oswald stared at him. "I'm assuming that means 'Yes'."

"Of course our actions were a success! If you doubt us, I do protest!"

"No need." Oswald smiled and turned back to his device. Everything was coming along beautifully.

++++++++

Ed wasn't invited to the next study group session, or the one after that.

It was something of a relief, but it made things between him and Lee rather tense. She still smiled at him in history class, but it was a strained smile, so unlike her usual friendly grin. Jim looked at him carefully, like he was a puzzle Jim was meant to solve, and Harvey outright glared at him.

Isabella was the only one who showed any sort of kindness, and this only amplified his loneliness. 

It was why he got carried away on their study session/date the night before the parade. 

Isabella straddled him, whimpering as he let his hands roam over her soft curves. Their kiss deepened, and Ed's fingers found their way under her shirt when she gasped and pulled away. 

"Sorry." He pulled away and tried to breathe normally. "I apologize, that was inappropriate."

"No, you're fine..."

"I should have asked first."

"It's okay." Isabella cleared her throat and awkwardly moved off him to sit next to him on his bed. "I just...it's been a while since I've been with someone."

Ed shifted around on the bed and grabbed a pillow to place on his lap. "It's quite all right."

A heavy silence descended over them, and after a moment Isabella cleared her throat again. "Well. Maybe we should...consider a date. A formal one, maybe in a better setting? Like...a suite at the Wayne Hotel?"

Ed's stomach clenched in what felt like a combination of excitement and dread. "Perhaps that would be best."

She smiled and kissed Ed's cheek, making him blush. "Thank you for understanding."

"Of course." He smiled at her, hoping he didn't look too relieved. Had they gone any further, he might not have been able to mask his regret. Isabella was lovely, and sweet, but Ed craved darkness, danger...and a more masculine touch. He lay awake at night thinking of a sharp profile, dark hair and light eyes, and a smile that always set his pulse racing. 

He wanted Oswald Cobblepot.

"Well. I should be going." Isabella stood and picked up her bookbag. "So we'll meet at the parade tomorrow? By the library?" 

Ed nodded. "Noon sharp."

"Great." She leaned down to kiss his cheek and patted his head. "I'll see you then."

Ed watched her leave, then fell back on his bed with a sigh. 

_**Daydreaming of another guy while your girlfriend is on your lap. That's classic you, isn't it? Loser.** _

"Don't."

_**You're still hard. Too bad Penguin's probably getting fucked by that joker as we speak. Probably loving it too. You need to claim him...take what's ours.** _

"Stop it."

_**I'll bet he's loud in bed. Bet he loves to tell you how everything feels. I'll bet he *begs*. Too bad you'll never find out.** _

Ed grasped at his head and clenched his eyes shut, fighting off tears while his inner voice laughed.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the most hideous thing Oswald had ever seen. 

Gotham University's gymnasium was closed to the students, but he and his associates - Jerome, Butch, Victor, Jonathan and Jervis - were inside, rigging the parade floats. They were all repugnant, but the float "sponsored" by the sophomore class was a gaudy, hideous mess. Compromised of papier-mâché and fake flowers, it resembled a gigantic wedding cake that had been left to melt in the sun. 

Oswald was very much going to enjoy blowing it up.

He watched as Jervis and Jonathan tinkered with the football team's float and smirked. Each float had its own bomb, complete with surprises inside of them (inspiration from Jonathan, no less). Oswald would have told the younger man and credited him for the idea, but having a conversation with Jonathan Crane was not something he aspired to do.

"Still not sure why we can't have one big explosion," Jerome muttered as Oswald made a few adjustments on his smartwatch. The entire spectacle would take place remotely, as he would watch and control things from afar. Jerome had insisted on being close to the action, and was still sulking over the fact that Oswald wouldn't join him.

"I have a plan." 

"Mmm, but you won't share it," Jerome growled, stepping closer to loom over him. "Not a fan of secrets, Pengy."

"Well, I'm not a fan of you pestering me." Oswald glared at him, not bothering to hide the fury in his gaze.

Jerome returned his stare, then grinned. "Getting yourself all worked up, aren't you, Ozzie?"

Before Oswald could reply, Victor Zsasz sauntered in, flicking a switchblade. "Everything's set," he announced. "All the devices are in place."

"Perfect." Oswald smiled to himself until he felt fingernails digging into the back of his neck. "Ow! What in the fuck, Jerome?"

His pseudo boyfriend chuckled. "It's kinda hard to hold your attention, Pengy. You never did thank me for your gift."

Oswald closed his eyes, trying to calm himself before he started screaming. He'd put off opening the envelope given to him before the whole throwing a Molotov cocktail at Jim and Ed incident until his curiosity got the best of him. Jerome's "gift" was surveillance photos of Sofia Falcone sunning herself on a beach somewhere in Italy, along with map coordinates written on the back in red ink. "I'm supposed to thank you for those?"

Jerome leaned forward and breathed into his ear. "Just say the word, Ozzie. I'll make a call and that pretty little bitch is gone forever."

"I don't need or want that!"

"No?" 

"No! I don't even want to think about Sofia Falcone, let alone have you assassinate her!"

Jerome huffed. "You go through all the trouble of getting a nice present for a guy and what do you get? Nothing! No thank you, no nothing!"

"Boo fucking hoo." 

Jerome's grin faded. "You haven't been to my house in a while, Ozzie. What gives?"

"I'm busy." 

"You don't answer my texts, makes me a little... paranoid."

Oswald shrugged off the other man's touch and glowered at him. "You text me constantly! At all hours of the night! And you get pissed when I don't respond immediately!"

"You're mine," Jerome hissed. He stepped closer, his breath warming Oswald's face as he huffed. "Don't you ever forget that."

"Bullshit. You know what? I'm done going to your place. Get one of you freshman lackeys to get you off."

Rage flashed in the redhead's eyes. "You got some mouth on you, Pengy. Usually I like it, but not if you're gonna be rude."

Oswald tightened the grip on his cane. "You're not listening. I _said_..."

Jerome grabbed Oswald's shoulders and turned him so they were face to face, inches apart. "Tell me his name," he hissed. "I want to hear you say it. Your fucking valentine, the one you're doing this for."

Oswald stared right back at him, his teeth bared. "Let go of me. Now."

"Uh, guys?"

The two men slowly turned to see Butch standing in front of them with an awkward grimace. "Hey. Um, Jonathan and Jervis are fighting over the... medical supplies."

Both Jerome and Oswald sighed and slowly eased apart. "A man's job is never done," the redhead muttered, and stormed off to confront the other students. 

Oswald smoothed his shirt and tried to unclench his jaw. "Anything else?" he asked Butch tersely. 

"No." He eyed Oswald carefully. "Everything okay?"

++++++++

"Never better." Ed smiled politely and poked at his fruit salad.

Isabella studied him as she stirred her milkshake with her straw. "It's just that you seem distracted. Is it because of our...date tomorrow night?"

Ed skewered a blueberry with a fork and watched the juice run out of it. After their failed study session, Isabella had booked a room for them at the Wayne Hotel the night of the parade, which was tomorrow. They hadn't tried anything physical since then, and the idea of trying to perform was nerve racking. "I am...very much looking forward to it."

**_Liar. All you've been thinking about lately is how you'd like a night with Oswald instead._ **

_Don't._

**_You'd love that though, wouldn't you? Getting to put your hands all over him, seeing those gorgeous eyes look up at you, having him scream your name and claw at your back while you drive into him over, and over, and over..._ **

"Stop it!" Ed hissed, dragging his fork across his plate.

Isabella froze. "Stop what...?"

"Nothing. I...I'm nervous." Ed sat back, his stomach churning as a few other students in the cafeteria glanced at him. "Perhaps I'm feeling a bit ill."

_**Idiot.** _

"All right." Isabella reached for him, then seemed to think better of it and sat back. "I suppose you should go rest, then."

_**You're creeping her out. God, just let me take over. I'll get us Oswald, we'll have so much fun...** _

"No! I mean...yes. That would be best." Ed stood up and grabbed his bag, trying to avoid Isabella's weighted gaze. "I'll call you tonight."

"Of course. You still have to interview me for your class, remember?"

"Ah, yes." 

"...Edward?"

Ed paused and looked at his girlfriend, his heart sinking when he saw the pity in her eyes. 

_**She could never understand you. You'll always be a freak to her...and everyone else.** _

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Isabella said softly.

"I will." Ed managed a smile. "I'll be fine."

++++++++

"No, you won't."

Victor tilted his head, giving Oswald a searching look. "Oh no?"

"No!" Oswald punched the wall of his apartment. He'd moved off campus last week, tired of his old dorm (too many bad memories) and staying at the Valeska house (too much Jerome). The new place already felt like home, like a sanctuary. Plenty of security, thick walls, lots of space, close to campus and downtown. He'd had Butch and Victor help him move with the help of a few fawning freshmen, and he even got a few of them to unpack and clean his things. 

Having Butch as an associate again made things tense, but Oswald knew how to handle him. It helped that Butch considered him a complete psychopath and didn't seem keen on thinking for himself. It was good to have someone around to crack skulls when necessary. 

Victor, however, was incredibly violent, and loved an excuse to cause pain. He was far more charismatic than Butch (and was definitely attractive), but was also easily bored and kept bringing up the idea of traveling to Italy to "take Sofia out". Clearly Jerome had planted the idea in his head and Victor was intrigued. It was annoying to say the least. "I don't want you to travel to Italy. I told Jerome already, I don't want her killed. I don't even want to even think about her!"

"Fine." Victor rolled his eyes and put away his phone. "Ruin a guy's fun."

"Yeah, that's me." Oswald rubbed his leg and winced. What he needed was a long warm bath and a few sips of whiskey, not debating murder with a bloodthirsty nutjob. He'd managed to leave the gymnasium before Jerome could notice, and the relief that he felt was palpable. 

Jerome wasn't going to take getting dumped lightly, but Oswald was done caring. The sex had been good, but even that seemed to run its course. Lust could only go so far, and Oswald hated feeling like one of Jerome's possessions. He'd chalked it up to neediness at first, but Jerome wanted to know where he was at all times and threw fits when Oswald wasn't focusing all his attention on him. Being with Jerome only made Oswald feel incredibly lonely, and he was done with it. 

They weren't meant for each other, and there was a sort of relief that came with that realization, one that Oswald couldn't ignore anymore. 

In the meantime, Oswald watched Ed Nygma from afar. Ed looked to be unhappy as well, spending time with his girlfriend but seeming distracted. He muttered to himself in class a few times, which was adorable, and he occasionally would glance over in Oswald's direction and give him a searching look, like Oswald was a mystery that Ed wanted to solve. 

He ached for that gaze. He wanted to be a source of curiosity and intrigue to someone that wanted him for him, not just a person to be dominated. 

But Oswald had to be patient. First he needed to know if Ed still wanted to discover his admirer's identity. "Everything is set for tomorrow, I presume?"

"Yup." Victor smirked. "Jerome keeps asking me to find out what you have planned for the map."

Oswald sighed. "Tell him he'll find out with everyone else."

"Sure thing." Victor grinned. "You can tell me though, right?"

"I could, but I won't." Oswald chuckled at Victor's scowl. "Don't get too worked up about it. It's not going to be as grandiose as the parade."

Victor pouted. "Can I at least help with setting it on fire?" 

Oswald rolled his eyes. "For God's sake..."

"Fine, fine." Victor held his hands up and backed out of the apartment. "Just let me know if you need more bombs or whatever."

++++++++

"Everything is fine." It had become Ed's mantra, one he didn't necessarily believe in, but he felt untethered. The only true happiness he had was from reading the riddles from the fortunes his admirer gave him on Valentine's Day. Isabella seemed more and more unsatisfied with him, trying to suggest that he become more social. She kept asking for him to "make nice" with Harvey until Ed relented and agreed to join a virtual study group that Jim was hosting.

Lee had reached out, texting Ed the link and asking how he was feeling. It seemed like Ed's acquaintances were divided in two camps - concern over Ed's obvious anxiety, or disgust over his mental problems and odd behavior. Jim and Lee were in the first group, but everyone else was firmly in the second one. 

His inner voice was getting harder to ignore. All his thoughts were of Oswald or revenge. He was having trouble sleeping, and studying was almost impossible.

Ed took a deep breath. The video feed was going to start soon. He needed to get a grip. 

The GU conferencing app opened on Ed's computer, and a grid of windows popped up on the screen. In the center, Jim and Lee waved at the monitor. "Hey everyone!" 

Harvey and all the other students waved while Ed sipped at his coffee. He could do this. He could be social. He could be normal.

His inner voice only chuckled. 

"Does anyone know if they're gonna serve alcohol at the parade tomorrow?" Harvey asked, chugging a beer. 

Ed couldn't help rolling his eyes. "For God's sake..."

"What was that?" The senior leaned closer to his camera. "Got something to say, Nygma?"

"Harvey..." Jim warned.

"No, let the man talk." Harvey gestured at the screen. "You got a problem, Riddle Guy?"

Ed threw back his head and laughed, a dark sinister sound that was unfamiliar even to him. It was the same laugh he'd heard inside his head for years, actually coming out of him. 

Everyone in the group chat froze or exchanged glances. Ed smirked at their discomfort and made a few clicks, giving the illusion that he left the chat, but kept the audio on. 

"Jesus." That was Jim. "Guys, I'm worried about Ed. He seems... unwell."

"You mean crazy?" Harvey scoffed. "He's a nutjob. And I think he's in cahoots with Penguin. You saw how he was when I mentioned his name."

"What's with that guy, anyway?" Someone asked. "Penguin, I mean. I just transferred here and I keep hearing about something that happened with him and Sofia Falcone but I don't know the details."

Harvey chuckled. "Oh, that. Now that's a story, Paula." 

"C'mon, Harvey," Lee protested. "Let's not discuss it."

"Penguin had a crush on Jim, it was really pathetic," Harvey said, ignoring her. "Then he realized that Jim loves the ladies, and he started hanging out with Sofia, who was stringing Jim along at the time. Anyway, she invited Penguin to her place and I guess she tried to get him to give her family a spot on the school board or something, and was very... persuasive."

"Harvey, stop..."

"She gave him a foot rub and was going to rub something else of his, but before she could Oswald got so excited that he came in his pants. And he had to do the walk of shame out of her apartment with his pants all soaked, and she'd sent out a group text to the entire student body to let them know, so people were outside waiting for him and yeah, it was interesting." Harvey snickered. 

"That's awful," Paula breathed. "But I thought Oswald was gay? He's dating that Jerome guy."

"Maybe he goes both ways, or hadn't had a foot rub in a while?" Harvey guessed. "Who knows, but it's pretty funny."

Ed turned off the audio, his teeth clenched so hard that his jaw hurt. People like Harvey Bullock had no idea what humiliation was like. They didn't know the feeling of people quieting down when they saw you enter a room. They didn't long for someone to understand them. They didn't know true loneliness. 

They needed to pay.


	7. Chapter 7

_God, why am I here? This is a mistake._

_**Can't handle being around normal people, can you? Loser.** _

_Don't. Not now. Not ever, actually._

His inner voice just chuckled.

The sounds and the proximity of the crowd were making Ed's skin crawl. He'd practically had to elbow his way past throngs of students too busy eating pretzels and cotton candy to notice anyone around them, and he'd already been yelled at several times for being tall.

Students and faculty alike were decked in various shades of green, wearing top hats, suspenders, and fake orange beards. Some of the upperclassmen were sporting fashionable bowler hats and green coats, which were much more suited to Ed's taste. 

"Top of the morning to you!" A student dressed as a leprechaun shouted in Ed's ear, and the next thing he knew, someone tossed a green bowler hat onto his head. He stopped in shock, ready to take it off on principle alone, but Isabella leaned up and patted the top of it. 

"It looks so good on you!" she squealed. "Keep it on, Eddie, I love it."

"Eddie?" he mumbled, his heart sinking. "Oh god. Please do not call me Eddie. Anything but that. I do not -"

"Let's keep going! If we go up by the courthouse steps, we can get a better view of the parade." Isabella's grip on his hand tightened as she lead them further away from the crowd. Ed gritted his teeth and followed, eager to get away from everyone. Plus, his admirer was surely setting something up for his next clue for the map unveiling. He could tolerate the parade until then. 

Someone out there was in love with his intellect, his awkwardness, his smile, and he owed it to them and himself to find out who that was. Ed decided that after the unveiling, he would flat out ask Isabella if she was the one sending messages. If not, he'd let her go. It was only right. 

The drums and bagpipes started up, signaling the beginning of the parade. The alumni float was first, decked in Gotham University's class colors of black and purple. The crowd oohed and ahhed, snapping pictures and selfies.

Ed sighed and adjusted his new hat. This would be all over soon.

++++++++

The floats began serpentining through the streets, following the specific guidelines that Oswald had given to his followers. A few detours made it all perfect, and soon, the parade would become a lot more interesting.

"Just so I'm clear, nobody's actually getting blown up today?"

Oswald rolled his eyes. "No, Victor. Just the floats."

"Aww." 

"I don't need to blow anybody up!"

Victor waved his hands around. "But it would be soooo cool."

"First of all, Victor, the faculty hasn't allowed anyone on parade floats since Sal Marino tried to shove Carmine Falcone off the alumni float three years ago. Second, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Victor just smiled. "I'm creative."

"Not the word I'd use." Oswald raised his binoculars. "What time is it?"

Victor checked his watch. "Twelve thirty, boss."

"And everything is in place, ready for my signal?"

"Yup."

Oswald beamed. "Excellent." As romantic gestures went, this was going to be one for the ages. He just hoped Ed would appreciate it. Once everything was in place, the explosions would go off, giving a clear signal to the man he was absolutely crazy about. Plus, the floats were filled with green paint and pieces of anatomical heart models from Professor Doyle's lab - something Oswald thought was a sweet addition, and he hoped Ed would agree. 

Only one way to find out. 

"Okay, send the signal to set off the first bomb in three, two..."

"Uh, boss?" 

Oswald was about to snap at Victor when he noticed a certain redhead bounding into the streets. 

"I think it's...yup, it's Valeska." Victor lowered his binoculars and pulled out a pistol. "He is so predictable."

"Holy...you have a gun?" 

"A flare gun!" Victor brandished it with a grin. "Twelve gauge, shoots up to five hundred feet...oh, look at him go."

"What the fuck is going on? What is he doing?" Oswald shouted as he watched Jerome climb on top of the sophomore class's float. 

Victor hummed. "It appears he's going to tamper with the bombs."

Oswald flailed like an inflatable balloon man. "I swear to FUCK, if he fucks this up for me, I will scalp him and wear the top of his head as a fucking hat!" 

"Want me to take him out?" Victor asked hopefully.

"YES! Yes! Light that soulless ginger up!" Oswald flipped off his ex boyfriend while Victor aimed his gun. "You're a lousy fucking lay, Jerome Valeska! You rarely lasted longer than five minutes!"

"Doubt he can hear you, boss," Victor noted. "Plus, TMI."

"Just fucking shoot him!"

++++++++

_  
**This is boring. Let me take over, I'll make this a real party.**  
_

_Stop. Now._

His inner voice scoffed. 

Isabella carefully aimed her phone at the parade, then paused. "Hmm. That's... interesting."

"What is?"

"Well...look at the floats. Is it just me or does that look like a shape?"

Ed frowned and looked closer, and when he saw it, he gasped.

The new route had the first float down Main Street, with the others lagging behind. They curved along the road in the clear shape of a question mark.

It was for him. Someone had actually structured the entire parade to let Ed know that he was loved. 

"It's them," he whispered, his heart pounding. "Oh my god. Yes. Yes! They did it!" Ed burst into sudden laughter. "They actually did it!" 

"They?" Isabella frowned. "Who...oh my god!" she screamed as the alumni float exploded in a spattering of green.

Ed got to his feet, grinning as the floats blew up, one by one, creating a green question mark in the streets.

"Hello, Lee...Lee! Can you hear me? Are you all okay down there?" Isabella shouted into her phone. "No, we're fine, we're by the courthouse...wait, hearts? Are you serious? Oh my god, that's disgusting...well, even if they're fake, that's still gross!"

"Be still my heart," Ed whispered, and turned to his girlfriend. "Did you do this?"

She stared back at him, her eyes widening even further. "Me? You think I had something to do with this?"

"Did you?" he pressed. 

Isabella's mouth curled in disgust. "Edward Nygma, are you serious? No! How could you..."

"That's what I thought." Ed took a deep breath. "Isabella, I'm breaking up with you." He tipped his new hat to her and smiled. "No hard feelings."

"What in the fuck?" she screamed, and Ed's inner voice laughed hysterically as he walked away.

++++++++

"A marvelous sight is this scene! Everything covered in festive green!" Jervis cheerfully snacked on popcorn as he watched the madness ensue around him. "Such fear is here!"

"Yes...if I could manufacture this sort of horror in Doyle's lab, I would be frightfully pleased." Jonathan thoughtfully chewed on a pretzel as the screaming crowd ran past him. "I am loathe to admit it, but Mr. Penguin did make this event wickedly enjoyable."

"Agreed, my colleague." Jervis took a sip of his soda and stared into the distance at the last float. "Do my eyes deceive me?"

Jonathan looked at where Jervis was pointing and saw a familiar figure climb onto the sophomore class's float. "It appears our one time associate Mr. Valeska is about to be blown up."

"Oh! That would be quite the sight!" Jervis squinted at Jerome and tsked. "He is attempting to steal the bomb - what aplomb!"

"Dreadfully jealous, Mr. Valeska seems to be."

"Yes, indeed."

"Get down!" Jim dragged people away from the floats, trying to shield them from the falling debris. He turned to Jervis and Jonathan in shock. "Don't just stand there! Fucking help people!"

They stared back at him, defiantly chewing their snacks.

"Are you two completely insane?" Jim shouted. "You're actually enjoying this?"

"Holy shit, Jim, look!" Harvey pointed at Jerome, who was now running toward the Historical Society Center, carrying a blinking device and laughing like mad. Above him, a purple burst of light followed him, nearly missing him and instead striking the float. The entire thing went up in flames in seconds. 

"He's going to blow up the map of Gotham! We have to stop him!" Jim ran after Jerome, followed closely by a cursing Harvey as Jervis and Jonathan watched with mild interest. 

"Hell hath no fury like a man scorned," Jonathan noted, and slurped on his cherry slushy.

Jervis nodded. "Stated plain, Mr. Crane."

++++++++

"No." Ed watched as Jerome Valeska ran like mad to the historical society building. He watched as Jim and Harvey trailed behind, too late to stop him.

_He's going to destroy the map. Oh god. No..._

Ed had to do something. Run, scream, distract that maniac from severing the possible identity of the person who'd made Ed feel like he was worth something. 

But he couldn't. He was too far away, and Jerome was running like mad. Ed could only watch. 

Jerome ran inside the building, only to escape out the back, laughing hysterically the entire time. Harvey just barely stopped Jim from following him. The two men took shelter behind the nearby post office, and waited for the inevitable blast. 

"Please, no..."

_BOOM._

Ed watched the windows of the historical society building smash, smoke rising from the shattered glass as the inside glowed from the fire.

The map was undoubtedly destroyed. His admirer's hard work, and the next clue, was gone forever.

Or...was Jerome behind the whole thing? Was this actually a joke at his expense? He probably knew how Ed felt about Oswald, and Jerome had made it clear his possessive he was. All this marks on Oswald, the way Jerome put his hands on him that day in front of his house...maybe this was Jerome's way of toying with Ed, leading him on only to tell him to back off his man.

Either way, it seemed like all of this was over now. The riddles, the love notes...over. 

Ed's inner voice was uncharacteristically silent as he trudged back to his dorm room, carefully weaving through the crowd to get away as soon as possible. Jim and Harvey were helping campus police get people to safety, and Lee and a few other medical students were checking on stunned students and faculty that were covered in green paint.

Somehow Ed made it to his building without any of them spotting him. Once he got to his room, he set his hat on the nightstand and collapsed onto his bed. Ed stared numbly at the window, watching the sun slowly set as he tried to process what had happened. 

Even if Jerome hadn't created the whole thing as a cruel joke, the clue for the next riddle was destroyed. Who knows if they'd work out a replacement, or if they'd even bother? Everyone on campus knew about him and Isabella. It was possible they'd just give up on the whole thing after seeing the map destroyed.

Was it too late to dare to hope?

A knock at his door made Ed jump, and look around in shock. It was later than he realized - the sun was setting. He'd been laying in bed for hours. 

He carefully got up, stretching on his way to the door. "Who is it?" Ed called out, squinting into the peephole.

"Delivery for Mr. Ed Nygma."

Ed frowned. "I didn't order anything. Who sent it?"

"Not sure. But it's from the historical society, and the sender was pretty, uh, clear that you were to get this after the parade." The clearly distressed young man widened his eyes at Ed's door. "Please open up?"

His traitorous heart pounding, Ed unlocked his door and swung it open, staring down at the other student, who merely thrust a package at him. "Here. It's for you."

Ed took the package, holding it up to his ear. No ticking. "What's inside?" he demanded. 

"I have no idea! But I delivered it just like they said I had to, so now I can go!" The student turned to leave, then whirled around. "And I'm supposed to tell you that April Fool's Day is no joke!" With that, he turned and ran off. 

"Holy shit." Ed closed and locked the door after him, setting the package down on the floor. After staring at it for a few seconds, he hurried to his nightstand and grabbed his switchblade. His hands shook as he slid the blade through the tape, but he managed not to cut himself in the process. 

Finally he was able to pry the folds open, peeling back layers of tissue paper, until...

_Oh god._

A folded map, clearly of Gotham, rested inside the box. On top of it was a green envelope with a black question mark on it.

A relieved sob escaped him, and Ed brought his hand to his mouth, his eyes welling with tears. It wasn't over. They had found a way. 

Ed was not alone. Someone loved him.

"Get a grip," he whispered to himself, and laughed as he sniffed and opened the envelope. The letter inside was brief and direct:

_My dearest Edward:_

_I had to take the precaution of securing the actual map once I realized that it might be in danger from... outside sources. I do hope you enjoyed the parade._

_In a few weeks is April Fool's Day, a ridiculous "holiday" that I normally despise, but I will use it as my opportunity to finally show you who I am. I am a fool for love, it seems. And I do love you, Edward Nygma._

"I love you too," Ed whispered.

_The map indeed holds the next and last clue. But look quickly, as it will fade in time._

Ed quickly and carefully pulled out the map, unfolding it and smoothing it out over the floor. Once the map was completely unravelled, practically covering his entire dorm room, he studied it carefully, but nothing seemed unusual about it. He lifted the corner, peeking underneath it, but did not see anything of note.

He was about to lose his temper when he noticed another piece of paper at the bottom of the box. Ed quickly snatched it up, and frowned at the poem written in careful calligraphy. 

Down below the shining moon  
Around the trees, a sacred gloom  
Running with the midnight sky  
Knowing the thing that makes you cry  
Night is full with my essence  
Eternal light betrays my presence  
Soaring through my endless task  
Shadows are my faithful mask

"Down below...around the trees..." Ed gasped. "It's an acrostic!" He traced the first letter of each sentence - _darkness_. That was the clue. 

Ed wasted no time. He shut all the blinds, closed the curtains, and used the flashlight function on his phone to get back to the map. After setting the phone down on the floor as a makeshift lamp, he switched off the flashlight and nearly shouted in glee at the now clearly visible words that glowed up at him.

__  
I have a heart that never beats, I have a home but I never sleep. I can take a man's house and build another's, and I love to play games with my many brothers. I am a king among fools. Who am I?  


"Oh god. Um, heart, it's not a literal heart, and building a house...again, not literal. What's not a literal house? A house of cards...king among fools...games with my many brothers...it's a card! A king...King of Hearts!" 

Ed laughed in the darkness. He had no idea what would happen in fifteen days, but he was ready.


	8. Chapter 8

"So..."

Oswald looked up at Victor, who was fiddling with his switchblade. The man seemed uncharacteristically nervous. "Yes?"

"I'm, uh, sorry I didn't take out Jerome earlier. Bastard was too fast." Victor grunted. "Not like me to miss."

"It's fine." Oswald sipped at his wine, closing his eyes as he settled back into his leather chair. "Everything mostly went as planned. Jerome is indeed predictable, so I had an alternative plan in place."

"Really? Because you were panicked as shit during the parade."

Oswald's eyes snapped open. "I was not panicked, I was _pissed off_ at that ginger clown fucking with everything!" 

"Alrighty." Victor put away his blade. "You good for tonight then?" 

"Indeed." Oswald swirled his wine around. "You've been quite helpful, Victor. Indispensable, really. In fact, I invited you here tonight because I wanted to express my gratitude." He set his wine glass down and headed into the bedroom. 

"Um." Victor coughed. "Um, boss, I don't know if it would be a good idea for us to fool around if we're going to work together. I've done it before, and things get...complex."

"What?" Oswald sneered at him. "No! I'm not asking you to...god!" He huffed and hurried into the bedroom, emerging a few moments later with a long box. "Here. It's an actual gift, you deranged jerk!"

"Oooh!" Victor eagerly took the box, tearing into it with unabashed glee. Oswald watched as his pristine floor was soon covered in packing peanuts and wrapping paper. _Great._

"Holy shit!" Victor pulled out a custom obsidian katana with a wooden handle. He tilted it in the light, grinning at the sight of his name carved on the blade. "Oswald, this is amazing!"

"Glad you like it." Oswald pointed. "It comes with a strap so you can carry it on your back."

"Fuck, that's cool. And here I was thinking you were going to try to blow me!"

Oswald groaned. "For God's sake..."

"Hell, after this I'm game. You wanna fool around? I'm all revved up now. Sharp things get me going."

Oswald held his hand up. "I'm good, thanks. Perhaps one of the freshmen will be more receptive?"

"Good idea. Thanks again, boss!" Victor grinned at him, then quickly left, to Oswald's immense relief.

"Well. That got weird." Oswald finished his wine and stared balefully at the mess Victor had left. He picked up his phone, sent a group text, and in moments several freshman hurried in to clean up his apartment. 

"Good evening, sir." They kept their heads down as Oswald sat back in his chair and watched them set up his dining room. He grinned, basking in their fear and adoration. He was used to having people do things for him, but corralling a group of underclassmen to be at his beck and call was nothing short of delightful. Jerome had his followers, but now, so did Oswald. A few of them even gave him lustful glances, which made him preen a bit. Nothing wrong with being admired. 

If only Ed could look at him like that...

One of the girls from his Hungarian Studies & Humanities class readied his dinner - Hungarian mushroom soup with crusty artisan bread, a fresh bottle of Pinot noir, and a plate of zserbo szelet in the fridge for dessert. "Everything is ready, sir."

"Outstanding." Oswald smirked to himself as he sat at the head of the table. It was good to be the kingpin. 

"Anything else, sir?" One of the underclassman asked eagerly when they finished, all of them standing and waiting to be dismissed.

"That will be all."

"We apologize for the time, sir," another one of them piped up. "We're one short...Brent left with Victor Zsasz right before you sent your message."

Oswald chuckled and waved his hand. "Everything is fine. Now leave me be."

They nodded and quickly filed out of his apartment. Oswald poured himself another glass of the wine and sipped it thoughtfully as he ruminated on his next move. 

This weekend, Victor would move into the apartment next to his as an added extra security measure. Jerome was obviously hell-bent on being an asshole, and his little display during the parade just proved how determined he was to fuck up everything for Oswald. Luckily, Oswald had anticipated Jerome's inevitable tampering with the map, so he'd had the original swapped with a very convincing fake. Still, it pissed him off to no end.

Plus, it was worrisome. What sort of antics would Jerome perform once Oswald revealed Ed Nygma as the object of his affection?

No, he couldn't worry about that now. First things first... April 1st was approaching, and Oswald had a lot of planning to do.

++++++++

Ed woke up on his floor with Gotham's historic map curled around him like a blanket. His stomach was growling and his phone was going absolutely insane.

He blearily got to his feet and shuffled to his phone, which was desperately in need of charging. He declined the incoming call (Unknown Number), plugged it in and set it on his bed, then wandered to the kitchen for a quick microwaved meal. 

After finishing an uninspired version of beef bolognese, Ed stared at his wall calendar and tried to think of how a deck of cards could be tied to April first. It was doubtful Ed would find a significant playing card in the Gotham Museum, or the library, or anywhere for that matter. Was the King of Hearts a reference to something else? Elvis Presley? Richard the Lionhearted? No, that was ridiculous...

Ed's phone buzzed and chimed with numerous missed messages and voicemails, nearly vibrating off the nightstand.

"Fine!" Ed stomped over to his phone and groaned when he saw that he had seven voicemails, nineteen text messages, and twenty-five missed calls. 

"Oh. God." The voicemails were mostly Isabella screaming at him, then crying, then screaming again. The last one was from the unknown number, with lots of heavy breathing. 

"Creep." Ed cleared the missed calls - most from Isabella, a few from Lee and Jim, the rest from the unknown number again. The texts were harder to go through - Isabella alternatively begged to talk to him and also called him a freak, Harvey straight up blamed him for the parade, Lee was concerned about his "behavior" and Jim was convinced Ed "knew something". Fun. 

His phone rang again, and Ed answered before he could fully think it through. He pressed the speaker button and sighed. "What?"

The caller exhaled into the phone, making Ed's stomach turn. 

"Hello?" 

More breathing, then low laughter. 

_**Fuck this guy. Let me talk to him.** _

_You know what? Fine. Have at it._

"Do you think you're funny?" Ed growled, and the laughter stopped. 

They listened to each other breathing, Ed and this mystery person, until Ed began laughing himself. 

"Here's a question for you...in fact, it's a riddle." Ed smirked when he heard a sharp intake of breath. "Oh, you don't like riddles? Well, this one is one of my favorites. 'They try to beat me, they try in vain. And when I win, I end the pain.'" Ed grinned. "Do you give up?"

Silence.

"It's death. Now fuck off, and never fucking call me again, joker." With that, Ed ended the call, waiting for his inner voice to say something, but there was nothing. 

_You're not going to gloat? Really?_

_Hello?_

_Where are you?_

_Cat got your tongue?_

_...Are you gone?_

No, that wasn't possible. His whole life, that inner voice had haunted him, encouraging him to do and say terrible things. Ed had always tried to ignore it, but it had gotten him nowhere. And now it was gone?

No. He felt... different. Confident, fearless, even a little dangerous. It was a powerful, sexy feeling. It was like he could just walk up to Oswald Cobblepot, shove him up against the nearest hard surface and run his tongue all over the man's neck. 

_Fuck._

He was just about to get up to go pay Oswald a visit at his dorm, but then he remembered hearing that he'd moved off campus. Ed wasn't sure where yet, but he'd find out. All in good time. 

In the meantime, there was the rush of knowing that he wasn't going to hold himself back anymore. The voice was gone, because it had been himself all along - his true self. He'd truly set himself free. 

Ed chuckled to himself and lay on his bed, grinning up at the ceiling. It was time Gotham University got to know the other side of Ed Nygma.

++++++++

Oswald's Strategic Management class began with an announcement from Dean Loeb, who addressed the students with his usual lack of charisma. "Due to the horrific events of yesterday's St. Patrick's Day parade, all remaining school events will be cancelled for the remainder of the year."

Oswald gripped his desk in fury. He was going to have to oust the useless buffoon. This was lunacy! It wasn't like anyone had died; no one had even been hurt. Just some green paint, and some literal broken hearts...so fucking what?

Jim glanced at him, much too knowingly for Oswald's liking. 

_Does he suspect...?_

_Nevermind that! If events are cancelled, then the whole planned reveal is fucked!_

_Unless..._

Oswald smirked to himself and sat back. He'd have to set up a meeting with Dean Loeb, and bring Victor. Butch too. It was time the dean saw things his way. 

After class, Oswald slowly gathered his books, knowing full well that Jim Gordon was going to approach him to ask questions. And sure enough...

"We need to talk."

Oswald slammed his hands on the desk, delighting in how this made Jim flinch. "James! What a pleasant surprise! We haven't spoken in quite some time. How's that Lee girl doing?"

"Cut the crap, Oswald. I'm thinking you had something to do with what happened yesterday."

"Now that is a bold statement. And your proof is...?"

Jim glared at him. "Instinct."

"Of course! So concrete." Oswald got up, ready to leave, but Jim blocked him. 

"I know you, Oswald," Jim hissed. "This is right up your alley. I don't know what your endgame is, but I'm going to find out."

Oswald returned his glare. "You might want to be more careful, Jim. Accusations without basis of proof are nothing short of hearsay. I am sure you do not want to be known for spreading lies." He shoved Jim aside and left the classroom in a huff. 

Where the hell did Jim get off, running his mouth like that? What, was he head of campus police now? What the hell was going through that thick skull of h-

Oswald collided painfully with a blur of black and green. "Ow! What the fuck?" He glared up at the offender only to stare in shock at a similarly stunned looking - but still utterly beautiful - Edward Nygma.

++++++++

"Oof! Fucker! Why don't you look where you're g...oh." Ed's brain sputtered to a halt when he adjusted his glasses to see who had bumped into him. "Um. Oswald. Cobblepot. Hello."

"Hello." Oswald felt his face burning and nearly groaned. Dammit, why couldn't he get a hold of himself? This was unbecoming! "I...I do apologize, it looks as though we've both dropped our bags."

"I'll get them, it's no problem."

"No, I should..." 

"Let me." Ed got on his knees, trying not to imagine himself in the same position in a very different setting. He gathered Oswald's items first, lifting the bag up to his crush and trying not to grin like an idiot. "Here."

Oswald took his bag and hoisted it on his shoulder. "Thanks," he said softly. 

"Of course." Ed stood up, placing his own bag on his shoulder. 

They stood together, staring at each other in silence until Jim Gordon loudly cleared his throat. "I want to talk to both of you. Now."

Oswald rolled his eyes while Ed glared at Jim. "I have nothing to say to you," Ed growled, and oh god, that low sexy tone had Oswald's pulse racing. 

"Well I've got something to say to you both." Jim approached them with a fiery gaze and clenched teeth. "I know you two are somehow involved with what happened at the parade, and dammit, I'm going to find out everything."

Oswald laughed bitterly. "Splendid work, Jim! Interrogate two innocent men while ignoring the obvious culprit - Jerome Valeska." Out of the corner of his eye, Oswald noticed Ed's eyes narrowing at his ex's name. 

"He's disappeared!" Jim snapped. "No one's seen him since he blew up the map."

"Well, I do not know where he is," Oswald huffed. "He and I are no longer an item."

Ed's heart soared at Oswald's admission, but he managed to keep a straight face. "Are you quite finished, Jim? This whole false accusations thing is boring the shit out of me." 

"Plus we both have classes to get to," Oswald snapped. "I have an exam in Neuroforecasting today."

"I have an exam as well, in my Advanced Linguistics class." Ed turned to Oswald, giving him his most seductive grin. "Shall we, Mr. Cobblepot?"

Oswald grinned, unable to help himself. "Absolutely, Mr. Nygma."

Jim yelled something as they walked away, but neither man bothered to listen. 

"Where is your class held?" Oswald asked Ed as he pulled out his phone and sent a text. 

"East wing, by the library. Yours?"

"Nearby. North wing. I'm getting us a ride." 

"A ride?" Ed looked up to see a golf cart pull up to them with two eager looking underclassmen in the front. 

"Good morning, Mr. Penguin! And Mr. Nygma as well...please do hop on."

_Impressive._ Ed climbed onto the back and held out his hand to Oswald. "Here. Let me help."

Normally Oswald would retort that he did not need any help, but Ed's hand was right there, and he was powerless to resist. He reached out, took Ed's hand, and nearly gasped at the jolt he felt when he touched Ed's skin for the first time. 

Ed seemed to be taken aback as well, but quickly recovered and gave Oswald a grin that was like a sunbeam in a dark room. "There you go," he murmured as Oswald settled next to him. 

"Thank you." Oswald quickly looked away before he could start blushing. He grabbed onto the railing to have something to ground him as they rode through the campus. Ed was _right there_. Oswald could smell his skin. He smelled like cedar and sandalwood, a dark woodsy musk that made Oswald feel a bit light-headed. 

"Thank you for the ride." Ed took advantage of Oswald looking away and sniffed at him. Oh, that was a delightful scent - a heady combination of water lotus and musk, with a note of tobacco leaves and citrus. Ed had to stop himself from burying his face in the other man's neck to fully breathe him in. 

Oswald turned to face Ed, looking up at him through his long lashes. "Anytime." 

Ed ran his tongue over his bottom lip. "So...Neuroforecasting. Sounds fascinating."

"Indeed, it is. Learning what your opponent might do before he does it is an indispensable skill. I'm learning to be three steps ahead instead of merely one."

Ed smirked and leaned close. "So, I suppose you can read people."

Oswald tightened his grip on the railing. "It's a skill I've always possessed, but I'm looking to perfect it. One can always improve one's arsenal."

"Agreed." Ed put his arm around the back of Oswald's seat. "So, can you tell me what I'm thinking right now?"

Oswald's lips parted. "I..."

"Come on." Ed lowered his gaze to the other man's lips. "Try me, Oswald."

"Well. I will confess, I'm not exactly a mind reader..."

"Mmm, but you can guess, right?" Ed chuckled, watching how the sound made the other man's eyes widen. "Tell me. What's on my mind, right now?"

"You...want something," Oswald breathed. 

Ed's grin could light up the darkest room. "Yes, I do," he purred, and leaned even closer. 

Suddenly the golf cart stopped and Ed grasped onto Oswald to keep from tumbling off, nearly ending up in his lap. "We're here, Mr. Nygma!" the oblivious driver noted cheerfully.

Ed gritted his teeth and looked up at Oswald, who was staring at him with an undecipherable expression. He cleared his throat and sat up, reaching for his bag. "Well. I should be going, I suppose..."

"Y-yes. Your exam..."

"My exam." Ed's face burned as he stepped off the cart. "Thank you again for the ride."

"Of course." Oswald smiled mirthlessly. 

Ed nodded and turned to leave. 

"Wait!"

"Yes?" Ed whirled around, his heart leaping. 

"I...should have your number. In case you need another ride." 

"Oh. Yes. That's a good idea."

Oswald turned and said something to the drivers, who nodded at his instructions. He then stepped off the cart and approached Ed, phone in hand. 

"Here, I'll just..."

"We can exchange phones, and..."

"Yes, that works. I'm um, entering this under Oswald..."

"Certainly. Here, mine is under Ed."

"Yes, that's perfect. Here you go..."

"Thank you."

"Thank _you_."

Both men grinned at each other for a few moments until Oswald cleared. "I, um, suppose you should get going. For your exam."

"I suppose so." Ed ran his tongue over his teeth. "I'll text you after class, if that's all right with you."

Oswald beamed. "I look forward to it."

"Good luck on your exam as well, Oswald." Ed grinned. "Though I doubt you'll need it." He winked, then turned to head into class.

Practically floating, Oswald headed back to the golf cart and with a soft sigh, sat down and held his bag close.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Your comments give me joy. 🖤

"Pencils down."

Professor Strange eyed the room as his students set their writing utensils aside, all except for his prize pupil - Oswald Cobblepot. The young man had finished his exam first, and spent the remainder of his time alternating between examining his nails and staring out the window. As the professor walked up and down the rows gathering the tests, he noticed Oswald retrieving his phone from his bag. Once he turned it on, he tapped his fingers impatiently on his leg, eager to have it operational again. 

_Interesting._ Strange knew his students to be rather obsessed with their phones, but Oswald never seemed terribly preoccupied with his before. Clearly there had been a new development in his social life. 

After the exams were collected, Strange stood at the front of the room and addressed his students. "Test scores will be ready at the end of the week. You may take your leave at this time. Except for Mr. Cobblepot...I would like a word with you before you go."

Oswald looked up in surprise, and slowly gathered his belongings as the other students filed out of the classroom. After he hurriedly put away his phone, he approached the professor at his desk. "Professor Strange..."

"Mr. Cobblepot. Oswald, if I may." The professor smiled and gestured to the stack of tests. "I noticed that you finished your exam quite early."

Oswald shrugged. "I read all the assigned material. I also conducted my own research."

"Excellent. And what, pray tell, sort of research have you been conducting?" 

Oswald smirked. "Fellow students. I'm learning how to study motivation as a precursor to behavior."

Strange raised his eyebrows. "I see."

"Mmm. For example, if a freshman wanted to, let's say, rise in the ranks of the student body due to an overwhelming need to impress his father, he might be willing to secure a motorized vehicle to shuttle an upperclassman to his classes. In exchange, the student would gain access to information about alumni and faculty that would secure his entry in coveted clubs and classes that are normally inaccessible to first year students."

"I see. Impressive, Oswald, most impressive."

The young man grinned and playfully shrugged. "I've been having a bit of fun," he confessed. 

Strange chuckled. "That is good to hear."

Oswald's phone buzzed and the young man's expression shuttered. He was clearly trying to hide his overwhelming desire to check his phone, but the anxiousness was causing his foot to tap erratically and his eyes to widen. 

Strange decided to take pity on him. "I will not keep you, Oswald. I have asked to speak with you because I am hoping to embark on a project that will require the input of students who I find to be promising. It is a study on mental prowess and ambition, and I'd be quite pleased and rather honored to publish the findings with your name as a collaborator."

Oswald stared in shock. "You...want to write a paper with me?"

Strange beamed. "Why, of course! You and a select other students, but I must confess, Oswald, that you are my first choice."

The young man turned slightly pink and smiled. "Well. I must say, I am quite flattered, Professor Strange. I accept!"

"Wonderful! And I must insist, Oswald...call me Hugo."

++++++++

_I trust that your exam was unchallenging to someone as clever as yourself?_

Ed sent the text with a smirk and headed back to his dorm. He didn't have another class until Wednesday, and had been planning to change his phone number on his day off until his encounter with Oswald Cobblepot changed everything. If he kept getting outraged texts from Jim and Isabella, however, he might change his number anyway, and let Oswald know as soon as possible. 

His phone buzzed with a notification of an incoming text, and Ed sat on a nearby bench to avoid walking into someone while he checked it. To his delight, it was from his crush. 

\- _You flatter me! It was indeed unchallenging. In fact, I got some good news from my professor after class._

Ed was about to reply when dots appeared on his screen, indicating an incoming text. 

\- _It's been a very good day, and being able to spend some time with you is definitely a factor. Maybe you're my good luck charm?_

Ed couldn't help but grin, and quickly typed a reply.

_You're so sweet. I'm interested in hearing about your good news, if you're able to give details. Maybe we can discuss it over dinner?_

After hitting send, Ed felt a thrill he'd never felt before. A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have had the courage to ask his crush to dinner. All his life, he'd been fighting his inner voice, deeming it "pushy", while in truth it was just...bolder. If Oswald accepted, he could even ask if he was the one behind the riddles.

Dots appeared, disappeared, then reappeared until a text came through. 

_\- I'd love that. Would you like to go somewhere, or we could meet at my apartment? I could make goulash, or have something else whipped up for us._

"Oh, Oswald." Ed chuckled. "Do you really think I'd pass up an opportunity to go to your place?"

_I'd be honored to go to your home, if you don't mind cooking. I'll bring wine._

\- _That would be fantastic. You're very generous, Edward Nygma._

_It's no problem at all._

_And I can be very, very generous._

++++++++

"Oh my god." Oswald read the last text from his crush several times as he headed up the elevator to his apartment. Ed Nygma was being _seductive_. It was a dizzying thought, to say the least.

Oswald entered his home, looking around with a discerning eye. He was already mostly unpacked, and the decor he'd chosen was tasteful yet bold. It was suitable for a guest, but Oswald wanted to make the best impression possible. 

Another buzz made Oswald quickly check his phone again, but his excitement faded when he saw that it was a text from an unknown number. 

**You blocked my number, Pengy. There's something I've gotta tell you. Play nice and call me! - J.**

"Oh my god!" Oswald fired off a scathing reply, and set his phone down on the kitchen counter. He did not have time for Jerome's bullshit; Oswald had to make dinner for the man he was crazy about. Luckily he already planned to make goulash for himself (he didn't trust anyone with his mother's recipe), and was thinking of indulging himself with something sweet for dessert. Now he had to get cracking, because he wanted to look sharp for when Ed arrived, and maybe change the sheets on his bed...just in case.

++++++++

Ed reread the latest text from Oswald, which was his address and an inquiry about any food allergies. After replying that he had none, he resumed looking over the wine selection in Victor Fries's basement. He'd gotten acquainted with the senior last year in Thermodynamics class, and had partnered with him for several lab studies. Victor was somewhat detached, with an aloof manner about him, but he was intelligent and resourceful as well. He was infamous for housing wine from his family's vineyard in his mansion's basement, and sold bottles to underage students at fair prices.

Selecting a wine was like a chess move. It had to be perfect, something bold but not too overpowering. Something with an intriguing or flirtatious name would be a bonus. 

After scouring what felt like endless labels, Ed noticed one with a black label, a Merlot called "Rogue's Gallery". It boasted warm, fruity notes with a hint of spices, which seemed perfect. 

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Ed looked up in surprise to see Kristen Kringle glaring at him.

"I'm buying wine," he replied slowly, as if speaking to a child. 

"For my cousin, as an apology for dumping her like a jackass?"

"Nope." Ed went to move past her, but she blocked him. 

"You're a real scumbag, you know that?"

"You need to move."

"No, you need to listen! You broke my cousin's heart! I tried to warn her about you, but she kept swearing that you were a different man. But no, you had to fucking dump her in public and you won't give her an explanation, and now you're here buying wine?"

"Pretty much." Ed brushed her aside and then turned. "You can tell her that I love someone else. It's not the end of the world. Also you can tell her to stop calling me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to get ready for." He smirked at her stunned expression, then headed upstairs to pay Victor.

++++++++

"Okay, okay, okay." Oswald took a deep breath. The goulash was simmering, the gerbeaud cake was cooling, and his bed was covered in fresh sheets. Now he just needed to take a quick shower and change, and he'd be ready.

He sent a quick text and hurried to the door, opening it as soon as Zsasz waved at the peephole.

"Hey chief." Victor strolled in and sniffed. "Damn, it smells good in here."

"I need you to watch my goulash," Oswald informed him.

Victor raised an eyebrow. "That a euphemism?"

Oswald rolled his eyes. "No. I need you to keep an eye on the stew while I take a shower."

"Sure, what are neighbors for? Can I have some?"

"No!"

Victor pouted. "C'mon, just a little. I'll tell you if it needs salt or whatever."

"Fine, fine." Oswald pointed at him. "But do not add anything! It's my mother's recipe, and it's perfect."

"Mmkay. Ohh, you made a cake too?"

"I'll save you a piece!" Oswald yelled, and hurried into the bedroom. He showered and changed in what seemed like record time, drying his hair and fixing it in what Victor called "disco vampire style". Whatever, Oswald figured, it looked awesome and he stared at his reflection nervously before heading back to the kitchen. 

"Looking sharp, boss." Victor gave him a wink and a thumbs up. "Also, the goulash is delicious."

"My mother was an excellent cook." Oswald's heart tightened a bit at the memory of her, but he shook it off. "Thank you for your help."

Victor chuckled. "I don't think I've ever seen you so..."

"Nervous?"

"I was going to say agreeable, but yeah, nervous too. Who's the lucky dude?"

Oswald grinned. "Edward Nygma," he sighed.

"Oh! I know that guy. Tall, glasses, likes to yell at himself."

"Yup, that's him." Oswald busied himself with pouring chocolate chips in a bowl and setting it in the microwave. 

Victor nodded. "I remember him from last year, we all had that class together..."

"Developmental Psychology."

"Dev Psych, yeah. Ed's a smart guy. He seems calmer than Jerome, that's for sure." 

Oswald took out the heated bowl, and considered Ed's description. "Calmer?"

Victor pondered his choice of words. "Well, less shouty, I guess."

"I suppose so, but Edward is very...intense." Oswald licked his bottom lip as he stirred the melted chocolate. "I feel like there's a lot to him that people don't know about, and I want to find out what those things are."

"I'll bet." Victor snickered. "So, you need help with anything else?"

"No, I think I'm set." Oswald began spreading the melted chocolate over the cake. "This just needs to chill in the fridge for about an hour, and I'm good."

"Sweet. Let me know if you need anything." Victor went to leave, then paused. "One question, though."

"Yeah?"

"Can I lick the spoon?"

Oswald scoffed. "How old are you?"

"It's chocolate!"

"Okay, fine! Yes! Here."

"Score!"

++++++++

Edward leaned against the elevator wall, shifting the items in his arms so he could check his phone on the ride up to Oswald's floor. He was dreading a last minute cancellation from him, but the only text from Oswald was a flirtatious one: _I hope you have a sweet tooth, I made dessert._ A million suggestive responses went through Ed's mind, but before he could respond, a text from a private number came through and threw him off course.

**What's black and white and not yours? Hahahaha**

Ed narrowed his eyes at his phone and sent a suggestion that the sender go fuck himself before blocking the number. He wasn't about to let someone random asshole ruin his night. It was probably a prank caller, maybe one of Harvey's friends - no one worth his time.

After adjusting his tie, Ed smirked to himself and knocked on Oswald's door. He had the wine, a nice centerpiece, and a small gift for his crush. He was ready. 

His confidence melted away when the door opened. Ed's heart raced when he saw Oswald Cobblepot dressed impeccably in a gorgeous black suit and purple vest and green tie. His grin was massive and adorable and sexy, and Ed actually felt weak at the knees. 

"Edward Nygma!" Oswald blushed prettily and stepped back. "Please, do come in."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date goes rather well (though it is eventful and somewhat unpredictable), so the rating has changed.

"Oswald." Ed grinned at the man in front of him. The black suit was perfectly tailored, showing off his lean frame. The striking colors highlighted his already gorgeous eyes, which were shining with excitement. "You look... amazing."

The other man looked up at Ed through his lashes. "Thank you. You look quite the dapper fellow yourself." His eyes travelled over Ed's dark green suit and the buttoned up black shirt underneath. He looked _delicious._ "Please, do come in." 

Ed stepped inside, studying the apartment with great interest. The entire apartment was furnished in what seemed like a modern gothic style, with plenty of black and ornate decor. It definitely suited Oswald. To the left was a large kitchen with a dining room just beyond it, and to the right was a living room with a stunning view of downtown Gotham. Past the living room was a bedroom, and Ed took the open door as possible invitation. The thought made him grin.

"Welcome to my home!" Oswald closed and locked the door behind him. "I'm mostly unpacked, but I have a few more things in storage that I need to put up."

"This is fantastic," Ed breathed. 

"I'm glad you approve." Soft music played in the background from a playlist that was carefully selected by Oswald to set up a dark and seductive mood, something that was befitting of the strange city they lived in.

"Maybe you can give me a full tour later," Ed suggested, delighting in how this made Oswald's eyes widen. 

"I...I would very much like to." Oswald looked down and beamed. "You brought flowers?"

"Oh, yes." Ed handed the arrangement to Oswald and followed him to the dining room, watching him place the centerpiece in the middle of the dining room table. "The girl at the flower shop was very helpful. She had me describe you and then assisted me with the arrangement."

"It's beautiful." The vase resembled an upside down umbrella and was filled with an array of black and purple roses, but it was the presence of another type of flower that got his attention. "Lilies," Oswald noted softly. 

Ed smiled. "You once mentioned in last year's class that they were your mother's favorite."

"You..." Oswald's throat tightened and he blinked rapidly. "You remembered."

"Of course." Ed nodded at the small bag in his right hand. "I also got you a little something."

Oswald just barely stopped himself from giggling. "You're quite generous, Ed Nygma. Come, have a seat."

They headed to the living room and Ed sat on the couch, handing the bag to his host. "Here. I hope you like them." 

"Them?" Oswald asked as he sat next to him and pulled a small box out of the bag. 

"Indeed." Ed beamed when he saw Oswald's stunned expression as he opened the box. "I imagine you have plenty of these, but this pair caught my eye. They're crowns, as you can see...since you're the king of Gotham U."

"Edward..." Oswald's jaw dropped as he ran his fingertips over the silver cufflinks. "They're beautiful...they're perfect."

A loud buzz made them both jump. Ed pulled out his phone with a sigh and glared at the new text. It was from a new number, one he didn't recognize.

**Riddles aren't very funny, so here's a joke. What do you call a guy who takes what isn't his? A dead man! Hahahaha.**

"Ugh. Sorry, I think some frat kids got a hold of my number." Ed fired back an angry reply - _Knock knock. Who's there? Go fuck yourself._ \- and blocked the number. 

"People can be such cretins." Oswald carefully placed his cufflinks back in the box and set the bag aside. "Ed, thank you so much for your gift. I'm humbled and honored." He nervously stood and clasped his hands together. "Well! I do hope you're hungry."

Ed grinned up at him. "Starving." He got up and followed Oswald to the kitchen. "I hope I picked a good bottle."

"Fries Vineyards!" Oswald chuckled to himself as he began opening the wine. "How is Victor lately? I haven't talked to him since our Bereavement Theory class last year."

"He seems well. Working on a paper he's excited about." Ed watched Oswald pour the wine. "He was one of the few people who would lab partner with me."

"Victor Fries is a brilliant man. After his girlfriend died, everyone thought he'd give up and drop out. Just like they thought that about me when my mother died. But we proved them wrong." Oswald smiled and raised his glass. "Well, then. To new beginnings."

Ed clinked his glass to his date's. "I'll definitely drink to that."

They sipped their wine and tried not to stare at each other too obviously. Oswald hummed and examined his glass. "This is wonderful. You made an excellent choice."

"Mmm." Ed's gaze traveled over Oswald's body as the other man turned to the stove to prepare their dinner. "Absolutely."

++++++++

"Oh my god," Ed moaned as he finished another spoonful of goulash. "That was the best dinner I've ever had. You're a wonderful cook."

Oswald ducked his head and smiled. "Thank you. It's a family recipe. My mother taught me how to make it when I was a child."

Ed smiled at his date, noticing how his voice softened when he mentioned his mother. "Tell me about her."

Oswald's eyes lit up. Jerome never tolerated stories about Gertrud Kapelput due to his estranged relationship with his own mother before she died, and Oswald didn't consider his associates to be friendly enough for chit chat. Still, he missed his mother terribly, and he knew she would have adored Ed. "She was the kindest person I've ever known. Loved to sing, but often forgot the words. Mother always loved flowers in the house, she said they gave off life." Oswald smiled sadly. "She was the only person who ever believed in me and thought I was special." He looked down, taking a moment to gather himself. "I'd like to think she'd be proud of me."

"Absolutely. You've done so much, Oswald. It's inspiring, really." Ed took a breath. "You're wrong about one thing, though."

Oswald looked up, his expression blank. "Oh?"

Ed smiled. "She wasn't the only one who believes in you, or thinks that you're special."

"Oh..." Oswald flushed and squirmed a bit under Ed's gaze. Ed was far more confident than he'd been before, but it was a dazzling development that Oswald was thoroughly enjoying. 

"Do you remember when we met?" Ed asked suddenly, sipping his wine.

"I do." Oswald laughed. "I suppose I owe you an apology for being..."

"Flippant?"

"I was going to say bratty, but sure, we'll go with flippant."

Ed chuckled. "I should apologize for being obnoxious."

"You were adorable! I was a nightmare." Oswald's expression darkened. "I will admit, I was rather infatuated with Jim Gordon at the time."

"Jim Gordon." Ed narrowed his eyes and set his empty wineglass down. "He has a problem with minding his own business."

"Indeed he does. I suppose my tastes have improved since then. Well, mostly." Oswald got to his feet, eager to change the subject. "Would you like coffee with dessert?"

"I'm good, thanks." Ed got up and took the bowls to the kitchen. "Want me to get started on these?" 

"Don't do you dare! You're a guest. I'll have it taken care of in the morning." Oswald set the cake on the island and took out a knife, waving it at Ed. "I've got this. Your job is to relax and enjoy."

"You spoil me. Oh, this looks incredible."

"Gerbeaud cake! With layers of apricot jam and walnuts, and covered in chocolate. Mother used to make it when I did well in class, so I had a lot as a child. I was a bit pudgy as a young man."

"Well, you look wonderful now." 

"You're too kind." Oswald blushed and handed him a plate of cake. "What's your favorite dessert?"

Ed took a bite and moaned. "This just replaced every possible answer."

"I'm glad you like it! It's one of my favorites, although I'd like to try making Rigo Jancsi cake or Sacher torte."

"My god." Ed licked his fork and sighed. "This is incredible. And to think I used to eat the crap out of vending machines for a sweet snack...I can never go back. You've ruined me."

Oswald giggled. "The ruination of Edward Nygma. Now that's a study I would be interested in conducting."

"Would it now?"

"Mmhmm." Oswald ran his finger over the top of his slice of cake, gathering chocolate, then looked Ed in the eyes as he brought his finger to his mouth and sucked on it.

The two men eyed each other, then Ed stepped forward and brought Oswald into his arms, pressing their mouths together in a crushing kiss. Oswald reacted immediately, arching his back and running his hands through Ed's hair, making the other man grunt with pleasure. Their kiss deepened, and Oswald squeaked when Ed lifted him to sit on the counter, pressing in between his legs to rut against him.

"Oh god." Oswald broke the kiss to gasp and tilted his head to allow Ed to lick and bite at his neck. "Oh god. Bedroom. Now."

Ed nodded and pulled off his blazer, his heart pounding as Oswald did the same. They hurried into the bedroom, pulling at each other's and their own clothes. Once they got to the bed, Ed threw Oswald onto it, then crawled over him and resumed their earlier kiss. 

Meanwhile, both their phones buzzed in the living room with incoming texts and calls, all from unknown numbers.

Ed managed to pull off his glasses and set them on the nightstand closest to him. Oswald pulled him down for a kiss and they grinned at each other, both of them nearly giddy.

"Hi," Ed whispered.

"Hi." Oswald kissed him and stroked his face. "You're here."

Ed nodded. "I'm here." He licked his lower lip and rested his hand on the other man's zipper. "Can I?" Ed whispered in Oswald's ear. 

"God yes." Oswald shivered as Ed unbuckled and unzipped him. "Please...I need you..."

"You've got me." Ed gently tugged Oswald's pants and underwear down, careful not to hurt his leg. "I'll take good care of you." 

"Fuck!" Oswald nearly leapt off the mattress as Ed swallowed him down, working him with a steady pace. His tongue curled and darted around, making Oswald's eyes roll. "Unh... good...don't stop..."

Ed's hand grasped for Oswald's and gripped it tight while he continued to suck and swallow, using his free hand to run his thumb over the base of his cock. Drool and precum dripped over his fingers, making his movements slicker, something that Oswald seemed to enjoy judging by the way his thighs shook.

"Oh god, your mouth. Fuck...oh fuck, right there!" 

Ed hummed, pleased at the sound of the other man's cries. He pressed his tongue against the frenulum, then darted it around quickly while sucking hard. Oswald garbled and dug his hands into Ed's hair, spreading his legs in an unmistakable invitation.

Well, Ed was not one to pass up an opportunity. He slipped Oswald's cock out of his mouth, ignoring the resulting whine and ran his fingers over his slick tongue, gathering saliva and precum. He nestled back in between Oswald's legs, sucking at his testicles while gently letting his fingers explore. He grinned when Oswald murmured appreciatively and lifted his hips. A definite yes, then. Ed carefully circled his fingers against his entrance and very slowly began to push in while lowering his mouth back down on his cock.

Oswald let out a noise that made Ed's cock twitch and began panting as Ed's fingers began to explore inside him. Oswald's body eagerly responded to the intrusion, and he began moving his hips up to allow those long fingers deeper inside him and to bury himself in that warm, wet mouth. 

_So tight._ Ed moaned at the thought of that tight heat pressing against his cock and began searching in earnest for Oswald's prostate. He reached and pushed, reached and pushed, until...

"Fuck!" Oswald seized and a healthy amount of precum coated Ed's tongue. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna come!"

Ed growled and sucked harder, moved his tongue faster, and pressed insistently against the soft gland inside the man he adored. 

"Ed! Oh god, Edward!" Oswald shouted as he came, his body jolting as if electrocuted as he spurted onto Ed's tongue. Ed moaned and eagerly swallowed him, his eyes closing at the sensation of Oswald tightening around his fingers. Not wanting to overwhelm him, he pushed a couple more times before carefully withdrawing his fingers and eased on sucking his cock to soft, gentle swallows.

Oswald groaned and stroked Ed's hair as his orgasm subsided, clearly enjoying the aftercare. He closed his eyes and smiled, letting the delightful haze of post orgasmic hormones wash over him. 

Ed let him slip out of his mouth and gave a soft kiss to the head of his cock. "You taste so good," he whispered.

"Hmm." Oswald opened his eyes and grinned mischievously at Ed. "Want to suck you now."

Ed got up to lay on the bed next to him, laughing when Oswald eagerly began unbuckling and unzipping him. "I guess I got you another present after all."

"Mmm, it's my lucky day." Oswald pulled back Ed's briefs and gasped. "Oh wow." He began kissing the shaft, slowly stroking as he nuzzled against it. "Very impressive, Mr. Nygma." Oswald grinned at Ed's sharp intake of breath as he let his tongue lazily trace patterns over his sensitive skin.

"Fuck." Ed watched as Oswald looked up at him while rolling the tip of his tongue over his weeping slit, gathering the precum with a grin. "Nnn. Don't tease."

"Who's teasing?" Oswald winked and slowly lowered his mouth over Ed's cock, keeping eye contact the whole time. Ed watched in surprise as Oswald swallowed down his length, then began bobbing his head in a tantalizing rhythm that made Ed dizzy. 

"Oh fuck, fuck...." Ed arched his back and grabbed onto Oswald's shoulders as the other man sucked and slurped at him. He felt the head of his cock bump against the roof of Oswald's mouth and shivered. 

Oswald moaned, sending delicious vibrations through Ed's body. He let his head fall back as Oswald let his hands wander over his chest and between his legs, keeping a steady pace the whole time. 

"Damn, you're good. Don't stop." Ed's breathing increased, feeling his pleasure start to build to an inevitable climax. Sucking off his crush already had him ready to finish himself off, but the thought of coming in Oswald's mouth made Ed's cock twitch. Oswald noticed and moved faster, moaning against him as his tongue lapped eagerly at his slit.

"Gonna come," Ed warned, and gasped when Oswald wrapped his hand around him and worked his shaft while he continued to suck at him. "Fuck... Oswald!" He moaned as the other man swallowed him down, his tongue gently caressing him while his hands stroked his chest and stomach. Ed mumbled to himself as his body relaxed, feeling slightly dizzy from the force of his orgasm.

"Mmm." Oswald kissed and gently bit at Ed's hip. "Definitely my new favorite dessert."

Ed chuckled. "Get up here."

Oswald happily scooted up and settled into Ed's arms, closing his eyes when Ed placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "You're amazing," he sighed, and wrapped an arm around Ed's chest. 

The two men began to doze as they held each other, each of them wondering if this was some sort of incredible dream that they'd have to relinquish in the morning. The music gave way to silence as they slept soundly.

A couple of hours passed, then Ed woke and stared at his surroundings in confusion before memories of the previous night came rushing back. He grinned down at Oswald, who was still asleep in his arms, and settled back against the soft sheets, ready to go back to sleep. 

_Wait a minute._

Ed opened his eyes and frowned to himself, something nagging at the corner of his mind but not fully formed. Something about the last clue from his valentine, and the cufflinks... 

_The King of Gotham University._

_The King of Hearts?_

The man Ed loved stirred in his sleep as Ed stared down at him, his heart racing. 

Was his admirer Oswald after all?

A piercing shriek made them both bolt up in bed, staring wild eyed at each other as the apartment was bathed in a flashing red light. Ed grabbed his glasses off the nightstand as Oswald scrambled to pull the sheets over himself. 

_"INTRUDER ALERT. PLEASE LOCK YOUR DOORS AND STAY IN YOUR HOMES. GCPD IS ON ITS WAY."_ The flashing red light stopped, and the apartment was bathed in a soft, soothing glow. 

The front door flung open, and Victor stomped in, loading a pistol and handing it to Oswald. "Break-in alarm, chief. Stay here. Hey, Ed." Victor waved cheerfully and unsheathed his katana, stepping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. 

"What. In the fuck." Ed stared at the door in shock. "That was Victor Zsasz! He lives next to you?"

"Yes, but it's not... we're not... we're associates!" Oswald got up and hobbled to his closet, grabbing two robes and tossing one to Ed. "Here. He might come back."

"What's going on?" Ed demanded as he pulled on the robe. 

Oswald rubbed his eyes. "The building has a high tech security system. If a window is broken, we get this alarm."

"Is Victor a part of the building security?"

"No, he just works for me." Oswald chewed his lower lip. "Please don't be jealous, he has a key for security reasons. We've never done anything."

"He gave you a gun!"

Oswald sighed as he pulled his robe closed. "Yeah...he loves his weapons."

"Was that a katana that he had...?"

"Yes, I gave that to him as a thank you for his help with...." Oswald managed to catch himself. "With keeping me safe."

Ed stared at the other man, speechless.

"I know, I know." Oswald sighed deeply. "Look, I know this is a lot to deal with, but I am an important man, and I..."

"No, no." Ed held up his hand. "Stop. It's not a deal breaker. It's just...a lot to wake up to."

"That's for goddamn sure." Oswald put on the safety and placed the gun in the nightstand drawer. 

Ed smiled and patted the space on the bed next to him. "Come here."

With a relieved grin, Oswald shuffled onto the bed and gave his new boyfriend a kiss. 

"That's better," Ed murmured, and cupped Oswald's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Ed..." Oswald's eyes shone, and leaned in to kiss him, too overwhelmed to speak.

A soft knock at the bedroom door made Oswald growl. "Timing," he muttered, and gave Ed another quick kiss before adjusting his robe to completely cover himself. "Yes, what?"

Victor poked his head in. "Sorry to interrupt, boss, but, um. I have some news." He glanced at Ed. "If you have a moment."

"Ah. Message received." Ed got up and headed to the bathroom to give them some privacy. 

Oswald turned to his associate. "Well?"

"Security caught the little guy before I could have my fun. Freshman, Thomas Schiff, art nerd. I was able to grab his phone, though. It only had one number in it."

"Let me guess," Oswald seethed. "A certain ex-boyfriend of mine, red hair, total fucking asshole?"

"Yup." Victor waved the phone. "Bad news is that it died on the way up here. I think it was programmed to only work for a small amount of time. Jerome must have some tech guys helping him out with... whatever he's doing."

"Great! Perfect!" Oswald laughed humorlessly. "Why can't he just move on from getting dumped like a goddamn normal person?"

"Uh, when has Jerome ever done anything like a normal person?"

"Good point." Oswald glanced at his bathroom door. "Let's keep this between us, shall we?"

"Right-O."

"No, wait! I should tell Ed. What if Jerome tries to hurt him?"

Victor nodded. "Sounds good."

"Fuck! If I tell him I'll scare him off. No. This stays between us."

"Mmkay."

"No, you know what? That's bullshit. It's no way to start a successful relationship. I'm telling him."

"All righty."

Oswald sat on the bed with a sigh. "Why is nothing ever simple?"

"Because we live in Gotham?" Victor offered. 

"Seems about right."

++++++++

Ed splashed water on his face and stared at his reflection. "Interesting night," he whispered, and smirked.

 _"You can say that again,"_ his reflection responded.

"Shit!" Ed jumped and glared at his amused counterpart. "What are _you_ doing here?"

_"You've forgotten how mirrors work?"_

"Get out of my head. I don't need you."

_"No?"_ His reflection raised his eyebrows.

"No! No one needs the old Ed Nygma. I'm the one who stands up to people, I'm the one who got us laid!"

_"Charming."_

"Did you or did you not get to have an orgasm with Oswald fucking Cobblepot?" Ed demanded, pointing an accusatory finger at the mirror. 

_"Um, yes, I was there..."_

"And?"

_"And it was amazing,"_ Reflection Ed sighed.

"Yes! You're welcome!"

_"Yes, you have confidence, which led you to making the first move, which led to the best night of your life so far. But you're forgetting something."_

Ed scoffed. "Highly unlikely."

_"What if Oswald Cobblepot isn't your admirer? Yes, it would be perfect, but think about it...would Oswald really do all of that? Sending you cookies with riddles in them? Commandering and blowing up a parade? You saw how flustered he got when you flirted with him."_

"...Huh." His reflection had a point. 

_"Don't bring it up to him,"_ the other Ed insisted. _"He might even think you're crazy."_

"It's possible." Ed pushed up his glasses. "Fine. I won't say a thing. And if my admirer turns out not to be Oswald...well, I'll handle it then."

++++++++

Victor checked the apartment before leaving and taking a slice of cake with him. Oswald promised to call if anything else came up, but for now, he needed to think.

What was Jerome's plan? Did he honestly think he was going to get Oswald back doing this crazy shit, or was he just looking for more attention?

Another thought occurred to Oswald as he put away the cake and headed back to the bedroom. What if admitting to Ed that he was the one behind the clues and riddles scared him off? What if Oswald was being creepy, like Jerome, instead of being romantic? This whole thing with Ed was new to him and he didn't know how to act. Better to play it safe.

Oswald picked up his phone and Ed's on the way back to the bedroom, noticing that he had a ton of missed calls and texts. He closed the bedroom door and lay down, his head spinning as he set Ed's phone down and began looking through his own. 

The texts were from an unknown number, and not signed by him, but they were clearly from Jerome.

**\- Heard you have a date tonight. Moving on so fast?**

**\- You're still mine, Pengy.**

**\- I do have something to tell you. Don't worry, I'm not pregnant, hahahaha**

**\- I fucking hate riddles!**

**\- See you soon, my pretty birdy.**

"Idiot." Oswald placed his phone on the nightstand with a sigh. He couldn't believe he actually dated that clown. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Ed answered easily as he emerged from the bathroom. "You're amazing."

Oswald smiled. "You're sweet. I got your phone from the other room. Don't worry, I didn't look at it."

"No worries here." Ed settled back into bed and cuddled next to Oswald while he set the phone aside. His messages could wait; he was already with the person he most wanted to talk to. "How is everything?"

"Not great." Oswald took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Oswald looked him in the eye. "If we're going to...be together, I want to be honest." His heart twinged at his own words, knowing he was already withholding information about the clues and riddles. "The break in...I'm sure Jerome Valeska had something to do with it. He's not taking our break-up well, and while I know you can take care of yourself, I wanted to be honest with you." Oswald looked down at his hands. "If you'd rather leave, I understand."

"Ha, no." Ed snorted. "It'll take a lot more than some jilted clown to keep me from you, Oswald."

Oswald looked up at him, his eyes wide. "Really?"

"Of course. And I'm not just saying that because you're a fantastic cook and fun in bed. I like you," Ed whispered, running his hands down Oswald's chest to pull at his robe. "I've wanted you since the first time I saw you. Nothing's going to scare me off."

"Oh, Edward..." Oswald moaned into his boyfriend's mouth as Ed pulled the robe off him and gently pushed him to lay on his back. Ed's hands were everywhere, stroking and caressing until Oswald was hard and aching against him. "Want you," Oswald gasped as Ed quickly took off his own robe and threw it aside. "Please, have me..."

"Fuck yes." Ed kissed him and set his glasses back on the nightstand. "Where's your..."

"Got 'em." Oswald grabbed supplies from the drawer next to him and managed to open the box of condoms he'd bought before he broke up with Jerome. Ed snatched up the lube and flipped the cap open, squinting as he poured a generous amount onto his fingers. 

Oswald eyed Ed's erection and softly cursed. The other man was big, something Oswald had deduced when he first noticed how long his fingers were. Plus he'd already gotten up close and personal with Ed's cock earlier that evening, and had been fairly stunned by the man's size. Jerome hadn't been small either, but Ed was on another level. It made Oswald's stomach tighten with excitement and nervousness. 

Ed leaned over him and grinned, stroking his face with his free hand. "Hey there," he whispered. "Everything okay?"

After Oswald nodded, Ed grinned and pressed his forehead against the other man's, staring into his eyes while he reached down to stroke him. Oswald groaned at the touch, arching up and spreading his legs eagerly. Ed carefully pushed against Oswald's entrance, easing his fingers inside. When the other man gasped and dug his fingers into Ed's arm, Ed kissed and nuzzled against his neck as he spread his fingers and pushed gently at his prostate. Ed grinned victoriously as his boyfriend cried out in pleasure and began moving his fingers in a slow, steady rhythm. 

"Ed...oh god...need you." Oswald babbled as Ed worked him into a writhing mass of lust. He gripped Ed's shoulder in desperation and fought the urge to reach down and stroke himself to completion. He wanted to come with Ed inside him.

"Condom," Ed breathed, and groaned as Oswald ripped open a condom packet with his teeth. He gently withdrew his fingers and felt his heart twinge when Oswald let out a distressed whimper at the loss. "It's okay, I've got you, beautiful. I've got you." Ed shifted his hips forward so Oswald could place the condom on him, trying not to shake.

Oswald fell back, staring up at Ed in wonder. "Please..." he whispered, his heart pounding so fast that he felt dizzy.

"Hold onto me," Ed commanded, and Oswald immediately obeyed, clutching onto his shoulders as Ed settled on top of him. "I'll go slow," he whispered in Oswald's ear, kissing his neck as the other man shivered. 

Slowly, just as he promised, Ed pushed against his boyfriend, listening as Oswald gasped at the sensation. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Don't stop," Oswald begged, his own erection twitching as the thick head of Ed's cock slid inside him. He groaned, instinctively clamping down, but managed to relax when Ed reached between their bodies to stroke him. "More," Oswald demanded, and grit his teeth as Ed slid deeper inside. "Fuck!"

Ed paused, needing a moment before pushing in further. Oswald was tight and warm and unlike anything Ed had ever felt before. He had a feeling he wasn't going to last long, but was determined to make this as incredible as possible for his partner. His thumb swiped over Oswald's cock, gathering the wetness at the crown and rubbing small circles on the spot just under the glans.

"Unh, fuck me!" Oswald arched his hips up, pushing Ed in deeper. Ed growled and pressed his hips forward, completely sheathing himself inside the other man.

Oswald's jaw dropped and he clung to Ed in silent desperation. He'd never felt so filled in his life, and his body shook at the overwhelming feel of pleasure. Ed slightly pulled back then pushed inside, making Oswald's eyes roll. 

"Fucking god, you feel so good," Ed gasped, feeling his body break out in a sweat. "Jesus...tight..."

Oswald lost the ability to speak and grunted his pleasure as Ed developed a rhythm that made him see stars. Ed grasped his hips and shifted his angle until the other man yelped and dug his nails into his back.

"Right there?" Ed whispered, grinning when his lover nodded and writhed helplessly. "Yeah, right there." He moved faster and harder, grunting as Oswald clawed at his back and shouted his name. The bed began to slam against the wall, and the portion of Oswald's mind that could still think coherently was incredibly thankful that he'd chosen an apartment complex with thick walls. 

Ed fucked him hard and fast, and soon the sensation was too much and Oswald arched his back as he came. His body tightened around his lover and Ed groaned, shaking with exertion and pleasure as his own orgasm began to build. 

"Come in me," Oswald whispered, and Ed came with a shout, then buried his face in the other man's neck as he tried to steady his breathing. His entire body shook and he nearly collapsed onto Oswald as his release finally began to wane. 

They held each other, both panting and soaked with sweat as they tried to breathe. After a moment Ed leaned up to kiss Oswald and gently withdrew. Oswald mumbled as Ed pulled him into his arms and kissed his forehead, gently soothing him with soft caresses. 

"You're perfect," Oswald murmured, already clearly ready for sleep. 

Edward smiled and kissed him again. "That's you." He reached down to pull off the condom, chuckling when Oswald purred and licked his neck. 

"Need some help?"

"I've got it, beautiful. Rest up, you're exhausted." Ed tied the condom and carefully set it on the floor. 

"Wasstallingeggusenmun?"

"Um, what?"

"What's tall and gorgeous and mine?" Oswald asked softly, his eyes already closed. He settled closer against Ed's chest and sighed. "Edward Nygma. The Riddler."

Ed grinned at his boyfriend's sweetness and the new nickname, holding Oswald close until he also fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Ed woke to the sound of laughter. 

He looked in shock at his unfamiliar surroundings. The room was bathed in moonlight, and the bed he was laying in was bigger and much softer than his own. An enticing scent of water lotus, along with the feel of another man's skin against his, brought him closer to consciousness. But it was the laughter that got his attention.

Oswald was giggling to himself as he slept, still curled up against Ed's chest. Ed looked down with amusement and stroked his lover's hair. "Something funny?" he whispered.

"I'm gonna go swimming," Oswald mumbled, still fast asleep. "Everyone will be there...you can come."

Knowing that Oswald Cobblepot talked in his sleep only made him more adorable. Ed grinned and decided to play along. "People are going somewhere to watch you swim?"

"Yeah."

Ed chuckled and gently rubbed Oswald's back. He decided that when they were properly awake, he was going to kiss every single freckle on his boyfriend's shoulders. "You must be good at swimming, then."

"I'm a penguin." Oswald stirred and hummed to himself. "You're a singer, so you have to sing something now."

"What?" Ed tried not to completely crack up, not wanting to wake his boyfriend. "Okay, stalker. How did you know that I like to sing?"

"You do all the things. I want a song."

"All right," Ed said softly, wrapping his arms around the man he adored. As a child, his grandmother would sing him a lullaby when he would stay at her house. It seemed like the perfect song for Oswald, who clearly missed his mother. "The fire has gone out, wet from snow above..." Ed sang, rubbing soothing circles on the back of Oswald's neck. "...But nothing will warm me more than my mother's love...I light another candle to dry the tears from my face..."

Oswald stirred again, gently nuzzling against Ed's chest. "Beautiful..."

"Yes, you are." Ed smiled and petted his hair. "Go to sleep, gorgeous. I'll keep you safe."

Oswald's breathing deepened as he fell back into a deep slumber. 

Ed nestled against his pillow, his mind racing. He'd never felt so protective of another person before. The idea that someone broke into Oswald's apartment building to scare him only strengthened Ed's resolve to do what he could to make Oswald feel safe and loved at all times. If Jerome Valeska thought he was getting the upper hand with harassing calls and texts, he was going to find out that Ed Nygma was no longer a man to be fucked with. If Jerome needed to find that out the hard way, so be it.

"You're safe with me," Ed whispered to Oswald, and closed his eyes as he began to doze. "I promise you."

++++++++

"Mmm."

Oswald opened his eyes. He was lying face down on top of someone else's skin, covered with his own soft sheets and the gentle embrace of a lover. 

Fighting back a giggle, Oswald gently lifted his head and stared at his sleeping companion. Ed was not expressionless in his sleep; a slight smile played at his lips, nearly a satisfied smirk. It was both hopelessly endearing and incredibly sexy. Ed was confident in bed, but also considerate and, as he promised, very generous. 

"Edward Nygma," Oswald sighed, and reluctantly sat up to grab his phone. After sending a group text, Oswald carefully got up and pulled on his robe. He gave a long look to the sleeping man in his bed, and gently closed the door behind him.

Some of Oswald's most loyal and devoted associates had taken residence in the same apartment building, and they were quick to respond to his requests. Within minutes, Oswald had fresh pastries, fruit, eggs, and bacon delivered, along with a few gifts that he hoped Ed would appreciate. 

Jimmy Peters, a fellow sophomore, carefully approached him. "Hey boss? I found something outside, by the window that was broken last night. Figured you might want to see it." He handed Oswald a piece of paper with downcast eyes. 

Oswald took the paper and unfolded it, his stomach clenching when he saw it was part of the decoy map he'd left in the historical society building. Written on the torn piece was a clear message in bright red ink:

**You're a hard guy to reach, Pengy. But I'll be seeing you real soon... we're destined to be strange bedfellows hahahaha**

**Oh, and tell Riddle Guy that no one likes a thief. Least of all me. If he returns what's mine maybe I'll play nice...maybe...**

"Motherfucker!" Oswald seethed. 

Jimmy flinched. "You want me to handle this, or tell Zsasz?"

"I'll figure something out." Oswald held up the offending document. "Destroy this."

"Yes sir." Jimmy quickly took the paper and scurried away. 

Once the food was set up and the coffee was brewing, the other students left, leaving Oswald to his thoughts. He breathed deeply, willing his heart rate to slow down. He'd figure out what to do with Jerome later, and would not let it ruin his morning.

After locking the front door, Oswald returned to his bedroom. Ed was still sleeping, that sexy smile making Oswald's heart flip. He crawled onto the bed, settling next to the other man and watched him stir.

Ed opened his eyes, immediately focusing on Oswald. He grinned and stretched lazily. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Hey yourself." Oswald chuckled as Ed reached for him and began kissing his shoulders. "Don't you want breakfast?"

"Mmm, in good time." Ed tugged at the front of Oswald's robe. "There's something else that I want right now."

Oswald found himself in complete agreement as his boyfriend quickly undressed him. He was right - breakfast could wait. 

Soon Ed was staring up at Oswald in wonder as he gently rocked himself on Ed's lap. Ed let him take control, letting his hands wander as Oswald rested his hands on Ed's chest and began to move faster. "You're big," Oswald moaned, his eyes rolling in pleasure. 

"You're okay? I'm not hurting you?"

"No, it's amazing...I love y-...how you feel," Oswald said quickly, cursing himself for his near slip. He covered for it by moving faster, making them both gasp. 

"Goddamn, Oswald," Ed breathed, letting his eyes wander appreciatively over his lover's body. He felt like a king himself, with the most gorgeous man in Gotham riding him. Judging by his breathless moans and the precum dripping from his boyfriend's cock, Ed wasn't the only one getting close to orgasm.

Oswald whined and reached down to stroke himself, but Ed smacked his hand away and began pumping his shaft himself. "You'll come from my hands and my cock. Your job is ride me," he growled.

"Oh fuck." Oswald shivered and moved faster, thrusting into his boyfriend's hands. "You're gonna make me come again," he whispered.

Ed smirked and began stroking him faster. "That's the idea, baby."

Oswald shouted as he climaxed, dimly aware of the praise and encouragement his boyfriend muttered to him as he lost himself in pleasure. He panted and rolled his hips as Ed let go of his cock to grab his waist and thrust up, clearly close to his own orgasm. 

"You're so close...I can feel it...you're deep inside me and you want to come," Oswald teased, purposefully squeezing the hard length inside of him as he moved. 

"God... Oswald...fuck!" Ed dug his nails into Oswald's hips and came hard, cursing as he shivered with the intensity of his climax. He fell back against the pillows and tried to concentrate on breathing normally. 

"Good?" Oswald whispered, and slightly wriggled his hips.

"Understatement," Ed groaned, and thrust up one more time. "Goddamn. Okay...I'm dizzy now. I might need to borrow your cane."

"Or I can bring you breakfast in bed." 

"Mmm, you spoil me."

"Just you wait, Edward Nygma." Oswald withdrew carefully and leaned down to kiss the other man. "I've only gotten started."

++++++++

_\- Good news, boss. The meeting with Dean Loeb is set for tomorrow at one o'clock. Pretty sure he thinks we're going to confess to blowing up the parade. - Z_

"Oh, Dean Loeb, you old fool." Oswald chuckled to himself and set his phone aside. He was confident that the meeting with the dean would go smoothly, and if it didn't, well... perhaps a late night visit to his mansion would change his mind. 

The sound of running water stopped and Oswald looked to the bathroom door with a grin. It hadn't been easy to turn down Ed's offer to shower together, but Zsasz had sent a text promising an update on the meeting with the dean, and that was now an essential part of his Enigma project. He was still worried that Ed might be upset that Oswald didn't tell him that he was his admirer, but at this point not using the planned reveal would be lackluster at best. 

At least, that's what Oswald kept telling himself. 

Ed stepped out with wet skin and a towel around his waist, sporting that sexy smirk that Oswald was already in love with. "Hey you." He put on his glasses and ran his hand through his wet hair. "I still can't believe you bought me clothes. Did you know I was going to spend the night?"

"No, but I'd hoped. Are they to your liking?"

"They're perfect." Ed admired the dark green shirt and black jeans that were delivered by Oswald's legion of followers. It was a bit weird to know that he was now dating someone who could get what he wanted with a snap of his fingers, but it was like Ed said last night - Oswald Cobblepot was the King of Gotham University. 

"Excellent." Oswald cleared his throat. "So...did you get any more calls or texts from..." Oswald trailed off, not wanting to say his ex's name. 

"No, I haven't. Maybe he finally wised up," Ed suggested as he dried off.

"Doubtful. He might just be planning his next move." 

Ed grunted. "Well, he's going to learn not to fuck with us."

"Let's hope so." Oswald eyed the other man as he pulled on his new shirt. "Do you have class today?"

"Nope."

"Hmm, neither do I."

"Huh." Ed tugged the shirt off and tossed it aside. "In that case, why get dressed at all?" He grinned at Oswald's lustful expression and crawled back into the bed. "Now...where were we?"

++++++++

"Where were you?" Dean Loeb demanded, glaring at his students while they rolled their eyes. "Answer me, dammit! I want to know where you two were on the day of the parade!"

"You know, that tone of yours is really not working for me." Oswald scrunched up his face in mocking disgust. "In fact, I'm finding it to be disrespectful." He turned to Victor. "I mean, am I wrong?"

"Nope." Victor stared the older man down. 

"Disrespectful?" Loeb sputtered. "Now you listen..."

"NO!" Oswald slammed his fist on the dean's table, making the older man jump. "I think it's high time you listened, _sir._ I do not know where you get your intel, but it is faulty at best. We did not come here for your baseless accusations. We came here to demand that you reinstate student events, starting with the Human Poker Game on April first."

Loeb's jaw dropped. "You can't possibly..."

"Oh, but I can. You see, I'm in a position to know things about people, and what I know about you is that you play favorites, don't you? He plays favorites," Oswald playfully informed Victor, who grinned. "For example, I understand that you're not a big fan of Jim Gordon. Now, personal thoughts aside, I don't think it's very becoming of a man in your position to tamper with a student's grades." Oswald tsked and wagged his finger in the stunned man's face. "Now that, Dean Loeb, is an atrocity - not a few ruined floats and some paint."

"You..."

"Interfering with a young man's future!" Oswald shouted over him. "Highly disturbing, I must say. Something you would like to keep private, I imagine?"

The dean slowly lowered himself into his chair, his face pale. "No one gets hurt," he muttered. "Promise me that."

"Why Dean Loeb, you wound me." Oswald theatrically placed his hand over his heart, then narrowed his eyes. "Make the announcement today."


	12. Chapter 12

The realization hit Ed like a ton of bricks. 

He was on his way to the library when it hit him, and he stopped short and nearly walked into a tree. 

_Oh god. Oh fuck, fuck me..._

"Shit." He fumbled for his phone, hurriedly sending a message to Oswald. _\- Are you done with your meeting?_

Oswald had mentioned something about meeting with faculty for a planned project, and Ed wasn't sure if he was even available today. The idea of going back to his tiny, dark dorm room, alone, to ruminate on his epiphany made him want to scream.

Luckily, Oswald replied quickly. -- _Yes, it went well. Thank you for asking. :)_

Ed sent another message. _\- I need to see you._

_\-- Where are you? Is something wrong?_

Ed read the text and fired back a quick reply.

_\- I just need to see you._

Dots appeared, disappeared and then reappeared as Oswald typed out a response. 

_\-- Okay. Come to my place, we'll talk about it._

Ed turned to head towards Oswald's apartment building. Before long, a car swung by to whisk him away to Burgess Towers where his boyfriend was waiting.

++++++++

"Oh god, oh fuck, fuck me!" Oswald threw himself onto his bed and screamed into his pillow. It had finally happened; Ed found out about everything and he was pissed.

Oswald rubbed his leg and tried to breathe normally. He knew Ed wouldn't hurt him - not physically, anyway. Anyone else would call it naive, but his intuition was rarely, if ever wrong. Ed was going to confront him, and it would be devastating, but Oswald would be unharmed. 

But he wondered if he could take having Edward Nygma break his heart. 

The entire project of wooing the man he loved now seemed insane. He'd thought Edward would love the puzzles and the mystery of having a secret admirer, but Oswald realized with creeping horror that withholding that information after they'd spent the night together was worse than dishonest - it was flat out creepy. 

Ed deserved honesty. If that meant undoing the work that Oswald did, so be it. 

He just wanted Ed to be happy. Perhaps it was foolish, but Oswald had let himself to believe that just maybe, he could be the source of that happiness.

++++++++

Victor Zsasz was waiting outside for Ed, twirling a dagger and giving him his version of a warm smile. "Hey there. Boss is resting his leg, so he told me to let you in and then leave you guys alone."

Ed nodded, letting Victor lead him inside the building and into the elevator. "Any more break-ins?"

Victor smirked and pushed the button to the top floor. "Nope. I'm working on making sure you-know-who stops bothering you guys. He's definitely not going to orchestrate any more break-ins, that's for damn sure."

Ed's eyes narrowed. "If he tries shit like that again, I'll kill that fucking clown myself."

Victor chuckled as the elevator doors opened. "Well said. I like you, Nygma. You're a good egg." 

They walked down the hallway to Oswald's apartment, Ed's heart pounding as he reached the front door. Victor opened it and stepped aside, leaving Ed to enter the apartment and close the door behind him. 

"...Edward?"

"Yeah." Ed tossed his bag onto the living room chair and trudged into the bedroom. Oswald was lying on his stomach, holding a pillow underneath him, his bad leg bent next to him. Ed was careful to avoid it when he collapsed dramatically on Oswald's bed, staring blearily at the ceiling. "...Fuck."

Oswald lifted himself on his elbows to stare at his boyfriend. "Um. Was that a request or an exclamation?"

"Exclamation." Ed looked over at him. "Although I wouldn't turn you down, if you're offering."

Oswald huffed out a laugh and scooted over to kiss Ed's cheek. "What's going on?"

"I'm fucked. I was going to interview Isabella for my Exploration of Self Identity class." Ed sighed. "Should have done that right after I met her. Talking to her now is not really an option."

Oswald frowned. "Why interview her?"

"I'm working on my own syllabus, and was going to write a paper on the dual natures of self introspection." Ed waved his hand around. "I thought that interviewing a twin would perfectly suit that."

"You don't need her for that."

Ed groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. "Do you know any twins?"

Oswald looked away. "Well..."

"Wait, you do?"

"Um..." Oswald chewed his lower lip. "Jerome mentioned being a twin. His brother's name is Jeremiah. He goes to a private school, Metropolis University, I think."

Silence stretched over them until Oswald sighed and pulled Ed's arm away from his face. "I wasn't suggesting that you interview him. In fact, I think you're forgetting someone." Oswald reached over and tapped his boyfriend's chest. "Someone who is brilliant and knows all about the dual natures of self introspection."

"Me?" Ed frowned. 

"Of course." Oswald rubbed his lover's chest. "You've been battling your other self your whole life. You have two personas inside your head. Who better to speak on the subject?" 

"I..."

"Your professor let you create your own syllabus. You know he's going to love the idea of you examining your own psyche."

Ed looked at him with wide eyes. "Interview my other self."

"Why not? You're a genius. I have the utmost confidence that you'd do a brilliant job."

"My god." Ed laughed and rolled on his side, pulling Oswald close. He buried his face in his boyfriend's neck and breathed him in, relief and affection flooding his senses. "I continue to be astounded by you, Oswald."

Oswald giggled. "Astounded by me?"

"Yes. You're very... encouraging." Ed kissed his shoulder. "You're good to me...you're good for me. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side," he whispered, nuzzling against him. 

"You're sweet." Oswald stretched and purred as Ed kissed the back of his neck. "And handsome, and clever, and wonderful..." Oswald closed his eyes and shivered. _"Szerelmes vagyok beléd."_

Ed's head snapped up. "Was that Hungarian?"

"It was." Panic gripped Oswald's heart. "Do you speak it?"

"It is not one of the languages that I'm familiar with." Ed gently pulled himself on top of his boyfriend, taking care not to disrupt his leg. "Say something else," he murmured.

Oswald grinned. _"Mi egymásnak lettünk teremtve,"_ he whispered.

"Mmm." Ed nosed at Oswald's hair, breathing him in. He'd known coming here was the right move. His brilliant boyfriend was clever, cunning, and resilient. "I'm a lucky man," he whispered.

"No, that would be me." Oswald grabbed one of Ed's hands and kissed it. "You're perfect." 

"Am I now?"

"Like out of a dream." Oswald smiled to himself. "You know, I dreamt that you sang to me."

"That was no dream, baby." Ed nipped at his boyfriend's ear. "You asked me to."

Oswald snickered. "I did what?"

"You talk in your sleep. It's so fucking cute."

"Huh. What did I say?"

"Apparently you're a world champion swimmer." 

"Ha." Oswald glanced at his bent knee. "Not sure about that."

"I think you could do anything. Everything." Ed reached down and carefully placed his hand on Oswald's leg. "May I?" he asked softly.

Oswald drew in a sharp breath. Ed lifted his hand, ready to apologize until Oswald carefully rested his hand on top of his and lowered it back down onto his knee. "Yes," he whispered. 

Ed wanted to ask _Are you sure?_ , but didn't want to insult Oswald by doubting him. He knew how Oswald felt about his limp, and how the last person to touch him like this was unworthy, using it as a means to humiliate him. Ed wanted to cast it all away and replace the horrible memory with something gentle and kind. He wanted Oswald to feel how much he cherished him...how much he loved him.

Slowly, carefully, he rubbed small circles against Oswald's skin, his breath hitching as Oswald groaned and sunk into the mattress. Ed kissed the back of his neck and continued to breathe in his trademark scent. "I adore you," he whispered. "You're so strong, so brave. Utterly brilliant. And beautiful...I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you, Oswald."

"God..." Oswald managed not to sob and grasped at the sheets beneath him. "Please...harder. More."

"More," Ed echoed, and pressed just a little harder, his fingers pushing into the muscles under the skin. 

Oswald arched against him, rubbing himself against Ed's body. "More," he whispered.

Ed grunted and concentrated on massaging his lover's knee, and began gently moving against him. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you," he murmured, placing soft kisses along Oswald's neck as the other man shivered. "Ever since I first saw you. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to touch you, kiss you...have you."

"Please...please..." Oswald whimpered and reached behind him to tug at Ed's hair. 

Ed growled and reached down with his free hand, managing to unbutton his pants. He shoved them down and freed his erection, licking at the space under Oswald's ear as he pushed against his boyfriend. 

They writhed together, Oswald reaching down to stroke himself as Ed grinded against him, panting into his lover's ear with the pleasure that kept rising with every push of his hips. Throughout it all Ed kept his hand on Oswald's knee, rubbing deep circles with the utmost care. 

"Ed..." Oswald was nearly weeping, so overwhelmed by the affection from the man he absolutely adored. "Ed, I'm close..."

"So am I." Ed was nearly dizzy with lust, every instinct in him wanting to push in that tight heat and fill his lover with his orgasm. _No, you're not thinking clearly, you need to be responsible..._ "Fuck. Want to come on you."

"Yes...cover me with it," Oswald demanded, arching his back even more. "Give it to me. I want it."

Ed growled and bit on the space between Oswald's neck and shoulder, closing his eyes when this made his lover keen in pleasure. He thrust forward, grunting as he came, relishing in Oswald's soft curses as his release spent over his soft skin. Ed moaned and licked at the spot he bit while Oswald came loudly, crying out Ed's name as he shuddered. 

"Oh my god...oh my god..." Oswald took Ed's hand off his knee and brought it around his own waist, needing desperately to be held. "Ed..."

"Oswald." Ed kissed his boyfriend's neck and sighed. "I adore you." 

"You're so good to me." Oswald buried his face in the pillow underneath him, his eyes pricking with tears. It was mortifying how undone he was, but Ed had been more gentle and loving than anyone he'd ever been with, and it was wreaking havoc on his composure. 

Ed tightened his hold on his lover, continuing to breathe him in. They were desperately in need of cleaning themselves up, but it could wait. The need both men felt to hold and be held superceded everything else. 

A few minutes passed, then Oswald shifted to look back at Ed. "We should clean up." 

"Yeah. Sorry, I..."

Oswald shook his head. "Don't you dare apologize."

Ed smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "As you wish. Shower?"

"Mmm, I was thinking of a bath."

"That does sound better. Then bed again?"

"Oh, most definitely."

Ed laughed softly and nuzzled against Oswald's neck. "How's your knee, baby?"

Oswald smiled, hugging the arms wrapped around his waist. "Never better."


	13. Chapter 13

Oswald hummed to himself as he got dressed, taking care to admire his new cufflinks before grinning at his reflection. Edward was already gone, having an early Histological Technologies class, and Oswald had planning to do; he was going forward with his original plan. 

It had been a week since he'd thought that Ed had figured out everything, and that night, Oswald had made love for the first time. He was still glowing. Edward had taken the humiliating memory with Sofia and completely replaced it with the most intimate experience he'd ever had. Oswald had sex before, plenty of it, but what happened with Ed was transcendent. He'd been so gentle with his bad leg that the memory nearly brought tears to his eyes. 

Edward deserved a grand gesture. He deserved all of it - the riddles, the parade, the big reveal...everything. Oswald wanted to shower his paramour with gifts and give Ed everything he'd ever want. He also wanted to prepare for his final reveal, which was in only four days. It was terrifying and exhilarating to know that soon Ed would know that his admirer and his boyfriend were one and the same. 

He just hoped Ed would appreciate everything that he'd done. 

Oswald ran his fingers over his cufflinks, smiling as he remembered a riddle he'd found that morning. He reached for his phone, eager to share it with the man he loved.

++++++++

_Imagine us together._

_\--You shoot me, hold me underwater for five minutes, then, you hang me._

_What happened?_

Ed grinned at the text and responded quickly. _\- You took a picture of me and developed it in a dark room._

He picked up his bookbag and headed out of his class, ignoring the curious stare from Lee. She'd been giving him odd looks all throughout class, like he was a strange specimen that she had to dissect. 

Before he could ruminate on it, his phone buzzed with an incoming text. 

_\-- Correct! You are as brilliant as you are handsome, Mr. Nygma. <3 _

Ed leaned against the Hamilton building and breathed deeply, wondering for the millionth time how he'd gotten so lucky. The past week with Oswald had been something out of a dream - they'd had dinner together every night, sometimes cooking together, getting takeout or going to local restaurants. Every night they ended up in bed together, and every morning they woke up in each other's arms. That morning, Ed had woken to kisses on his neck and sly, wandering hands that traveled over his body like he was something rare and precious. They almost hadn't made it to their first classes. 

With Oswald, Ed felt seen, and safe. He encouraged Ed in his studies and was understanding of his complex mental health issues - something Ed never thought he'd find in a partner. Oswald Cobblepot was brilliant, dangerous, sexy, and adorable, and Ed Nygma was helplessly in love with him. 

"You're in a good mood."

Ed looked up in surprise to see Lee carefully approaching him with narrowed eyes. "I am," he replied.

"You're happy," she noted, looking him over. "In fact, you're practically glowing."

Ed smirked. "Things have been working out for me."

She raised an eyebrow. "With Oswald Cobblepot?"

"Yes."

"Word gets around. Plus you two aren't exactly shy."

He chuckled, thinking of how they'd just barely managed to tear themselves away from each other before their History of Gotham class. "We're happy."

Lee sighed and crossed her arms. "Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do..."

"A wise decision."

"...But I will say that you should tread carefully."

Ed narrowed his eyes. "Meaning what?"

"C'mon." Lee shook her head. "You know Oswald is an intense guy. He dated Jerome Valeska, for God's sake."

"Well, he's with me now."

"Yeah, pretty soon after he and Jerome broke up, right?"

Ed tensed. "I sincerely hope that you're not suggesting that I'm just a rebound."

Lee shrugged. "You tell me."

"You don't know what Oswald and I have!" Ed seethed, stepping forward and relishing in her look of apprehension. 

"Whoa. Wow. Okay." Lee held her hands up and took a step back. "I'm just trying to talk to you, Ed. We're worried about you."

Ed scoffed. "You and Jim."

"Yes, me and Jim." 

"Well, you can tell the Boy Wonder that I'm fine."

"You're fine? Really? Dumping Isabella at the parade, avoiding your friends..."

" _Friends?_ " 

Lee went pale at Ed's outburst. Other students stopped and openly gawked as Ed stomped up to her and stared her down. "Tell me how we're friends," he hissed, his eyes wide with fury. "Tell me how you never did anything but pity me!"

"Get away from her, Nygma!" 

Ed whirled around to see Jim approaching him quickly, his shoulders back and his hands clenched into fists. He was clearly ready to fight, the dashing hero sweeping in to rescue the damsel in distress. Ed laughed darkly and reached into his pocket. "Oh goody. Another _friend_." Ed pulled out his switchblade and pointed it at Jim, stopping him dead in his tracks. "Hello, _friend._ Why don't you enlighten us all about how close we are? What exactly do you know about me?"

Jim took a careful step forward. "I know that deep down, you're a good person." He glanced at Lee, who was already circling her way toward him. "I also know that you're sick."

"Sick." Ed laughed. "I have never felt more alive and well." He took another step forward. "I have some friendly advice of my own, Jim - stay the fuck away from me and Oswald. Got that?" 

"Oswald Cobblepot is a complete..."

Ed was on him in moments, the blade inches from Jim's throat. "I dare you to finish that sentence."

A few other students gasped while Jim nervously swallowed but kept his gaze locked on Ed. "You're...together."

"We are." Ed closed the switchblade and smirked at Jim's relieved expression. "Best to leave us alone." With that, he turned and walked away, leaving behind a stunned group of fellow students. It was a thrilling feeling.

++++++++

Across town, Oswald entered Red Hood's Flower Shop, set his umbrella on the counter of the Red Hood's Flower Shop and cheerfully hit the bell for assistance.

"Just a second!" A young woman bounded out with a grin, flipping her red hair as she stood in front of her customer. "Welcome! How can I help y...oh my god." Her green eyes widened as she looked at the umbrella. "You're him!"

Oswald blinked. "Him?"

"Yes!" She jumped up and down excitedly. "The cute tall guy with glasses, he described you! Black hair, gorgeous eyes, sexy smile, carries around an umbrella...you're the Penguin!" 

"Uh...yes..."

"Oh my god!" She bounced a bit more. "Did you like the flowers he got for you? He was so nervous, it was the cutest thing. I'm Ivy, by the way."

"Hello." Oswald was rendered speechless by her bubbly personality. "Yes, um, the arrangement was lovely."

Ivy clapped her hands. "Yay! You know, he really, really, really likes you."

Oswald blushed. "Yes, he...he has made that clear." Something made him want to share his joy with her. "We're dating."

The squeal she made could have broken glass. "True love!"

"Indeed..."

"Are you here to get something for him?"

"I am!" Oswald grinned. "It's for...well, I'm planning something. A surprise." 

Ivy leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. "Tell me everything."

Oswald looked around. They were the only ones in the shop, and he felt an immediate kinship with the girl. Plus, she was far more of an enthusiastic listener than Zsasz. 

"All right." Oswald leaned forward, his eyes sparkling. "Let me start with how we met..."

++++++++

Ed decided to skip the rest of his classes that day.

He headed to his apartment, ready to either crash into bed or grab his things and head to Oswald's. The gorgeous, spacious apartment already felt like a safe haven.

Ed wanted to feel safe.

Sighing deeply, he stopped and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. The fallout from threatening Jim Gordon with a switchblade would be excruciating. He would be reprimanded, possibly even expelled. Maybe Oswald could pull a few strings...

"Nice work back there."

He whirled around to see Barbara Kean smirking at him. "What's it to you?" he snapped.

Barbara chuckled and slowly approached him with a shark like grin. "I just think it's hilarious. Shoving a knife in Jim's face? Wish I had thought of that." 

Ed huffed out a laugh. "Well, I can't say that I didn't enjoy myself."

"The look on his face! I haven't seen anything that spectacular since the parade. All those exploding floats..."

"Funny you should mention that." Ed smirked. "That was for me."

Barbara stared at him. "Are you serious? Like a gift, or something?"

"Or something. It was a romantic gesture."

"Holy shit." Barbara's eyes shone with excitement. "I have to know everything. Tell me everything!"

Ed exhaled. He hadn't been able to share his experience with anyone, and was still torn over whether his admirer was actually Oswald. An outsider's perspective could be just what he needed.

"Okay." He nodded. "It all started on Valentine's Day..."


	14. Chapter 14

The break room of Red Hood's Flower Shop was unsurprisingly colorful, with bright post-it notes covering the walls and bright bouquets on every surface. Ivy sat forward in her chair, her untouched tea cooling in front of her as she listened to Oswald's story in complete enthrallment.

"So there I'll be, with a huge arrangement of flowers - that's where you come in - and I'll tell him that I was behind everything the whole time!" Oswald sipped at his tea as Ivy stared at him. "Pretty brilliant, huh?" 

"I'm..." She shook her head. "Oh my god, I'm speechless."

Oswald paused, his cup hovering in midair. "Wait. You sound displeased."

Ivy glanced around the break room as if looking for a distraction. "It's just that...well, let's recap. You started this in February, with the valentine, cookies, and riddles, because you've been in love with Ed Nygma for almost a year, right?" 

"Yes..."

Ivy took a deep breath and wrapped her hands around her mug. "And then, around the same time, you slept with Jerome Valeska."

Oswald set his mug down and exhaled. "I did. But..."

"You started dating Jerome, but still planned the whole thing with the St. Patrick's Day parade and the map, for Ed."

"Um. Yes..."

"And you broke up with Jerome because you felt bad about dating him while being in love with Ed." 

"Well. Yes." Oswald looked down at his mug. "Also, Jerome was starting to get demanding of my time, and didn't really value me as a person."

Ivy chewed her lower lip. "Okay. So the day after the parade, you met up with Ed for dinner and you slept with him."

Oswald's face heated up at the memory. "We had dinner at my place and one thing lead to another."

"And you've been dating since then..."

"Right."

"...But he has no idea that you're the one behind all these riddles and clues."

"Correct."

Ivy sank back into her seat. "What a mess."

Oswald scowled. "Excuse me? A mess?"

"Well...yeah. I mean, think about it. Pretend you're Ed - you've been getting these amazing messages, only to find out that the guy who sent them was totally banging another guy half the time..."

"Wait, hold on!" Oswald's hands went up. "Jerome was a one night stand, but then I found out that Ed had a girlfriend, so yes, I made some bad decisions!"

"Okay, but then you didn't tell Ed that you were his admirer after you started dating him."

"No, but I will!"

Ivy winced. "He might be pissed."

"That's preposterous." Oswald scoffed. "He'll be ecstatic!"

"Have you even told Ed that you love him?"

"No, I'm saving that for the big reveal!"

"You've been lying to him," Ivy said softly.

Oswald opened his mouth to protest, but then slumped in his seat. "Fuck."

"Yup." Ivy sipped her tea. "You're going to need a lot more than flowers, mister."

"Fuck!" Oswald brought his hands to his face, his skin feeling flushed and feverish. "Oh god. What if he hates me?"

++++++++

"Now that is insane." Barbara snickered. "An exploding parade as a seduction method! I love it."

Ed laughed and handed her the fuzzy navel wine cooler she more or less demanded when he invited her to his dorm to hear his story. They'd been somewhat friendly last year, running into each other between classes after she dropped Developmental Psychology. Her break up with Jim Gordon was the stuff of legends, and she'd been known to ruin a few dates between her ex and Lee. Ed admired her tenaciousness. "Yup. And in a few days, I'll find out who they are." Ed smirked. "But I'm sure it's Oswald."

Barbara scoffed. "I'm not."

Ed's smile disappeared. "What? Why?" 

"Oh, come _on_. I know Oswald. This isn't his style."

"That's crazy! Then who..."

"Ed. You know who's behind this." Barbara smirked. "It's definitely Jerome."

"What?" Ed nearly choked. "That's not possible!"

"Oh, yes it is. Jerome loves messing with people. He saw that you were hot for his boy toy and decided to screw with your head."

"No." Ed collapsed onto his bed next to her, feeling dizzy at the prospect. "The messages were so romantic..."

"So he got one of his lackeys to help him." Barbara shrugged. "He's done it before."

Ed's blood ran cold. "What?" he whispered. 

"Yeah. Remember Professor Carlyle? He didn't give Jerome a good grade on his essay in philosophy class, and Jerome decided to fuck with him. He got a poetry student to help him with emailing Carlyle sonnets, real lovey dovey stuff. Carlyle fell for it, was ready to leave his wife and everything, and then Jerome printed the emails and Carlyle's replies and posted them all over campus...you don't remember this?"

Ed frowned, but his inner voice just grumbled that he recalled the scandal. "Other Ed remembers, but I don't."

"...Other Ed?" Barbara gave him a stunned look, but then she shrugged again and sipped her drink. "Well, Carlyle left town, totally disgraced. Dean Loeb worked out something with Jerome about his grade to keep it quiet. So obviously he could do this again, but to you this time."

"But then why pretend to blow up the map? And send me the real one with the last riddle?"

"Again, to fuck with you. Although, he obviously didn't plan on you actually hooking up with Penguin. So the break in was maybe an act of desperation, or something." Barbara finished her drink and set the empty glass on Ed's nightstand. "Sorry buddy, but you got pranked by a clown."

Ed rubbed his eyes, feeling a massive headache coming on. "It can't be," he murmured pitifully. 

"Aww, it's not that bad. Beats the alternative, if you ask me."

"Which is?"

Barbara huffed out a laugh. "That Oswald and Jerome are both doing this to fuck with you."

++++++++

"No! Are you insane?" Ivy glared, her lips pulled back in a scowl. "Tell me you're not serious!"

Oswald slammed his hands onto the table, making Ivy jump. "Well, what choice do I have?"

"Oh my god, you can't just _text_ Ed the truth. You have to tell him face to face."

"But..."

"No!" Ivy pointed a finger in her new friend's face. "You owe him a real confession. Make it romantic if you want, but you have to apologize as well!"

Oswald groaned into his hands. "My whole plan is fucked!"

"Just...you have to be careful, okay? He might need time afterward to think things through. Or, and you've gotta prepare yourself for this, he'll get really pissed and dump you completely."

"I won't let that happen!" Oswald looked up at her, wild eyed. "I'm in love with him. I've been in love with Ed since last year. I've loved him since the moment I first saw him, and I love him even more now that I know him better! He's everything. My heart was broken at the idea of him with someone else so yes, I was with Jerome for a while, but I never stopped loving Ed. I never will! He's beautiful, and perfect, and brilliant, and I'd do anything for him, I'd do anything to make this right!"

Ivy smiled, her eyes welling up. "Oh my god. You really do love him."

"Yes! Duh!"

"Right!" She slammed her hands down on the table. "I'm officially your love coach on this. Your confession will be off the charts. He'll have no choice but to fall even more in love with you, and you'll live happily ever after, and I'm totally doing the flowers at your wedding!"

++++++++

"...What?"

Barbara ignored Ed's low growl and rooted around his fridge until she found another wine cooler. "Aha! Can't stop at just one."

"Barbara, what do you mean about the two of them working together on this?" Ed asked slowly, fighting off the urge to start stabbing something. 

She waved her hand around. "Those two, they get up to all kinds of things. They're like two peas in a pod, I swear."

Ed's hands balled into fists. "No. Oswald is with me now."

"Can't change the past, though. They hooked up last year, and oh man, the noise complaints about them in that neighborhood, having sex all over Jerome's house...they even did it on campus." Barbara snickered and sipped at her drink, oblivious to Ed's growing rage. "I totally caught them going at it on Carlyle's desk. Tabby and I were trying to get into Professor Logan's office to change our grades, and we heard yelling and banging, so we peeked in and there was Oswald on his back and Jerome standing over him, drilling into him like a machine, both of them shouting...it was pretty hot, but as you know, they're crazy, so we left."

"Stop it," Ed hissed.

Barbara finished her drink in a few gulps and exhaled. "Now that I think about it... Oswald helped Jerome with that whole Carlyle thing. I think Oswald was the one who told Jerome to pretend to be someone who fell in love with the guy, to humiliate him. So there you go." She giggled. "I remember they crashed a senior party after that mess with Sofia Falcone. Oswald and Jerome took over the whole top floor of the house and fucked like rabbits. They're both really loud. Jerome was screaming 'You're mine, Ozzie baby, you're mine...'"

Ed grabbed the empty bottle from her hands and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into pieces as Barbara flinched. "Stop fucking talking!" Ed shouted. "Oswald is _mine_. I'm in love with him and I fucking know that he loves me too. We're _together_. You don't know what we have! I don't care who Oswald fucked in the past, he's with me now and if Jerome tries to fuck with us again, I will fucking murder him!"

"Whoa! Holy shit, you are completely insane!" Barbara got to her feet and glared at him. "I'm just telling you the truth! You should prepare yourself for finding out something you may not want to know!"

"It's him," Ed insisted, his voice breaking. "Oswald is my admirer. He wouldn't do all of this to hurt me. He's not that cruel."

Barbara snorted. "Oh no? Ask Professor Carlyle about how sweet Oswald Cobblepot can be." She picked up her purse and headed to the door, then paused. "You know, maybe you just don't know Oswald as well as you think. Maybe you should actually talk to Jerome. He's clearly been trying to get your attention." With that, she turned and left, slamming the door on her way out.

Ed fell onto the bed, his mind racing as his eyes pricked with tears. He remembered the shy way Oswald had blushed on their date, the way he gazed up at him later that evening when Ed was inside him, the way Oswald felt in his arms as he slept. It couldn't all just be a cruel joke. It was real.

But how could he know? Ed struggled with reality on a daily basis. He couldn't prove that this wasn't just all a big set up designed by Jerome or Oswald himself. He only had his emotions to go on, but what good were those if Ed couldn't keep track of his own memories, having to share then with his other self?

Ed sniffed as tears fell down his face, and for the moment he let his hurt and frustration take over his rage. He turned and buried his face into his pillow, taking in a shaking breath as his inner voice whispered, _I told you so._


	15. Chapter 15

The walk to Oswald's apartment was longer than usual, with the road seeming to stretch with every step Ed took. Or maybe it was because he was moving slowly, his mind still processing what Barbara had said earlier. Ed had known she was baiting him, enjoying his emotional upheaval until he'd thrown the bottle at the wall. She toyed with people, just like Jerome did, and if Ed was being honest, it was also what Oswald was known for. It wasn't out of the question for Oswald to do all this as a cruel practice in manipulation. 

Still, Ed kept thinking of the look in Oswald's eyes when Ed moved slowly inside him, and the way he blushed when Ed complimented him. Oswald seemed to adore him, and couldn't that be a possibility too?

Ed sat down on a park bench, his mind whirling. He needed to think. He needed facts to draw a logical conclusion. 

Oswald was excellent in manipulation. He was even taking classes in it. But he also wore his heart on his sleeve, and couldn't hide his emotions very well. The eyes gave everything away. 

_Those eyes..._

Those eyes, staring up at Ed as he moved inside him, drawing in a deep breath every time Ed pushed into him, caressing his face, whispering...

Ed's phone buzzed, and he looked down to see a text from an unknown number. 

**Heard any good jokes lately, Riddle Man?**

A chill ran down Ed's spine, and he angrily pushed the phone app to call the number back. It rang, and rang, and rang...

"Well, hello there." The familiar voice made Ed draw in a sharp breath. "Funny. Never thought I'd be graced with a call from you."

"What do you want?" Ed snarled.

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that..."

"Fucking answer me!"

Jerome snickered. "Such a temper. I'll bet you're an animal in bed. How come _we_ never hooked up, Eddie baby?"

"Listen to me, you fucking clown..."

"Oh hush. What I want is simple. Chaos, madness..."

Ed narrowed his eyes. "You're not getting Oswald back."

"Mmm, see now, you're not looking at the big picture. Ozzie and I always end up together. We just...fit. If you know what I mean." Jerome giggled. "He's dynamite in the sack, isn't he? Have you let him fuck you yet? He's damn good at it. Our Ozzie sure knows how to use that weapon of his..."

"Stop. Talking."

"Oh, but Eddie baby, you called me," Jerome purred. "I think you want to know more about my favorite birdy. You know he likes having his hair pulled? Try it sometime. I once had him on my lap, and I grabbed a fistful of his hair as I fucked him... I bit his neck too, he loved it. Play with him, Riddle Man. He likes it rough...oh, the way he screamed when I sunk my teeth into him...it was _delicious_. Does he still have the scar?"

"Professor Carlyle." Ed rubbed his eyes, his head pounding so hard that he felt dizzy. "Tell me what happened."

"Aww, you're no fun. No more dirty talk for the Riddle Man. But oh, what fun Ozzie and I had with that teacher. Our Pengy knows how to have a good time. Sure, we got a poetry fanatic to help us out, a regular Billy Shakespeare..."

"It was Oswald's idea?"

Jerome sighed. "You're kinda boring me, Eddie. Let's talk about something else. How about...blowing up maps? Sound like fun?"

"Fuck off," Ed snapped, and hung up. 

A few seconds passed, then another text arrived. 

**Tell birdbrain I'll see him reaaaal soon. We've got... unfinished business. Hahahaha**

"Mr. Nygma? Is that you?"

Ed looked up to see a familiar looking student pull up in a golf cart. "Yeah?"

The young man smiled. "I'm Jimmy Peters. I'm an associate of the Penguin...are you heading to his apartment? I can give you a ride."

Ed nodded and stomped over to the vehicle. He was done guessing - it was time to sort all this out.

++++++++

_Mr. Nygma is on his way, sir._

Oswald read the text from Jimmy and set his phone down, pacing in his living room before heading to the kitchen to fuss with the flower arrangement that Ivy had given him. He'd left her store with a renewed plan to unveil himself as Ed's admirer and was feeling far more confident about it. Enigma was still going to be a lavish production - it was Oswald's brainchild, after all - but Ivy's perspective added a more gentle, intimate approach with a touch of humility, just in case Ed would be angry about the secrecy. 

Still, he only wanted to cause Ed happiness, and Ivy had a point about being with Jerome while planning to court Ed's affections. Maybe talking to Jerome would actually help things smooth over. After all, he was obviously upset about being dumped for another guy. 

Oswald snorted to himself as he imagined trying to reason with his ex boyfriend. Was that even possible?

A sudden knock at his door made Oswald jump, and he hurried to the door. "Edward, I'm here...just a second..." Oswald opened the door with a hopeful grin. "I really should get you a key..."

"Oh, I'd love a key to your place, Pengy."

Oswald's grin faded as he stared at Jerome, who smirked and casually walked past him into the living room. The redhead gazed at his surroundings with great interest as Oswald stared at him in stunned silence. "Mmm. Nice place. Lots of space." He looked over Oswald and licked his lower lip. "How's tricks, Ozzie baby?"

"What...what the fuck are you doing here?" Oswald sputtered, letting the door shut behind him. 

Jerome shrugged. "Was in the neighborhood, figured I'd drop by."

"Bullshit!"

"Well. There's no need for rudeness." Jerome narrowed his eyes. "You're a hard guy to reach."

"I don't want to talk to you!" Oswald stomped up to him, his eyes wide with fury. "Get out."

"Nah." Jerome cocked his head and smiled. "Mmm. You _do_ have a scar. Right... there." He pointed at Oswald's neck, giggling as the other man flinched. "Jumpy birdy."

"You have to leave," Oswald nearly pleaded. "I'm expecting someone."

"Riddle Man?"

"He's the Riddler!" Oswald spat. "Now get out!"

"Aww, but I haven't told you my news yet."

Oswald threw his hands up. "What, then?"

Jerome smirked. "We're gonna be partners, you and me. Dr. Strange is gonna have us working reaaaal close together on his project."

"...What?"

"Yeah." Jerome licked his lips. "We're gonna be seeing a lot of each other in these upcoming months, Ozzie baby. So I'm thinking we should make nice."

Oswald squinted. "Make nice? Meaning what?"

"Meaning you stop ignoring me," Jerome growled, leaning in close. "Nobody ignores me. Especially not you."

"You just want an excuse to harass me." Oswald scoffed. "If you think I'm actually going to partner with you, you're fucking crazy."

"Too late, pretty birdy..." The redhead looked him over again and smirked. "How about we start now? I can think of a few ways for you to prove just how nice you can be."

"Jerome, are you out of your fucking mind? I'm not..." A sudden pounding at the door made Oswald jump. "Oh shit...Ed!"

"Oswald!" Ed sounded furious. " Open the door _now_. We need to talk."

Jerome began giggling and playfully covered his mouth. "Be careful, pretty birdy," he whispered. "Riddle Man is maaaaad..."


	16. Chapter 16

"Oswald!" Ed snarled and smacked his palm against the door. "I know you're home! Open the door!"

Oswald shoved at Jerome, but the redhead had planted his feet and merely swayed. "Get out of here! If Ed sees you..."

"Mmm, but I want him to see." Jerome trailed a finger over Oswald's neck and giggled when Oswald smacked his hand away. "Aww, play nice."

"I am not fucking playing anything!" Oswald lunged at his ex, only to have Jerome pull him close to his chest. Oswald flailed as Jerome reached into his pocket and pulled out a rag, pressing it to Oswald's face. 

Oswald grunted and pushed at Jerome's arm, but his ex was surprisingly strong and held him tight. Everything started to go fuzzy, and Oswald closed his eyes and groaned as his body began to weaken. 

"Shhh...time for my pretty birdy to go sleepy." The redhead snickered as Oswald's movements slowed and he slackened in Jerome's arms. "There you go...I've got plans for you and me, Pengy..."

++++++++

Ed slammed his hands against Oswald's door, his inner voice screaming so loudly that he could barely think. He could have sworn that he heard an all too familiar laugh from inside his boyfriend's apartment.

_It's them, laughing at us..._

"Shut up." Ed reached into his pocket for his switchblade, ready to pick the lock when he felt something press against his back. 

"You. Stop."

Carefully Ed slid the switchblade up his sleeve and slowly turned around. A familiar looking student had a gun pointed at his chest, his gaze slightly wavering as Ed stared at the smile painted over the young man's lips with bright red lipstick. "Jerome sent you."

"Um. Yes." 

With a flourish, Ed took out his switchblade and pointed it at the student. "Do you know who I am?" 

The young man cleared his throat. "Jerome said you're the Riddle Man."

"I'm the goddamn Riddler," Ed snapped. "Who the fuck are you?"

"...Me?"

"Yes! Your fucking name!" Ed demanded, stepping forward. 

"M-my name is Thomas." He took a deep breath and pressed the gun to Ed's chest. "You're coming with me."

"Oh, am I?" Ed smirked, and quickly grabbed the gun, twisting it out of Thomas's hand. 

"Oh shit!" Thomas yelped and turned to run off, but was met with the sharp end of a katana. 

"Hi there." Victor grinned at the terrified student, who stumbled back to avoid the blade. "We meet again. Couldn't stay away, huh?"

"Where have you been?" Ed cocked Thomas's gun and glared at Victor. "This place is probably crawling with Jerome's cronies." 

"I had class!" Victor frowned as Ed made quick work of the lock on Oswald's door with his switchblade. "Bossman won't like having to redo his locks, Nygma."

"Don't fucking care." Ed kicked the door open, Thomas's gun in one hand and his switchblade in the other.

Oswald was nowhere to be found. His furniture was slightly rearranged, with the couch askew and pillows tossed onto the floor. Ed reached down to straighten a lampshade, his mind racing. 

_Signs of a struggle._

_Oswald...oh god._

_\- Be quiet. He's fine._

_If he's fine, then where is he?_

The sliding glass door was wide open, but Edward's attention was on the writing left on Oswald's coffee table in red marker. 

**Hello Riddle Man! What's black and white and red all over? Hahahaha**

_Fuck!_ "Zsasz! Get in here!"

Victor entered and sheathed his katana. "Where's bossman?"

Ed pointed at the table. "That joker took him. Where's Thomas?"

"Oh, he's being looked after, no worries." Victor looked over the table and frowned. "We'll find Penguin. He'll be fine."

"You'd better fucking hope so." Ed pointed his switchblade at Victor, his hand shaking. "Because if he's not..."

"Penguin is the smartest guy I know. I have no idea how Jerome got in, but believe me, I'm gonna find out." Victor opened his jacket, revealing a small array of knives and guns. "C'mon. Let's go pay that clown a visit, shall we?"

++++++++

"Ugh." Oswald opened his eyes and saw that he was lying face down on a worn, familiar mattress with torn sheets. "Oh, for... Jerome!"

"Wakey wakey!" Jerome snapped a Polaroid and quickly removed the picture, waving it around. "I'm gonna call this one...'Before'." He playfully smacked the picture on Oswald's leg and laughed hysterically. "Nice to have you back, Pengy."

"What the fuck?" Oswald tried to move, but the room spun wildly and he collapsed back onto the bed. "Ugh...what...what did you...?"

"A little concoction courtesy of our Scarecrow friend." Jerome snorted at the look of terror on Oswald's face. "Don't worry, Ozzie baby, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I just needed to give you something that'll make you a calm birdy for our big trip."

"...Trip?"

Jerome spread his hands. "First class, baby! You'll be flying Air Valeska, courtesy of yours truly." He crawled onto the bed and flicked his switchblade, pressing the tip of the blade against his temple. "You and me, Pengy... we're gonna go to beautiful Italy and skin that Sofia Falcone bitch alive."

Oswald groaned. "Why in God's name...."

"Think of it as a...bonding exercise." Jerome snickered. "We'll save her skin. Maybe craft our very own Italian luggage out of it."

"Charming." Oswald managed to sit up and held his head. "Jerome, give me the antidote to whatever you gave me and take me home."

"Mmm, I'm afraid that's not an option. You and me, we've got unfinished business." 

"Unfinished business." Oswald sighed. 

_Damn._

Jerome was right. What he and Jerome had was...a sort of partnership. Right from the start, there was something there. Jerome scared the hell out of everyone at Gotham U, including Dean Loeb, but Oswald had never feared him. When they'd first met at freshman orientation, Jerome had taunted Oswald, mocking his limp and his unkempt hair. Oswald had responded by grabbing his cane and whacking Jerome in the knees, sending him to the floor. After Jerome stopped laughing, he got up and quickly put his arm around Oswald, declaring that he was "loads of fun" and inviting him to his place. 

The first time they kissed was at a party, after Jerome tried to electrocute everyone by attaching a toaster to a blow-up doll and throwing it in the pool. Oswald got the sense that he did it to impress him. The first time they'd had sex, Oswald was surprised by how enthusiastic and surprisingly attentive Jerome was. He truly wanted Oswald, and clearly cared for him. 

And now here he was, not wanting to give Oswald up. 

A thought occurred to Oswald. It was so incredibly deranged, but it would explain so much. "Jerome...are you doing all this because..."

"Hmmm?"

"I'm going to ask you a serious question." Oswald looked up, meeting his ex boyfriend's steady gaze. "Are you in love with me?"

++++++++

Ed stared straight ahead, keeping his gun trained on Butch as they sped toward Jerome's house. He'd gone from being suspicious to furious to downright terrified. That clown was doing God knows what to his boyfriend, and time was running out to stop him.

_Or this is a trap._

"It's not," Ed muttered to himself.

"What?" Butch's gaze darted over to him, then back to the road. 

Ed pressed his lips together. "Nothing. Drive faster."

"I'm practically going eighty!"

"You heard the man." Victor waved his gun at Butch from the backseat. "Drive faster."

Butch eyed him in the rearview mirror gripped the steering wheel tightly. "You know, I drive better when I don't have two guns pointed at me."

"I'm about to see how well you drive with a fucking bullet in your foot." Ed pressed the barrel of his gun to Butch's throat. "Drive. Faster."

Butch cursed and pushed his foot down. "Ed, I liked you better when you were just a weird guy. Now you're completely insane!"

"Just fucking drive!" Ed shouted, and Victor whooped as Butch sped down the street.

++++++++

Jerome scowled at his ex and scratched his head. "Say that again, Pengy?"

"Are you in love with me?" Oswald repeated.

The redhead stared at Oswald, then fell onto the bed, holding his sides as he rolled back and forth with peals of laughter.

"Okay, okay, dumb question." Oswald nudged Jerome with his foot to try to get him to stop laughing. It almost worked. "Okay! Jeez, you're not in love with me, which is good, but...I still owe you an apology." 

Jerome stopped laughing and tilted his head to stare at the other man. "You're weird tonight, Ozzie."

"I'm being serious!" Oswald tried to sit up, but ended up falling back onto the pillows. "Ugh. When does this shit wear off?"

Jerome shrugged. "A few hours, a few days..."

"A few _days_?"

"I'm not a science guy, Ozzie. And what do ya mean, apologize?"

Oswald exhaled slowly. "I shouldn't have hooked up with you when I had feelings for someone else. Maybe that's why you got all crazy...well, crazier...with the parade and the break-in and everything. I care about you, Jerome, and I like you, but I love Ed. I should have told you that sooner."

"Hmm." Jerome set his knife on the nightstand. "Well, as jokes go, I've gotta say that I've heard better."

"It's not a joke." Oswald closed his eyes and groaned. The room was still spinning. "You didn't steal a plane, did you?"

"Well..."

"Jerome!"

The redhead snorted. "Relax, Pengy. I'll return it and the crew safe and sound."

Oswald opened his eyes and smiled. "You're very resourceful. Always liked that about you."

Jerome cocked his head. "You're really serious about this whole apology thing."

"I am." Oswald sighed. "I made a mess."

"It's Gotham, beautiful. We're all messes here." Jerome reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial. "Got that antidote you want right here. All you gotta do is one little thing to get it."

"No sexual favors, Jerome."

"Aww..."

Oswald held his hand out. "No sex, Jerome. I'm serious. I'm with Ed now."

"So, a good fuck is clearly out of the question, and if a blowjob is also off the table...?"

"Yes!"

"Fine, fine." Jerome smirked. "How about a kiss, then?"

"For God's sake..."

"That a no? Too bad. Well, Ozzie, if you're not gonna play, then it's time for Plan B." Jerome uncapped the vial and drank it down with a flourish. 

Oswald stared at him in shock. "You..."

"Mmm." Jerome smacked his lips. "Just like Mom used to make." He snorted at Oswald's expression and tossed the vial to the floor. "Don't worry, Pengy. I think you're gonna like Plan B." Jerome smirked. "Or should I say... Plan J?"

"The Penguin awaits, unsure of his fate!"

Oswald turned to see Jervis Tetch enter the bedroom, holding three pairs of handcuffs.

"Holy shit." Oswald stared at Jerome, his heart racing. "What are you..."

"I had a feeling you wouldn't be up for a trip to Italy, not without your goon and your... _boyfriend_. But good news, Pengy...I've decided to make peace with everybody. We're alllll going on a fun little vacation...you, me, your two guests, and mine. A nice little Legion of Horribles." Jerome cackled at Oswald's expression. "It's gonna be so much fun."

++++++++

"Finally!" Ed nearly jumped out of the car as soon as Butch hit the brakes. He immediately ran up the steps to the Valeska house, ignoring Victor's shout to wait for him. He tried the front door, cursing when he discovered it was locked.

_Oswald._

He could be getting tortured right now, having his beautiful skin touched by that horrible clown...

_I'm here, baby, you'll be okay..._

Quickly Ed moved to a nearby window, ready to shoot or kick through it. Before he could make his move, the front door swung open, and a girl in a harlequin mask stepped onto the front porch, lazily swinging a baseball bat. She looked at Ed and giggled. "Hiya, mister. Wanna play?"

Ed pointed the gun at her, making her freeze in place. 

"Uh oh," she whispered. "Bullets beat bat."

"I am a warning, avoided by all," Ed snarled, keeping his gun trained on her. "I can be felt, but not touched at all. I can be seen in lines on faces, and I always live in troubled places. What am I?" 

The girl pulled up her mask, frowning at Ed. "That's a weird joke, mister."

"It's a riddle, bitch. And the answer is pain." He cocked his gun and sneered. "I dare you to try to hit me."

"Hey, I wanna play!" Victor ran forward, katana in hand, and sliced through the bat with ease. The girl stared down at her halved weapon, her painted mouth open in shock.

"Score! This baby's sharp as shit! Hey girlie, wanna help me test to see how this bad boy cuts through bone? Aww." Victor pouted as she ran off screaming down the street. "I thought I'd get to have some fun with her."

"Oswald!" Ed shouted, and ran inside the house, Victor following close behind. Another student in clown makeup ran out, only to turn heel and sprint away when he saw Ed's gun and Victor's katana. Victor tore after him, leaving Ed to follow the sound of Jerome's laughter up the stairs. 

His inner voice screamed Oswald's name over and over as Ed ran faster, cursing at himself to get to the man he loved, the man he'd loved for a year and the man he wanted to spend his life with...

_Please be okay please be okay I love you I love you I love you I'm sorry..._

"I fear your arrival was anticipated."

Ed turned to see Jonathan Crane hold up a spray can, and then there was a mist of something foul, and everything went dark.


	17. Chapter 17

"Why can't penguins fly?" a voice whispered in Ed's ear.

Ed groaned and tried to open his eyes. There was a hum that surrounded him, oddly familiar, and someone was hovering over him, breathing against his neck. "Why. Can't. Penguins. Fly?" the voice repeated, the low teasing tone making Ed's throat tighten. 

_Jerome._

The last thing Ed remembered was rushing into the Valeska house, running up the stairs to get to Oswald. Before he could, Jonathan Crane had doused him with something, and whatever it was, it was still in effect - Ed felt like he was in underwater and he couldn't focus. 

_Think, dammit. Where are we?_

Ed opened his eyes.

The low him was of an engine, apparently, because Ed saw that he was currently sitting in a plush airplane seat. A window seat, no less, with a view of Gotham thousands of miles beneath. He looked around the plane, but all he could see was Jerome Valeska grinning at him. There was no sign of Oswald or Victor, or anyone else. 

"What...where is Oswald?" Ed rasped, and tried to sit up. The world immediately spun around him, and he stumbled back into his seat. 

"Now, now, no need to get up just yet," Jerome soothed, pushing Ed back into his seat. "In fact, you might want to give it a few hours. Buuuut you haven't answered my question, Eddie baby - Why can't penguins fly?"

"Where is he?" Ed demanded.

Jerome sighed. "It's a _joke_ , Riddle Man. Ever hear of one?"

Ed stared up at him, wanting nothing more than to bash the other man's head in. _"Where is he?"_

After dramatically rolling his eyes, Jerome pointed at a seat a few rows ahead. Ed lifted his head and saw Oswald settled against his own seat, fast asleep. 

"Oswald!" Ed fumbled with his seatbelt and staggered closer, clutching onto the seats for dear life until he could crawl into the seat next to his boyfriend. Oswald stirred and mumbled to himself as Ed pulled him close and kissed his forehead. 

"Ed," Oswald mumbled, his eyes fluttering. 

"I'm here, baby," Ed whispered, stroking his hair. He clutched onto the man he loved, his stomach churning with guilt. Oswald was a complicated man, with tremendous influence and power. He was ruthless, cunning, and brilliant. But Ed knew he was also generous, loving, and sensitive. Oswald Cobblepot was many things, but the idea of him teaming up with Jerome to torture Ed seemed ludicrous now. How could he think that this beautiful creature was capable of something so cruel as what Barbara suggested? "God, Oswald...I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault." Oswald sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Ugh, my head..."

Jerome crossed his arms and huffed. "Jeez, you two just suck at humor. Why can't penguins fly? The answer is, 'Because they can't afford a plane ticket'." He snickered. "Get it?"

Ed glared at him. "What did you do?"

"Relax, Green Guy. Your sleepy concoction will wear off by the time we land in Italy."

"Italy," Ed repeated. "You want to go after Sofia Falcone, don't you? You think it'll help you get Oswald back."

Jerome snorted. "You want Bird Brain so bad? Keep him." He leaned close, sneering at Oswald. "But no one ignores me. And I don't get _dropped_ for some pathetic dweeb who couldn't hurt a fly."

"...Couldn't hurt a fly?" Ed threw back his head and laughed hysterically, startling Jerome. He stood up in shock as Oswald smirked up at him.

"He has no idea who we are!" Ed shouted at the window, where his reflection stared back at him. 

Other Ed gestured frantically. _"Get us out of here!"_

"We're on a fucking plane!" Ed retorted to himself. "I don't suppose you have any bright ideas, Mr. Genius..."

_"Find out **exactly** what Crane used on us and Oswald! And find out where Victor is!"_

"Fine!" Ed turned his attention to Jerome, who watched him in utter fascination. "Other Ed wants to know what you drugged us with. And what did you do to Victor?"

"Victor!" Oswald gasped, and looked wildly around the plane. "Oh god..."

"How many Eds you got in there, Riddle Man?" Jerome breathed. "Impressive. You can tell your other half that you got a nice little cocktail of..." Jerome held up his palm and squinted. "Mmm, hard to read, but I think it says sodium pentothal, diphenhydramine, blah blah...let's just call it "fun juice". And as for your bald buddy....Well, most of him is in the cargo area." Jerome cackled at Oswald's horrified expression. "Ooooh that face! No, Pengy, he's right here. Lookie." The redhead pointed to the rear of the plane, where Victor was sprawled over two seats, softly snoring. "He's fine, see? Just catching some Z's. Get it? Victor Zsasz, catching some..."

Ed gathered all his strength to hurl himself at Jerome, knocking them both to the floor. 

"Stop! Ed! Jerome!" Oswald frantically clawed at his seatbelt, groaning as the world seemed to spin around him. 

Jerome laughed in frenzied delight as he rolled Ed onto his back and punched him in the stomach, making the taller man wheeze and curl up on the floor. Pain and nausea shot through Ed's body like electricity as Oswald cried out as if he was the one who had been struck. 

"Aww, what's the matter, Riddler, you don't like my jokes?" Jerome taunted as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. "Well, I don't like riddles, so I guess we're even. Well...maybe not yet." 

"Jerome, stop!" Oswald shouted, and lurched himself at his ex. The redhead sidestepped and snickered as Oswald stumbled onto another chair.

"Now, now, birdy, let us have our little chit chat." Jerome smirked, then kicked Ed square in the chest. Ed shouted in pain and tried to grab at his assailant's feet, but his vision blurred and he could only clutch at the floor. Jerome hooted and drew back his foot for another kick, and Ed stiffened, his brain screaming in pain and for him to get up, get up, GET UP...

"Stop! Stop! Jerome!" Oswald jumped to his feet and held out his arms. "You're right! You're right, okay, I'm sorry."

Jerome paused, his foot hovering over Ed's face. "What's that, birdy?"

"You were right. He's nothing, a nobody. Especially compared to you. I mean, look at all this!" Oswald spread his hands. "You got a plane and everything!" He swayed on his feet before clutching at a nearby chair to hold himself up. "We'll go to Italy, just like you said. It'll be fun taking Sofia Falcone apart, and I want to do that with you." Oswald licked his lips. "I want to do everything with you."

"Huh. Everything?" Jerome smirked and lowered himself close to Ed's face. "Watch this, Riddle Man." He stood up and preened, approaching Oswald with a knowing grin. "Everything is my favorite thing to do," he purred, running a finger over Oswald's neck. "Maybe it's time to give you some new scars."

"Maybe," Oswald whispered, craning his neck to give the other man more access. He pulled the redhead close and nuzzled him, taking a deep breath. "Mmm, you smell good...like cinnamon and smoke." 

Ed watched in shock as Jerome buried his face in Oswald's neck and inhaled deeply. "No...get away..." Ed muttered, his inner voice whimpering at the sight. 

Suddenly the redhead froze, then exhaled and stepped back, grinning widely. "Wow...that's...a nice cologne..."

"Fuck you," Oswald spat, and punched him in the jaw. "Sit the fuck down!" 

Jerome immediately obeyed, holding his face but staring at Oswald dreamily. "Anything you say..."

"Idiot." Oswald dropped to the floor, crawling to his boyfriend. "Oh, god, Ed! Are you okay?"

"Fine...I'm fine." Ed let Oswald lead him to a seat, eyeing Jerome cautiously. "Did you just drug him?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda. Ivy spritzed me with one of her creations."

Ed stumbled onto a seat, unsure if he'd just misheard the other man. ".... What?"

"It's a combination of chemicals that...it's like a mind control serum," Oswald explained with a shrug.

Ed stared at his boyfriend. "Why would she do that?"

Oswald sighed. "I was going to tell you something when I got home. Before I left her shop, Ivy sprayed me with her homemade cologne and said to tell you to remain calm before I told you that..." Oswald sighed heavily. "Oh god."

"Tell me what?" Ed asked slowly, carefully getting to his feet."

Oswald swallowed hard. "Before I told you that I...I..."

"Boss?" 

Both men looked up to see Victor staggering toward them and groggily rubbing his eyes. "Hey...my ears popped. Do you have any gum, boss?"

"Victor!" Oswald grinned, the flood of relief making him feel even more lightheaded. "Are you okay?"

"I guess. I'd be better if I had some gum." Victor looked at Ed hopefully. "You got any?"

"I'd like some gum," Jerome chimed in. 

"You shut the fuck up," Ed snarled.

Oswald pulled himself to his feet with a grunt. "Victor! I will get you some gum. Can you please get the pilot to turn the plane around?"

"On it." Victor dutifully headed to the cockpit while Ed approached Jerome.

"The antidote," he demanded, grabbing Jerome's shirt and shaking him. "Where's the antidote?"

Jerome's head lolled like a doll's while he just grinned at Ed. "You're kinda pretty," he sang, and giggled. 

Oswald collapsed into a chair, overcome with dizziness. "Answer him, Jerome."

"Ahhh. Sorry, Riddler...don't have it with me. Wears off soon, though." Jerome shrugged. "Side effects include drowsiness, an inability to laugh at jokes, an affinity for the color green..."

"Be quiet, Jerome," Oswald mumbled. "Go to sleep."

"Yup." Jerome blinked a few times, then rested his head against the window and closed his eyes. 

Ed let go of him and stepped back, feeling dizzy himself. He was still under the effects of the drug that Crane doused him with, and his mind would not stop racing. Plus his body was aching from Jerome's kicks and punches. He needed to rest. 

Carefully Ed made his way to the seat next to Oswald, who was already falling back asleep. 

"Need to tell you..." Oswald muttered, his eyes slightly rolling. "Have to tell you everything..."

"Tell me later," Ed said softly, gently brushed a lock of hair from Oswald's forehead. 

Oswald rested his head against Ed's chest, his eyes already closed. "Please don't hate me," he whispered. 

"Never, baby. I'm crazy about you." Ed wrapped his arms around the man he loved and smiled as the view outside changed. The plane had been turned around. 

They were going home.

++++++++

Ed opened his eyes.

He was in Oswald's bedroom, in his bed, wrapped up in his silky black sheets. Ed looked hopefully to his side, but Oswald wasn't there. The apartment was quiet, with no sound of Oswald talking on his phone or humming to himself, as he often did. Ed was alone. 

Ed frowned and reached across the bed to the space where Oswald usually slept, but the sheets were cool and empty. His hand slid across paper, and he pulled out a note in familiar handwriting. 

**Riddler -**

**I didn't want to wake you, as I felt like you needed the rest. Am I okay? The truth is, I'm embarrassed, since I can't believe I ever dated you-know-who. One day we'll look back on this and laugh, I hope.**

**Behind every great man is a greater man, and I believe that is you. Everything I foresee in my future, I feel like I can accomplish with you by my side.**

**Yours,**

**Penguin.**

Ed smiled and held the letter close. There was something about the way it was written..

_\- Let me look at it!_

_Later, hush!_

Something buzzed, and Ed sat up, reaching for his glasses and his phone. There were a few vague threatening messages from Jim Gordon and a series of random emojis from an unknown number (Jerome, most likely), and a message from Oswald asking him to meet him in the quad once he was awake and dressed.

Ed checked the date. April 1st. Whatever was in that Crane concoction knocked had them out for days. 

_And today was..._

"April Fool's Day," Ed murmured. 

Every year Gotham University had a human poker game tournament at the quad, with participating students pinning a playing card to their shirt and arranging themselves in playing hands. Students were told not to gamble with actual money, but they did it anyway, and some of the more flamboyant attendees of GU dressed as characters in a traditional deck. On April Fool's Day, the campus was filled with royalty, jesters, and even some anatomical heart costumes. 

And today, Ed's admirer would be there. 

It had to be Oswald, Ed told himself as he got up to start getting dressed. It just had to be. 

_But Jerome does crazy shit for attention. He stole a fucking plane! He could have done all of this!_

"Quiet," Ed growled at himself, and checked his reflection. He'd decided to wear his nicest outfit, one of many gifts from Oswald - black silk shirt and tie, black pants, and a green blazer. He felt sexy and powerful in it, but something was missing...

Ed spotted the green bowler hat from the St. Patrick's Day parade and put it on, smirking at his reflection. 

He was ready to meet his admirer.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This year has been brutal. I wish nothing but the best for all of you in 2021. ♥️

Oswald paced. It was noon, and he'd gotten a text that Ed had already left his apartment. He was on his way. 

_Too late to back out now..._

It was Oswald's nature to fret, and he couldn't stop imagining every possible outcome. Ed would be thrilled, or furious. Or would he just be disappointed that his admirer was already the man he'd been dating, not someone new and fascinating, and not someone whose jealous ex kidnapped him...

"You okay, boss?" Victor asked, staring down a few gawking freshmen. Campus police had searched everyone before they could participate in the games, but Victor prided himself on being a menacing presence even without his weapons. 

"No," Oswald replied sharply, collapsing into a nearby lounge chair. "I'm not okay. Ugh, why did I leave that note? I admitted to everything!"

Victor frowned. "Huh? I thought this was the big reveal."

"I put it in a code...god, I'm such an idiot!"

"A code?" Victor frowned. "What kind of...whoa." His attention diverted to a seriously cute redhead girl bouncing up to them, followed by underclassmen carrying huge bouquets of green, black, and purple flowers. 

"Ivy!" Oswald scrambled to his feet. "Right on time!"

"Pengy! Oh my god!" Ivy hurried over to Oswald and planted kisses on his cheeks. "You look so handsome!"

Oswald blushed a bit under her praise. He'd picked out his favorite suit, all black with ornate purple designs, a black shirt, and a purple tie. "Thank you, Ivy."

"Here!" She pulled out a green rose from one of her lackey's arrangements and out it in Oswald's lapel. "He'll love it," she gushed. 

"Not sprayed with anything... suggestive, I hope?" Oswald asked with a wink. 

"Nah, you don't need it. Not after you saved him from your crazy ex-boyfriend!"

"Thanks to you and your cologne! I owe you my life, and the life of the man I love."

Ivy giggled. "Aww, Pengy..."

"Uhh boss?" Victor adjusted his tie and approached them with a grin. "You gonna introduce me to your friend?"

"Of course, where are my manners?" Oswald gestured. "Victor Zsasz, Ivy Pepper."

Ivy looked Victor over and raised an eyebrow. "Well, hello, handsome." She reached behind her, plucking a black rose from a nearby bouquet and handed it to him. "This suits you. Black roses are so elegant, don't you think?"

"Absolutely." Victor beamed at her and put the rose in his lapel. "You go to GU?"

She blushed under his gaze. "Yeah, I'm majoring in biology. How about you?"

"Psychology." Victor licked his lower lip. "Mostly night classes." 

"Me too." Ivy tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and grinned. "I like to sleep in."

Victor bit his lower lip. "Maybe we can get a late breakfast sometime."

"I'd like that," Ivy purred.

"Oh, come _on_." 

Harvey Bullock approached the small group, snorting at their disgusted expressions. "Aww, did I rain on your little freak parade? So sorry." He paused to take a swig out of his flask, the looked over Ivy with a lecherous smirk as he licked his lips. "A hot piece like you going on a date with Zsasz, of all people? And what's with all the flowers, Cobblepot? You and Nygma planning some kind of gay wedding out here?"

Victor instinctively reached for his katana before realizing that he'd left it at his apartment. Harvey noticed and cackled. "What's the matter, Z? Not so tough without your weapons, huh?"

"Mmph. I don't like you," Ivy glared at him and reached into her purse.

Harvey smirked. "Girly, unless you're going to give me your number, you shouldn't..."

"Hush." Ivy sprayed him with a small green bottle and quickly put it back into her purse before campus police could notice. 

Oswald snickered. "Did you just...?"

"Yup." Ivy smiled at Harvey. "I think you were just about to apologize to Victor."

"...Yeahhhh." Harvey turned to Victor, his pupils so dilated that his eyes looked black. "Sorry, dude," he sang, swaying on his feet. 

"Tell him that you're a douchebag," Ivy demanded. 

"Yup," Harvey nodded. "I'm a big douche."

Victor raised an eyebrow. "Very cool. Hey, Harvey...I'll accept your apology if you go piss on the campus police over there, the ones standing by Dean Loeb?" 

"Ohhh, yeah. Okay. Doing that now." Harvey stumbled over the group of unsuspecting upperclassman, already undoing his pants.

"Ugh, what a tool." Ivy rolled her eyes, then turned her attention to the students arranging the bouquets. "So! We have every kind of purple, green, and black flowers you can think of...roses, purple calla lillies, bellflowers...you name it, we've got it! Your guy is gonna flip."

Oswald watched as the students set up the flowers in the shape of a black and green question mark in the middle of a black and purple heart. "Do you think he'll like it?" he asked softly. 

"Definitely." Ivy squealed and bounced a bit. "Oooh, this is going to be so romantic!"

++++++++

_Stay calm, Ed._

_\- How can I possibly..._

_Just be calm! Be cool, for once._

Other Ed fretted, but went silent as Ed walked through the crowd, ignoring curious stares and a few suggestive glances. They were appreciated, certainly, but he was spoken for by the sexiest man in Gotham, the King of GU himself... Oswald Cobblepot.

_\- But the letter..._

Ed sighed deeply and stopped in his tracks. "What about it?" he demanded.

Other Ed flailed. _\- The code! The first letter of each word in the letter Oswald left for us...it said 'I am the one behind everything'. That could mean he's confessing to doing all this to humiliate us!_

"That's insane," Ed muttered, and kept moving. It was a crazy idea, with no merit, and there was no possible way...

"Well, this is just _awkward_ , isn't it?"

Ed stopped in his tracks. That voice would probably haunt him forever. "Jerome," he seethed, and whirled to see the redhead baring his trademark grin. He was decked in an all red suit with Joker cards randomly pinned all over it. "How the fuck are you not in prison?"

"Pulled a few strings." Jerome looked Ed over and licked his lips. "Looking good, Riddler. Oswald's a lucky guy. And you probably know you are too."

"If you go anywhere near him..." Ed began, but Jerome held up a hand. 

"Ah, ah, no need for that. See, when I woke up in that big plane all by myself, I had a... revelation, if you will. It's not Oswald I want...it's an audience. Oswald was a great audience, don't get me wrong, and he's an absolute tiger in the sack..." Jerome snorted as Ed's eyes widened in rage. "Oh, calm down, we both know it's true. But what he's got with you, Eddie baby, all that true love stuff? Not for me. So, I'm gonna set my sights a little higher, see about making Gotham mine, and you two lovebirds can carry on your merry way."

Ed narrowed his eyes. "So you'll leave us alone?"

Jerome snorted. "Go play house with your birdy, Riddler. I'm not the kind to settle down." He smirked. "Buuuuut if you two ever think about having a nice little threesome..."

Ed bared his teeth and pulled himself to his full height, towering over the other man. "Get the _fuck_ away from me. Now."

"Oooh, that anger." Jerome shivered. "Gotta say, I'm a fan. Until then, my green friend...adieu." The redhead winked and wandered to a group of unsuspecting high school students taking a campus tour. 

"...Joker." Ed looked over the crowd, searching for some kind of sign. He couldn't see Oswald, and he wasn't even sure what he should be looking for, but figured he'd know it when he saw it. 

"Whoa, check it out." A nearby student nudged his friend and pointed to something at the north end of the quad. "Is that part of the game?"

Ed craned his neck and gasped. A path had been created with black, green, and purple flowers, leading into a small clearing behind a group of trees. 

"It's for me," Ed whispered, and hurried closer. 

The sun shone down on him as he followed the path, gasping when he saw the question mark and the heart. It was them - his admirer, someone who arranged all of this, everything, so Ed would feel loved and special.

_Please be Oswald. Please. Please be the man I love. Please, I can't take it if it's not..._

"Edward?" 

Ed turned, his eyes tearing at the sound of his lover's voice. "Oswald," he whispered. "Are you...?"

"Yes." Oswald laughed, his eyes shining with tears. "It's me, I'm...I'm the one who's been sending you the riddles. I'm your admirer."

"Oh..." Ed's knees buckled, and he stumbled a bit. "I...you..."

"I'm so sorry," Oswald breathed, and rushed over to his boyfriend, taking his face in his hands. "Ed, I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I never should have been with anyone else."

"It's okay," Ed whispered, reaching up to grasp at Oswald's wrists. He smiled and leaned in to place soft kisses along his boyfriend's jaw. "My clever Oswald. You're mine now. All mine."

"Yours." Oswald gazed at Ed, utterly spellbound. "I love you, Edward Nygma. I've loved you for so long..."

"I love you too." Ed swept Oswald into his arms and kissed him. "We both love you." He winced at his slip. "Shit. I mean, I..."

"It's okay." Oswald kissed Ed's cheek. "I know what you mean. I love both of you as well. All of you."

Ed sniffed into Oswald's shoulder. "You do?"

"Neuroforecasting, remember?" Oswald kissed Ed's ear, grinning when it made his boyfriend shiver. "I love everything about you. You're cunning, and brilliant, and beautiful..."

"That's you." Ed sniffed again and held Oswald tighter. 

Oswald chuckled. "It's _us_ , my love. Nothing can ever stop us. My beautiful Riddler."

"Always," Ed agreed, leaning close to press his mouth against Oswald's. He moaned into the kiss, his long fingers threading through Oswald's dark hair. "Mine," he growled once they finally broke apart. "The King of Gotham is mine. Forever."

"Absolutely." Oswald licked his lower lip. "Come home with me. I want to share my kingdom with you."

Ed laughed softly and nodded. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

++++++++

_Five months later_

Ed woke to the sound of laughter. 

The sun was just breaking over the horizon in Gotham, but the light had not yet reached their apartment. Oswald was already sitting up in bed, reading over his texts with dark glee. "Such fools." He glanced over at Ed, then tsked. "Ah, sorry, my dearest. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Mmm, s'fine." Ed stretched and rubbed his eyes. "What's this about fools?"

"Oh, the group chat for Hugo's study amuses me. I have them running around like beheaded chickens. Even Jerome is playing nicely into my plans." Oswald set the phone aside and preened. "My name will be prominently featured in the publishings of the study, of course. And I found out this morning that Wayne Enterprises is very interested in a few projects that I have lined up. Once I get access to their inner workings, then it's just a matter of time until I run their businesses as well."

"Excellent." Ed reached over and rubbed at Oswald's chest. "Mmm. My king."

Oswald purred and pulled Ed closer. "And your projects, my darling? How are they coming along?"

Ed rested his head on Oswald's chest, listening to his lover's heartbeat. "Mmm. Let's see... I can say that any attendees at orientation this year will have difficulty concentrating when I make certain...adjustments in the air quality. Just a tiny dose of cyclohexyl methylphosphonofluoridate, but I'm looking forward to seeing the results. Also, I have it on good authority that Jim Gordon and his band of idiots are trying to rise in the ranks of campus police. It would be most unfortunate if something were to happen to all the evidence they keep under lock and key." Ed grinned as Oswald began stroking his hair. "I have a few other ideas as well, of course."

"Mmm, my clever Edward." Oswald sighed and rubbed at the nape of Ed's neck. "I am quite the lucky man, to have you at my side, in my bed...sorry, our bed..."

Ed laughed, hugging Oswald close. He'd moved in almost immediately after Oswald's big romantic reveal, and he'd never felt so at home. Oswald was utterly thrilled to have Ed living with him, and he had quickly arranged to have touches of green decor added to the apartment to mark the occasion. "Our bed, yes. Our home." 

"Gotham is ours," Oswald murmured, gently scratching at the back of Ed's neck. "First the school, then the city itself. No one will ever be able to stop us." 

Ed moved up, staring down at the man he loved. He'd been planning his own surprise, which was quite the challenge when dating someone who was extraordinarily brilliant. Still, Ed was certain that Oswald didn't know about the small velvet box that was hidden in Ed's sock drawer, one that held a ring with lava rock inlay, amethyst and black diamonds. It was an original design, brought to reality by a local jeweler whom Ed had been successfully blackmailing for several weeks. 

He was going to ask Oswald a very important question that night. 

"What is mine but only you can have?" Ed asked softly, his heart so full of love and admiration that he almost couldn't stand it.

Oswald smiled, his gaze soft and fond. "Your heart," he whispered.

"Correct, Mr. Cobblepot," Ed murmured, and kissed him.


End file.
